confessions of a tired supergirl

hello lovely friday

2012-01-27T11:39:00.000-08:00

Friday is my favorite day of the week.

Friday is a let your hair down kind of day.

You've done all you can do for the week and

all you have in front of you is the anticipation of the weekend.

Sleeping in. Curling up with a book. Sipping a cup of tea.

Going for a walk. Playing a game with the kids.

Time with friends. Church. The weekend.

Can I get an amen?

I thought I'd let you in on a few of my other favorites.

So hear goes:

Favorite Cookie: Flourless Peanut Butter

(please feel free to add chocolate chips....I do....)

Favorite New Album: Colby Caillat

(The song "I do" is my favorite song)

Favorite New Video: Kari Jobe We Are

Favorite New Author: Tasha Alexander

Favorite quote of the Day:

If you don't like how things are, change it! You are not a tree.

Jim Rohn

Favorite Verse:

But those who wait upon GOD get fresh strength.

They spread their wings and soar like eagles,

They run and don't get tired, they walk and don't lag behind.

Isaiah 40:31

It's Friday, friends.....let's do a little soaring.

the long dream

2012-01-22T13:17:00.000-08:00

I have been thinking a lot about chasing dreams lately.
About how our hopes for better things get us moving
and how our longing for being more
than we are gets us to overcome our fears.
Scott and I started chasing the dream of planting a church
on the San Francisco peninsula 7 years ago next week.
We had grand plans. We rented a 900 seat theater.
There were 11 of us on our team.
4 of which were children aged 3 and under.
Everyone counts.... don't let anyone tell you different.
We had visions of filling the theater.
Than our vision changed to finding a place that fit our size.
We moved three times and ended up back in our house
for a year and half.
This wasn't necessarily the dream we dreamed for ourselves.
There were Sundays where once the worship team got up,
we were singing to empty seats. And Jesus, of course.
We hope He liked it. We felt kind of weird.
We have had Sundays where we have felt like the the power of the Lord
was going to blow the roof off...momentum was building.
And there have been Sundays where we have had more kids than adults.
(Which I think is kind of cool for our kids church...
but a bit unspiring for Scott as he stands up to speak.....)
In the past 7 years, I had my 3rd child,
battled some heinous post partum,
had some much needed therapy with 2 different counselors,
wrote 3 books, worked 3 different jobs, and have had to commit
fully to coloring my hair...gray is not a part of the dream.
Scott has had to live with me (bless him!)
all the while working a full time teaching job
along with trying to grow a fledgling church, raising financial support,
discipling a guys group, counseling with people,
prepping his sermons on Saturdays all without a gall bladder.
Gall bladder surgery happened around year 4.
I think Scott misses it a little bit.
We really had no idea what chasing this dream would look like.
About 1 1/2 year ago, I told Scott, "I'm in."
And he said, "For what?"
"For planting a church."
He said, "Nice to know you are finally on board."
Some of us take a little more time than others to embrace the dream.
But we have checked our hearts and our prayers lately
and the dream has not changed.
The dream of telling people about Jesus and of seeing lives transformed.
The dream of teaching kids about God's love and seeing broken people healed.
It says in Psalms 37:34,
Don't be impatient for the LORD to act!
Travel steadily along his path. He will honor you, giving you the land.
You will see the wicked destroyed.
I am almost always impatient for the Lord to act.
Okay,....always.
But sometimes I think God puts a long dream in front of us.
A dream where we have to keep following steadily along his path
hanging tight to the hopes He has given us
even when He has only shown us small glimpses of the promised land.
Like Joseph whose path to power led him through
a prolonged prison sentence.
Or Sarah who waited 26 years before God gave her the son
He promised her.
Those are long dreams.
So this next week are celebrating 7 years with our church.
Celebrating who we have been, who we are right now and who we will
become as we keep chasing after what God has called us to.
We are going to have pizza and maybe some chocolate cake.
And then we are going to keep right on dreaming.
Because the good part is coming.
You can count on it.

and so they met their demise

2012-01-18T10:45:00.000-08:00

I discovered this grisly scene this morning when I was picking up the living room.
Addison likes to wage wars between his Batman action figure and his many nemeses.
But apparently something else got to Penguin, Joker and the Riddler before Batman could.
Take a quick look at their surroundings...the undershelf of our couch side table.
Note the unbelievable amount of particulate that has collected therein.
(Note to self: dust the couch side table sometime this year.)
There is no question what downed these evil doers.
It is all too evident.

It was death by dust bunnies

clearly I should be nominated for chef of the year

2012-01-12T09:39:00.000-08:00

Last night at dinner we were eating black bean tostadas with
homemade guacamole and fresh cilantro.
I like to try and encourage the boys to eat their veggies in a
healthy and yummy way.
Will looked at me mid-munch and said,
"Mom, I love how you cook."
And I almost threw my arms around him and plastered him
with kisses.
Compliments to the chef in this house are rare....very rare.
He said, "Do you know what my favorite meals are that you make?"
Anxious for more affirmation, I said, "What?"
He said, "Pizza on pizza night and macaroni and cheese."
I looked at him and said,
"You mean pizza from Little Ceasar's and macaroni and cheese
from a box?"
"Yep," he answered with a grin.
Will has a great appreciaton for the culinary arts.
I guess I'll be saving those kisses for Kraft Mac and Cheese night.

thoughts on the new year

2012-01-04T10:33:00.000-08:00

So this tired supergirl has been off the grid for the last two weeks.
Because the children were home and the holidays are all consuming.
I am sure I am not alone in this.
It is no small miracle that the children were bundled off to school
this morning with lunches and clean underwear.
We are finally back home from our time with family in Colorado and
are getting back into the swing of things...sort of.
I can never feel like I am in full swing of the New Year until the
Christmas tree is down and that has not yet come to pass.
It is turning a lovely shade of brown green in my living room even as
I type.
That must be dealt with.
Does anyone know if there are Christmas tree fairies who can come
and take down my tree and re-pack the Christmas detritus in its boxes?
If so, send them over ASAP.
I have been thinking about some new resolutions for this year.
I went back to my journal last year and looked over my resolutions
and after page 5, realized I was crazy nuts to write so many
resolutions. I was doomed from the start.
Yes, you read that correctly. 5 pages. Crazy. Nuts.
That would be me.
So this year I have two resolutions.
To follow hard after God.
and
To love people more. And better. More better.
The two great commandments that Jesus gave.
Because I have been thinking about this life that God has given me.
I am coming to find I must hold it lightly and reverently because
it is hard and fragile and beautiful and I have no idea what is
around the next corner.
But God does and if I chase after him he won't let me down.
He will take care of me
And he has, in turn, given me people to take care of.
And if I can think a little less about me and little more about them
we will all be better off.
These are going to be easier to remember than 5 pages of
resolutions.
I know they will be more difficult to do.
But the good stuff always is.
And this year, I am praying for a lot of good stuff.
For clarity and hope and strength and courage and wisdom and joy.
For you and me both.
Let's hope the Christmas tree fairies show up and get us off to a good start.

a different kind of christmas carol

2011-12-20T10:05:00.000-08:00

This past Sunday we had our first ever kids
mini-Christmas concert at Pathway.
16 boys and girls dressed in their Christmas finery ages 2-10.
All the children arrived early with their parents for a dress rehearsal.
They formed a straight line at the front of the Tapestry church
coffee shop where our church meets on Sunday afternoons.
I gave a few directives, "Everyone keep their eyes on me" and
"Don't pull your dress up" and began the first song.
A ruckus broke out at one end of the line.
Of course, all ruckus's involve my children.
There was a shout from Jack at which point
I saw him grab his younger brother's head
and hurl him to the ground.
The violence was somewhat dischordant with the song
we were singing about God's great love.
I intervened putting both children on time out
all the while still trying to lead
and perform the corresponding hand motions.
I hissed at Jack, "What in the world?"
He hissed back, "He hit me in the privates."
Attacking your sibling's nether regions is also dischordant
with the song of God's great love.
Addie looked forlorn, "Sorry, Jack."
He knew he had crossed a terrible line. It showed on his face.
He didn't complain about being thrown to the floor by his head.
I think he felt he had it coming.
We had to start the song over. Sometimes you just can't recover.
The rest of the children followed with intent,
performing the hand motions and singing their hearts out.
Crisis averted. I returned Addison and Jack to opposite ends of the line.
I learn from my mistakes.
When it came time for the actual performance,
it went off without a hitch.
Dresses were kept at down. No injuries were inflicted.
And the kids sang strong and true.
After the first song, my 2 year old nephew Drew, piped up,
"We do' the motions!" Which they did.
And you could see the parents' joy as they watched their kids
You heard it in their applause and in the strength of their voices
when they joined us in singing our last song, Away in a Manger.
It felt like Christmas. Voices ringing out in song and joy filling the air.
I think a new Pathway tradition has been formed.
Except for the pre-Christmas concert wrestling show.
That part we'll leave out.

christmas joy

2011-12-13T11:15:00.000-08:00

The tides of Christmas have swept in.
There is snow (or at least a cold California drizzle) in the air.
People are baking with cinnamon.
And Christmas lights are making bright beacons out of homes,
beckoning us towards cheer and good will.
And we are caught up in it.
The house is decorated. The Christmas quilt my mom made is
laying over the back of the overstuffed chair.
Mercury glass votives line the mantle and bristle brush
trees frame small frosted paper houses making a small
snowy Christmas scene on top of our television armoire.
We don't have our tree yet but that is next on the list
since the children keep reminding us....and reminding us.
But we have done some shopping.
I took each boy out by themselves to shop for their brothers and their dad.
It is a rare time when I have a moment alone with one of my sons.
Mostly we roll into a store like a loud unruly gang with high pitched voices
and energetic body parts that need to be corralled and kept in line.
But going out with one boy in tow for gift buying has been a treat.
I have gotten to hold their hands and hang on their words and give
them undivided attention....a priceless commodity in our home.
I have caught some gleams of hope in my boys eyes.
The hope that they have found the perfect gifts for each other.
There is a lightness in their steps as they picked out the presents,
fingering the crisp packaging, and wishing outloud.
Addison wished that he could have every single thing
he bought for his brothers.
Jack wished he could have more money to buy more presents.
Will wished that we could give the presents immediately as soon as
we got home.
This is joy. Buying dollar toys and candy for a brother.
Comparing notes on what dad would like best.
And sucking cold air into your lungs as you skip to the car
with a bag of gifts clutched at your side.
And the best part? It only gets better.
It's not even Christmas yet.

not so famous

2011-12-09T08:46:00.001-08:00

The new book catalogue for Revell spring book releases came out
and I Blame Eve has a full page spread along with my picture
at the bottom of the page.
It's a little fancy and makes me look like an author.
Which I am.
Except on most days I feel like a housekeeper/taxi driver/fry cook.
All that to say is that we were all around the kitchen table when
Will spied the picture in the catalogue.
A look of surprise lit his face, "Mom....you're famous?"
"Nope. I'm not famous."
"But you're in a magazine...only famous people are in magazines."
"It's a book catalogue that they send to book stores so they can order books."
He squinted at me. "People in magazines have mansions and big cars."
I laughed. "Sorry, no mansion."
"Why are aren't you walking the red carpet?"
(What has this child been watching on tv?)
It became more of an interrogation.
"Will, I'm not famous!"
"Where is your money? You should have money."
The other boys joined in, "Ya! Where is your money?"
Will directed them, "Check her pockets!"
Jack and Addison swarmed me, checking my pockets
and giving me a full pat down that would have done TSA proud.
Nothing.
There was a look of disappointment in his eyes.
I had risen to great heights in his estimation and sent his hopes crashing to
the depths all in a 3 three minute exchange over breakfast cereal.
Such is the life of a mother.
A not famous one, that is.

last night of the good bangs book study

2011-12-07T16:40:00.001-08:00

Join us at 7:00 pm pacific time for the book study of
My Bangs Look Good and Other Lies I Tell Myself:
The Tired Supergirls Search for Truth.

Go to the Good Bangs Study Group FB page and click
on the "chat with group" link to join in the live chat about
Chapter 21: I Don't Need To Change
Chapter 22: I Don't Need People
and
Chapter 23: I Am Never Going To Get Free

Hope to see you there!

the holiday plague

2011-12-05T08:56:00.001-08:00

Saturday in the late night hours, the stomach flu hit the Aughtmon family.
It is a low down and dirty bug. It first caught Addison in its clutches.
Followed by Jack and an extremely reluctant Will.
(Why must it always arrive in the middle of the night when one is so
cozily tucked into bed?)
There was a parade of pale faced children in and out of bed,
empty trash cans stationed by their beds, running to the bathroom.
There was a rubbing of backs and bleary eyes and some pitiful
cries on the part of the children. Stupid flu.
There was was some weeping and gnashing of teeth involved.
That would be me.
I can't stand when the children are so sad and it also brings back the
vivid memories of sleep depravity that haunted me in the early
(and not so early) parenting years.
There is always a great hope that when one child catches the stomach flu
that it will pass over the other children.
This is always a ill founded hope since you know from the past that
the flu tends to take out a family like a nicely lined up row of dominoes,
one right after the other.
Yesterday was spent at home with three boys wrapped in blankets
in the living room, watching Christmas shows
while taking timid bites of pedialyte popsicles.
I, myself, took to eating chicken broth and toast.
My stomach was on edge due to all the back rubbing and clean up
that was involved the night before.
I was praying heavy that Scott and I were not the next dominoes in line
to go down.
The boys are home again today, still a little pale, but we are moving on
to white bread and applesauce, in hopes that stomachs are more settled
and tomorrow will be a brighter day.
It's no fun to be sick during the holiday season.
I am going to continue to pray a hedge of protection around my own gut.
And I'm starting to use a new holiday greeting when I see folks,
"Merry Christmas and pass the hand sanitizer."
It think it's going to catch on well.

Good Bangs Book Study Tonight

2011-11-30T16:13:00.001-08:00

Join us at 7:00 pm pacific time for the book study of
My Bangs Look Good and Other Lies I Tell Myself:
The Tired Supergirls Search for Truth.

Go to the Good Bangs Study Group FB page and click
on the "chat with group" link to join in the live chat about
Chapter 18: I Only Have To Forgive People When I Feel Like It
Chapter 19: I Don't Need To Serve People
and
Chapter 20: I Need To Be Good So That God Will Love Me.

Hope to see you there!

holy days

2011-11-22T17:16:00.001-08:00

It is amazing how quickly the holidays come on.
Halloween...Thanksgiving...Christmas and New Years all seem to snowball
one into the other.
Even moreso now that the retailers have decided to decorate
for 3 holidays at once...
Pumpkin reindeer baby New Year, anyone?
No? Me either.
Scott and I like to tuck our birthdays and anniversary into
this frantic time of year as well...to add to the melee.
But it is still my favorite time of year.
Because of the hint of good will hanging in the air.
Because so many things are covered in chocolate.
Because families remember to spend time together.
And people give out more presents than usual.
There is an abundance of succulent food and pies.
And there is an expectation of kindness that requnires us to
think of others rather than ourselves.
Blessing counting and prayers of thanks are encouraged.
No one judges you when you take seconds of dessert.
Friends come around more.
Half off sales abound. And who doesn't love a good sale?
I love it because people sing more often.
We have started practicing songs in Sunday School
for our kids to sing in big church.
Last night, my two year old nephew, Drew,
showed his mom what he had learned.
He knew quite a few of the motions to Away in the Manger.
My favorite motion he made was the sign for
"The stars in the sky".
Instead of making starburst signs in the air with his hands for the stars,
he poked both pointer fingers up in the air to the heavens,
performing a holy sort of disco.
It made you look up.
I think Drew has it right. Take your finger and point it up to the sky.
That upward glance of the eyes seems to drag the heart with it.
The soul of the holiday season begins in the heavens.
Because God chose to come to earth....we are thankful.
Because he gave of himself so freely...we give.
Because he offers new life, each morning, each month, each year,
is an invitation to chase after him one more time...
to embrace a new birth, a new life in him.
That is why I love this time of year.
Gratefulness. Hope. New beginnings.
Bring it on.

eat your veggies or else

2011-11-16T09:02:00.001-08:00

The other morning I was packing the kids lunches and
I noticed a common denominator among the three lunch boxes.
The fruit which I had so lovingly included in yesterday's lunches
to promote health and vigor in the children had been sadly neglected.
Everything else was eaten.
The food source with actual vitamins? Not so much.
So I turned to Jack and said, "Jack, I really want you to eat your fruit."
He said, "Okay." He seemed non-committal.
"You know it is good for you and you need it."
"Okay." He wasn't looking me directly in the eye.
I am realizing as I say this, I really can't make him eat his fruit at
school, even with the strength of my will and my furrowed brow
stressing the importance of the fruit.
He could just throw his fruit in the trash and call it a day.
So I threw out some good old Christian fear of the Lord to encourage
his good choice of eating vs. tossing the fruit.
"Jesus knows." (Which may not be a theologically appropriate argument...
Of course, Jesus knows everything
but does Jesus actually care if our children eat their fruit?
And how does he feel about motherly guilt trips?)
Jack laughed and said, "I know."
(He apparently sees through my shoddy nutrional theology.)
At which point, Addison piped up,
"And Santa does, too! He's been watching you!"
Clearly, Jack had better eat his fruit... his soul and Christmas presents
hang in the balance.
Let's hope he makes the right choice.

good bangs book study tonight

2011-11-16T09:01:00.001-08:00

Join us at 7:00 pm pacific time for the book study of
My Bangs Look Good and Other Lies I Tell Myself:
The Tired Supergirls Search for Truth.

Go to the Good Bangs Study Group FB page and click
on the "chat with group" link to join in the live chat about
Chapter 16: I Am in Control of My Destiny
and
Chapter 17: I Can't Hear God's Voice.

Hope to see you there!

good bangs book study tonight

2011-11-09T08:26:00.000-08:00

Join us at 7:00 pm pacific time for the book study of
My Bangs Look Good and Other Lies I Tell Myself:
The Tired Supergirls Search for Truth.

Go to the Good Bangs Study Group FB page and click
on the "chat with group" link to join in the live chat about
Chapter 16: I Am in Control of My Destiny
and
Chapter 17: I Can't Hear God's Voice.

Hope to see you there!

it was a little hot in the kitchen last night

2011-11-08T17:24:00.000-08:00

Every once in a while I get completely bored of the usual dinners I make.
Tacos. Spaghetti. Chicken. Hamburgers. Yummy but boring.
So I try and branch out.
Last night I made spice rubbed tilapia,
with cilantro rice and cuban style black beans
with Trader Joe's mango salsa on the side.
Look at me being adventurous.
Look at me spreading my culinary wings.
Look at me bringing flavor and cultural diversity to the dinner table.
Look at the children not eating.
Will was excited. "I love fish," he said, popping a bite in his mouth.
Pause.
"Except this isn't very good." Water gulping.
"That is spicy!"
"Really?" I said.
Scott piped up, "Is there cinnamon in this? I thought you didn't like
cinnamon in savory food....and it is spicy."
"No cinnamon...paprika...ginger...allspice...lime juice..." I took a bite.
And let loose with a Michael Jacksonesque "Whoooooooooooo!"
A little fire may have shot out of my ears.
"Wow...that does have a kick."
Now I don't mind spicy but usually it is nice to have something that is
not spicy to cool the mouth down which I thought would be the mango salsa.
But apparently someone in the packing plant got excited
with the jalapenos and that was also spicy.
Cuban black beans? Spicy.
At this point, the child who has the least tolerance for spice began to
tear up...."It's all sooooooo spicy."
And I forbade him from crying.
Somethings you can cry about. Spicy fish is not one of those things.
I let him eat left over corn muffins with jam.
And then I started laughing.
Because I cooked a dinner that should have had a scoville rating.
It tickled me.
Scott was glad about that because usually when the children complain
about dinner, I become easily angered and start making statements like,
"Hungry children everywhere would love this dinner."
That may or may not be the case with this particular dinner.
So I am soldiering on in the quest for new meals to
broaden our palates with.
Tonight I'm making Thai Peanut Noodles.
I wonder if they're spicy.....

good bangs book study tonight

2011-11-02T17:12:00.000-07:00

Join us at 7:00 pm pacific time for the book study of
My Bangs Look Good and Other Lies I Tell Myself:
The Tired Supergirls Search for Truth.

Go to the Good Bangs Study Group FB page and click
on the "chat with group" link to join in the live chat about
Chapter 14: I Will Never Be Enough
and
Chapter 15: I Can Love People At My Convenience.

Hope to see you there!

a conversation in the van

2011-11-02T16:59:00.000-07:00

On the way home from school today Jack asked me, "Mom, what is your favorite palindrome?"
I paused. And reached into the dark recesses of my mind
trying to locate the definition of a palindrome.
I got nothing.
"Remind me what a palindrome is, buddy."
"A palindrome is the a word that spells the same thing
both forward and backward."
I reached back into that spacious abyss of my memory trying to
think of a favorite word that spells the same thing both
forward and backward.
And.....nothing.
"I don't think I have a favorite...what's yours?"
"I like Professor Ross E.Forp."
"Nice, that is a good one!"
Jack paused.
"Addie and Will's favorites are "poop" and "toot".
Of course they are.
Why wouldn't they be?
This brought giggles from the other boys.
Then Addie piped up, "I also like "bob".
Well, thank God for "bob" is all I can say.

halloween was a little scarier this year

2011-11-01T10:06:00.000-07:00

Halloween was all it was meant to be last night....
a night for neighbors welcoming each other with chocolate,
happy faced jack o lanterns lighting up sidewalks and doorways,
and children running from house to house squealing for candy.
But my favorite part of Halloweenwas seeing all the cute kids
decked out as super heroes and princesses, displaying their finery,
as they rang the door bells and asked for treats.
But there has been a shift in our own household over the past few years
in the area of costuming.
We seem to be leaning toward the dark side.
Here are our Halloween pictures from 4 years ago.

Addison as a wee (somewhat subdued) Peter Pan.

Will as a serious Luke Skywalker, full of the Force.

Jack as a joyful Qui Gon Jinn Jedi Master, right and good.
All bringers of light and justice and fighters of evil.
And here is our Halloween picture from this year.

Addison as a malicious Darth Vader, destroyer of the Empire.
Will as a rakish Will Turner, swashbuckling pirate extraordinaire.
And Jack as Al Capone, gangster and lover of a good machine gun.
Clearly, there has been a shift.
And this is the children reigned in.
Addison, my sweet 5 year old, wanted to go as the Grim Reaper.
To this I said, "No, you are not going as Death to trick or treat.
Why in the world would you want to go as the Grim Reaper?"
Jack said, "Mom, he does have a cool scythe and that nice hoodie."
Nice hoodie aside....no thank you.
I'm hoping for a pendulum swing next year in the costume department.
Maybe a saintly John the Baptist or a rugged football player or a return to
the good side of the Force would be nice.
A mother can dream, can't she?

thoughts on hope and lemons

2011-10-28T13:14:00.000-07:00

In our backyard, we have a meyer lemon tree.We love that tree.
She is a fantastic tree.
For the past 5 years, the tree has faithfully given us some of the
best lemons known to man.
Firm and tart with a hint of sweet almost orange flavor to them.
They are really lovely when in a lemonade or frosted lemon scone.
Really.
My mouth is watering just thinking about them.
Then, for some reason last year, the lemon tree began to go bald.
This caused me no end of distress.
You could see through to its hollowed out center
that there was no life on the inside of the tree,
no leaves at all, just brittle branches and poky thorns.
The outer part of the tree was dropping leaves left and right,
offering up only a paltry amount of tiny very hard lemons.
So when my mom and Dad came out this summer,
they got online and researched how to fix an ailing lemon tree.
The answer was to strip it of all its branches and whitewash it
to keep it from scorching in the sun.
So we did. Branch by branch, limb by limb,
mom and dad and I hacked and clipped and chopped
and took it down to the trunk.
It looked naked and sad....and naked.
A very forlorn un-lemony lemon tree.
But clearly, my mom and dad are tree whisperers because
the craziest thing has started happening in the past few weeks.
The tree has started sprouting new leaves.
Tiny flags of green unfurling from the trunk are announcing life
and health and....hope.
I have always envisioned hope as more of an airy thing,
like a sweeping song or a bird on the wing,
something that takes flight in our souls and sends us soaring.
But in Proverbs 13:12 it talks about hope in a differnent way. It says
"Hope deferred makes the heart sick,
but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life."
The thought "hope deferred"
has a sick-leaf-dropping kind of feeling to it, doesn't it?
But a dream fulfilled...a tree of life...
those words have sense of being grounded and full.
They carry the scent of new beginnings with them...
the promises of buds and lemon flowers and grass-green leaves.
They give the assurance of sturdy branches filled with ripe fruit.
that keep on replenishing and growing,
filling up and out and heaven-ward.
Hope can be a small seed of belief that takes root in our soul
and births something better, something brighter,
and something heavier with joy, bringing sustenance and life.
It seems that there is only one place that true hope is grown.
It is in the One who created the lemons.
Despite desperate circumstances, dying dreams,
and insurmountable odds,
if we can deposit a small kernel of hope in Him,
new growth is guaranteed.
Fresh mercies are found.
Second chances are inevitable.
Miracles are possible.
Uncharted paths are revealed.
Dreams live.
And hope blooms.
Even for a naked lemon tree.

shelly update

2011-10-26T12:04:00.000-07:00

My friend, Shelly, made it through her surgery yesterday without complications.
Praise God!
It was ovarian cancer as they thought but they were able to get all of it
and it had not spread to her organs, lymph nodes, or intestines.
She will be in the hospital for 10 days, followed by a month of recovery,
before 6 cycles of chemo begin (approx 5 mos.)
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you for your prayers..
.and please keep praying for Shelly's journey ahead!

pray for shelly because i really like her

2011-10-24T21:48:00.000-07:00

Seventeen years ago, I met Shelly Thorwaldson.
It was a Sunday morning at Peninsula Christian Center in the
old upstairs youth room.
She was wearing hot pink flowered leggings...and rocking them.
Her husband, Ben, co-youth pastored the youth group
with my newly acquired boyfriend, Scott.
I remember being nervous. And a little unsure of what was to come.
One feels awkward facing a room full of teenagers who know you
are kissing their pastor.
But Shelly was from day one...my friend.
We laughed together.
And plotted together.
We yelled at kids to keep rocking at the rockathon together.
We stayed up all night together during youth all nighters.
At which point we were grouchy together.
We went on retreats together.
Winter retreat. Summer retreats.
I was sous chef to her chef, following her lead,
as she mapped out meals, planned menus and executed tacos for 50
with precision.
We dreamed together.
We sang in musicals together.
We formed a Point of Grace cover group together.
Shelly was the soprano...I was the alto.
She was the assistant wedding planner at my wedding.
When we left to youth pastor another church 15 minutes away,
we still hung out.
Comparing youth war stories, meeting up for bbqs, bemoaning
being pastors wives...and loving it at the same time.
And then came the onslaught of children.
In five years between the two of us there was....
Jack, Matea, Will, Logan, Addison and Nick.
When I wrote my first book, Shelly watched Jack and Will
at her home daycare.
She threw Addison's baby shower at her house and encouraged
me through heinous bout of post partum depression.
We planted our church in 2004 and Ben and Shelly left
Redwood City to plant theirs in 2009.
And Shelly and I became retreat buddies going to the minister's
wives retreat on scholarship...as church planters wives are wont to do.
We caught up at a preschool in service this summer talking about kids,
and getting older (but we both still look fantastic don't think otherwise)
and about the roller coaster ride of church planting.
We get each other. We live the same lives in so many ways.
And then 2 weeks ago, Shelly found out she has ovarian cancer.
I called her.
And she was calm on the phone, encouraged by the Lord,
bound up with his undying strength and we laughed a little
and talked about the unbelievability of what was happening in her life
and prayed together.
And then I went in and laid my head on Scott's shoulder and
bawled like a baby because I really don't want Shelly to have cancer.
And that is an understatement.
So tomorrow Scott and I are driving up to Sacremento for her surgery to
have an the tumor removed.
Ben has said the surgery could be tricky.
But I have been praying big prayers over Shelly.
Prayers of healing and hope and a great future.
Prayers of strength and grace and mercy.
For her and Ben and her three sweet kids.
And I am coveting your prayers on her behalf.
I know most of you have never met Shelly....
but I also know that you would really like her a lot if you did.
So if through out your day today and tomorrow,
if you happen think of Shelly, would you please pray a big
healing prayer over her, too?
Because the more prayers the better I think.
I am believing that God is going to answer.
Because he likes Shelly the most of all.

sisters

2011-10-23T08:54:00.000-07:00

This morning I am sitting at the granite island in the middle of my sister, Erica's kitchen.
She is making pumpkin muffins.
Jenny is sitting next to me eating greek yogurt and strawberry freezer jam.
The coffee is brewing in the pot.
Erica's earl grey tea is cooling at her elbow.
Here we are.
3 sisters. Together.
It is a rarity. And a beautiful thing.
Between us we have 8 children who attend 4 different schools,
3 pastor husbands, 2 church calendars,
3 careers,
(HR project associate, jewelry designer, writer (with a variety of odd jobs on the side),
and as of yet, no pets
(from my lips to God's ears, please don't let that change.)
Orchestrating a visit between the three of us
takes an aligning of the planets.
Apparently, that came to pass.
And there is a goodness in the air.
A sweetness to our time together and a good amount of joy
that is present.
We do enjoy a good laugh.
We are smart enough to know we have to soak it up
when it comes our way.
We have shopped and seen a movie
and gone for a long walk along the Willamette River path,
we have drank a lot of hot beverages...a lot.
And we have talked.
And talked.
that has been the best part of all.
To sit with each other and listen and laugh and encourage each other.
We've known each other for so long
and we like each other so much....there is always a lot to talk about.
And so we are going to keep soaking...we have a day and a half left.
It has by gone too fast.
Way too fast.
But the pumpkin muffins are coming out of the oven so
the goodness and joy are still here in abundance.
Sometimes life is sweet.
And clearly, sisters make it sweeter.

good bangs book study tonight

2011-10-19T16:41:00.000-07:00

Join us at 7:00 pm pacific time for the book study of
My Bangs Look Good and Other Lies I Tell Myself:
The Tired Supergirls Search for Truth.

Go to the Good Bangs Study Group FB page and click
on the "chat with group" link to join in the live chat about
Chapter 12 - God Doesn't Care If I'm Thankful
and
Chapter 13 - God Doesn't Feel Things Like I Do
Hope to see you there!

pre-prayer-ed as it were

2011-10-13T09:26:00.000-07:00

Scott loves to emulate holiness preachers
with their catchy rhyming sayings when he is prepping messages at home.
This is, I think, because his inner rapper is still clammoring to get out.
Even though his collegiate rap ministry came to an end,
you just can't keep that kind of rhyming giftedness at bay for long.
And so the catchy slogans flow....such as....

Don't go, yo' way. Go Yahweh.
'Cuz when Yahweh is yo' way,
It's okay.

Or our favorite....

You're not prepared
Because you haven't pre-prayered.

And this is what has been eating at me lately.
My lack of pre-prayered-ness.
It is if the Holy Spirit has taken up residence in my head,
reminding me....relentlessly, mind you, that nothing is going
to shift in my life or my family's lives, or my friend's lives,
or our church or our community or our nation or this world for that matter,
if I am not talking to God about it.

Inviting him into the mess of my world.
Waiting on his answers.
Resting in his abilities.
Telling him who he is in his immense knowledge
and reminding him that I've got nothing down here.
Giving him my full attention.

In a sense, I feel like he is calling me out.
Because my attention span is shot.
I start praying and I end up making a grocery list for potato soup.
I begin a journal entry and come up with 3 different children
stories that are wating to be written.
I put my head down to pray and wake up 10 minutes later
from a much needed yet prayer-less nap.

I'll let you in on a secret.
Intercession, spiritual warfare, waiting on the Lord,
call it what you will, is not my gifting.
Nope.
Passion for chocolate would be a gift of mine but
that doesn't seem to carry much weight in the heavenlies.

But this is the thing.
I believe Jesus can change me.
I have pinned my life to that great hope.
He has saved me and in turn, continues on a daily basis
to save me from myself and re-new me with his power.
And so the first thing I will praying about today is that
he will help me pray.
A bit redundant? Maybe.
But I think He will.

And if by chance, you, too, struggle when it comes
to getting on your face and talking with the one who
loves you best,
don't hesitate to join me in the prayer for divine assistance
in the area of prayer .
He can help you, too.

It brings to mind a new catchy slogan....
(Scott would be proud.)

My prayer is that He will make me a pray-er.

Can I get an amen?

good bangs book study tonight

2011-10-12T16:29:00.000-07:00

Join us at 7:00 pm pacific time for the book study of
My Bangs Look Good and Other Lies I Tell Myself:
The Tired Supergirls Search for Truth.

Go to the Good Bangs Study Group FB page and click
on the "chat with group" link to join in the live chat about
Chapter 10 - God Doesn't Know Me
and
Chapter 11 - God Owes Me
Hope to see you there!

maybe i should try harder....

2011-10-10T09:01:00.000-07:00

This morning was a blur.
A rush of wrinkled school uniforms and re-heated pumpkin pancakes.
Somehow I didn't hear my alarm.
But we managed.
3 boys. 3 pairs of pants. 3 polo shirts. 3 backpacks.
3 lunches made. 3 sets of brushed teeth (fingers crossed at the accuracy of brushing.)
And we were ready.
Until Jack reminded me it was Crazy Hair Day at school.
Oh, Spirit week, how you sneak up on us unsuspecting parents.
So I whipped out the golden highlight hair spray (don't ask why I have it) and
spiked Jacks hair into a mass of glittery peaks.
Addie got pomade and a wickedly cute faux hawk.
And Will.....Will's curly mass of hair did its own thing.
We slicked back his bangs and puffed out the sides and Jack declared him,
"Princess Leia".
Which did not go over well. And prompted Will to revert back to his
normal crazy hairstyle of surfer-esque blonde curls.
And we were off.
Done. In the car. Arrived at school on time.....
For Pajama Day.
I guess I should have actually checked the Spirit Week sheet
before coiffuring all my kids.
Hopefully, they are easy-going enough to enjoy their spectacular
hair while everyone else is sporting footy pajamas.
But just know this, if it happens to be Crazy Hair Day tomorrow,
I'm all over it.
Just as soon as I replenish the golden highlight hair spray.

good bangs book study tonight

2011-10-05T18:37:00.000-07:00

Join us a 7 pm pacific time for the Good Bangs Book Study
online chat on facebook!
We're going over chapters 8 & 9.
God Can't Possibly Care About Me
and
God Caused My Problems.
Hope to see you there!

sometimes joy is found in unassuming places

2011-10-04T22:58:00.000-07:00

Tonight the house is quiet.
Of course, it is 10:24 p.m.
Sometimes it takes a long time for this house to be quiet.
The children were wound up like energizer bunnies after
a long day at school and a children's event at the library.
I am looking forward to climbing into bed with the pattering of the rain
against the window,
the sound of the fan stirring the air and the weight of the comforter
wrapped around me.
Sometimes it is life's simplest pleasures that bring me joy.
Talking with Scott about the days doings.
Laughing about the wildness of our children.
(or despairing over it...it depends on the day.)
Sipping a cold glass of water beaded with condensation.
Eating at least 3 squares of dark chocolate.
Stretching out on the couch.
Seeing an empty laundry basket. (God is good.)
Chatting on the phone with my sisters.
Finding quarters in the dryer. (Finders keepers, losers weepers....)
Taking out allergy dry contacts and putting on my trusty glasses.
Reading frivolous fiction.
(Crocodile on the Sandbank, an Amelia Peabody mystery, is the latest choice.)
Ruminating over non-frivolous non-fiction.
(E.M. Bounds on prayer is till just kicking my bootie...even just
typing that out, I am thinking E.M. Bounds may not have resonated with the
phrase "kicking my bootie" but the man just doesn't let up.
He is relentless in his argument for prayer and his words are
making me think and repent and think again.)
Filling the coffee pot and prepping it for when I wake up tomorrow.
Putting on my pjs... ..with the elastic waist band shorts.
(to quote Nacho Libre...sometimes we just need some stretchy pants...
or stretchy shorts for that matter.)
Kissing my boys on sleep smooth foreheads just one last time before
I head to bed.
You know....joy.
I will take it where I can get it.
Comfy bed...here I come!

i don't mind jogging for a good reason

2011-10-03T07:47:00.000-07:00

This past week one of our neighbor kids came over and
asked if Jack could go ride bikes.
It was a girl neighbor.
And she had a girlfriend with her.
They wanted to go around the block.
Without parents.
Now, usually, if the boys are riding bikes, we are riding or
walking with them.
They just haven't been old enough to venture out on their own.
But Jack is 10. And very mature in his own eyes.
And Scott said, "Yes."
So Jack got on his bike and they took off.
And I felt like he left a small piece of his childhood in
his driveway as he pulled away.
And I asked Scott, "Can I jog along behind him?"
"I'll trail him at a distance. He'll never see me."
I began jogging in place to get my heart rate up.
Scott looked at me in shame.
He told I could quite possibly ruin Jack's life if I didn't
pull myself together.
It is obvious I am not prepared for solo bike rides
or cute girls in the near future.
But I prayed him around the block in my head...
Scott didn't need to know I was secretly panicking inside.
Within a few minutes, Jack came back inside.
"That was boring," he said.
All I could think was....Thank God.
Pray for me, people, obviously I am unprepared for the adventures
of growing boys.

the truth hurts

2011-10-02T11:42:00.000-07:00

Every once in a while I pick up a book that I really would never normally pick up.
I crave good fiction like a dark bar of chocolate.
But every once in a while, I will wander into Scott's office and
pick up one of the many on his desk.
They are always non-fiction.
He likes to read about 5 at a time.
This week I picked up The Complete Works of E.M. Bounds.
And I am tip-toeing through it with baited breath
because I feel as if E.M. Bounds is peering into my soul
and writing to me directly.
The man sees through me and all my finely crafted veneers.
I believe it is the power of the Holy Spirit that is winging his words
off the page and piercing my heart.
Piercing is not pleasant, just in case you were wondering.
He is speaking about preachers in general in the chapters I have been reading
but I'm pretty sure it applies to the general population of Christ followers...ie...me.
Here is a taste of what I have been reading....

The great hindrance is in the preacher himself. He has not in himself the mighty
life creating forces. There may be no discount on his orthodoxy, honesty, cleanness,
or earnestness; but somehow the man, the inner man,
in its secret places has never broken down and surrendered to God,
his inner life is not a great highway for the transmission of of God's message,
God's power. Somehow self and not God rules in the holiest of holies.

His words have pinned me, and I am left wrestling with who I have
thought myself to be and how I invite God into my life.
And who exactly I have surrendered myself to.
(I invite you to wrestle with me and his words....I don't like to be alone in my pain).
I told Scott I think E.M. Bounds is one of the meanest people I have ever read.
With his un-political correctness and his disregard for my bruised ego.
But in all that, I am glad for his hard truth.
It is changing me.

it's the good bangs book club tonight

2011-09-28T14:32:00.000-07:00

Tonight the Good Bangs Book Study group is meeting on line
on Facebook at 7:00 pm Pacific time.
We are going to be jumping in to chapters 6 & 7 of
My Bangs Look Good and Other Lies I Tell Myself:
The Tired Supergirl's Search for Truth.
The lies that we are going to be talking about are
Lie #6: God can't use me
and
Lie #7: God doesn't hear me
If you want to join in the conversation,
join the Good Bangs Book Study Group and meet us at 7:00 pacific time.

the speed of life

2011-09-25T10:42:00.000-07:00

It seems like we are settling into the dailiness of school.
Homework, lunches....lost homework...forgotten lunches.
You know, the norm.
Before we know it we will be knee high in
Christmas decorations and the new year will be upon us.
Because somehow in these last few years, time has increased its pace.
Winging through seasons. Flying past holidays. Leaping over birthdays.
I remember when the boys were babies and I was sleep deprived
and hopped up on coffee sometimes one morning could feel like
a whole year dragging out in its endless feedings, diaper changes,
and piles of laundry.
I remember someone telling me,
"Hold on to these times...Enjoy these little ones. It goes by in a flash."
Of course, I don't remember who it was who told me that
because I was sleep deprived and hopped up on coffee.
This morning, when the sky was still dark, Jack came into the room.
"Mom, can I get in bed with you?"
I mumbled something incoherent.
He got in.
A few minutes later, Will trotted in,
"Can I sleep in here, too?"
He took the foot of the bed, stretching out the length of him, long and lean.
It wasn't long before, I felt a small body wedging itself between Jack and
me...the baby never asks permission.
Addie feels sleeping with Mom and Dad is his right.
For just a few moments, time slowed down.
In the warmth of drowsy boys and the darkness of a cloudy sky it
was quiet. Peaceful.
And I remembered that advice of the wise forgotten sage of my early
mothering years.
So....I enjoyed it.

book signing in dublin

2011-09-21T17:13:00.000-07:00

Yes, I am doing a book signing in Dublin.
Not Dublin, Ireland, although I did spend two months there when I was in college.
I thoroughly enjoyed the tea and biscuits too much...and gained 20 lbs.
This will not be happening at the the book signing. (please, God!)
I will be at Dublin Lighthouse Christian Supply on Saturday, October 1 at 3 pm
along with authors Diana Greenwood and Sherry Kyle. Bring your book to be signed.
Or come buy one for your girlfriends for Christmas and I'll sign those, too!
Hope to see you there! (No biscuits or tea please...I'm weak willed...)

good bangs book study group tonight

2011-09-21T14:43:00.000-07:00

Tonight the Good Bangs Book Study group is meeting on line
on Facebook at 7:00 pm Pacific time.
We are going to be jumping in to chapters 4 & 5 of
My Bangs Look Good and Other Lies I Tell Myself:
The Tired Supergirl's Search for Truth.
The lies that we are going to be talking about are
Lie #4: God doesn't have good plans for my life
and
Lie #5: God will ask me to do things I don't want to do
If you want to join in the conversation,
join the Good Bangs Book Study Group and meet us at 7:00 pacific time.

go into all the world...even your own back yard

2011-09-19T08:27:00.000-07:00

Yesterday some kids came over to the house to play with the boys.
I sent them all back into the back yard as I
whipped up one last batch of summer jam.
A few minutes later,
Will came into the kitchen with a look of concern on his face.
"Mom, Madison said she doesn't believe in God."
I turned from my jam to look at him.
"Oh, man. Will, I know it is hard to understand but a lot
of people don't believe in God."
"But most of my friends believe in God, Mom."
I told him that I have friends that don't believe in God, too,
and more than anything I want them all to know him.
Will went back outside. A few minutes later, Jack came in.
"Mom, Will is talking crazy outside."
"It's okay for Will to talk to Madison about God, Jack."
"No, Mom. Will just told her if she doesn't believe that she is going to Hell."
Sweet mercy. Did I mention this is the first time that these children
had come over to play?
I may have had a heart palpation or two thinking about
the conversation that would ensue with Madison's mom over this visit.
At this point, I felt there needed to be some intervention.
Maybe a little jam break with a side of grace.
I called the kids in to taste the jam.
There was a great appreciation for its sweetness.
After the jam spoons were collected and the kids went back
outside to play, I called Will over.
"Will, Jack said you told Madison she is going to Hell.
Now this is the thing, it's so important to let your friends
know how much God loves them..."
"But Mom," he interrupted,"I just really want all my friends
to go to Heaven. I want to be able to see them there."
Now, people, this shamed me a little.
To see Will's young face, upturned, longing to make sure he takes
his friends with him when he goes.
It makes me think that I have grown a bit complacent
and lackadaisical in my fervor to share the good news with my friends that,
God loves them like crazy and wants them to be with him forever.
I almost told Will,"You go back out there with your hell talk
and bring her on home."
Instead, I hugged him and told him that I love that he loves his
friends so much.
Yesterday Will's words had me musing my own approach
to sharing Jesus with my friends.
So today I am praying that God will give me words
and grace and moments in my day to talk with my friends,
that I love so much, about the one who loves them most and best.
And mostly, I am going to pray that he gives me a heart like Will.
A heart that loves people enough to lay out the truth,
so that when I leave this earth and finally get to see Jesus,
I will be having a party with all my friends.

yes, i do know how to moonwalk

2011-09-07T08:34:00.001-07:00

You should know right off that my children no longer think
that I am cool...in any way.
In fact, when any time of funky music comes on and
I bust out some old school moves,
Jack usually says, "Awkwaaaard!"
Will turns his head in shame.
Addison giggles.
They have even been known to say, "Stop dancing, Mom."
This however just spurs me on to greater dancing heights.
Because embarrassing them adds to the joy.
But yesterday, Will asked me,
"Mom, do you know how to do the moonwalk?"
And I said, "Yes...yes, I do."
Who knew that countless hours as a 12 year old
practicing endlessly in front of the mirror in hopes
of someday dancing like Michael Jackson would bring me
a parental pay off oh these many years later.
(Disclaimer: I had a horrific pre-teen crush on MJ during his Thriller days...
I even wrote him letters with the steps of salvation included.
I was hoping to get him saved so we could dance side by side.
For some reason he never wrote me back...go figure.)
So last night I donned a pair of very slick pink and white striped
fuzzy socks and moonwalked my way across the kitchen floor.
(Linoleum is preferable to carpet for the most glide per square inch.)
Will looked shocked. And amazed.
"Mom, it looks just like it. Do it again."
This was a sweet sweet moment.
Will stood next to me and we practiced together for a good 15 minutes.
Will has the boogie in his blood...no doubt he will outshine
me in my moonwalking skills by the the end of the week.
But last night will always stand out as a grand moment in my mind.
It was the night my child ASKED me to dance.
This will most likely never happen again.
So I'm going to enjoy the moment while I can.

sign up for the good bangs book club HERE

2011-09-06T14:47:00.000-07:00

Hello, fellow tired supergirls!
There has a change of location for the Good Bangs Book Study Group.
We are no longer meeting on the My Bangs Look Good Fan page
since you are not allowed to chat live there.
So right off you should know that I am techno-challenged.
I'm pretty sure my DNA is wired for 1896...horse and buggy,
real correspondence and hand churned butter.
All that to say that I did actually figure out how
to open a group on Facebook that allows live chat for our
Good Bangs Book Study group.
Will wonders never cease?
We are now meeting on the Good Bangs Book Study group page.
If you sent me your e-mail, I have e-mailed you the link to sign
up for the Good Bangs Book Study Group.
Click on it and join up!
If I have not e-mailed you the link and you want to
be a part of the book study, click on the link below and
sign yourself up.
Good Bangs Book Study Group
(You will have to have a facebook account to do so.)
Can't wait to see you there tomorrow night!
Remember....
Wednesday, September 7, from 7:00 - 8:00 pm Pacific time
on the Good Bangs Book Study group page.
We'll be reviewing the intro and chapter 1.
It's going to be fun!

this is why i shouldn't be allowed to interact with the public

2011-09-01T12:17:00.000-07:00

About a month ago my computer gave up the ghost.
As in no hope of ever turning on or retrieving anything off of it kind of ghost.
So I researched computers a bit, an ended up getting a new laptop.
It just arrived in the mail 2 days ago.
My very own first ever never been used laptop.
It's so pretty. And new. And shiny.
All that to say that this morning I went on to try to access Microsoft
Office which was supposedly installed in the computer before
being sent and I realized I had to have a product key to install it.
There was none to be found in any of the packaging.
I was distraught. So Scott said, "Go ask customer service."
So I got on-line with HP.
May I say right off how very cordial the online agent was.
Clearly, they give them lessons in niceness before they talk with
customers who know nothing about computers who buy computers anyway.
The following conversation ensued.
09/01/2011 11:20:04AM Session Started with Agent (Shy A.)
Susanna: "Hi! i recently recieved my new computer
and I did not receive a product key to
access the microsoft offfice that was supposed
to be installed on the computer. How do I access microsoft office?"
Agent (Shy A.): "Thank you for contacting HP Home & Home Office Store Chat. Hi! Welcome to our Independence Sale. This is Shy. How are you today?"
Susanna: "Great! Thanks for asking"
Agent (Shy A.): "I'm sorry to know that you were not able to receive the product key code of your software."
Agent (Shy A.): "I am glad to know that you are doing great today."
Agent (Shy A.): "Susanna, did you a envelope inside the package?"
Agent (Shy A.): "*Susanna, did you see an envelope inside the package?"
Susanna: "No envelope. I have a bunch of brochures...how to start the computer, notebook accessories and a 2 disks for windows recovery. A norton activation brochure. Blue ray brochure"
Agent (Shy A.): "There should be included a small envelope inside the package."
Agent (Shy A.): "Inside of the envelope is product key code of your software."
Susanna: "since there isn't an envelope is there a way that you can get me the number of the product key"
Agent (Shy A.): "Let me see what I can do regarding on this concern."
Agent (Shy A.): "May I place you on hold for two minutes while I check my resources?"
Susanna: "Shy - I lied! I just found a disk...can you forgive me?"
Susanna: "sorry for taking up your time"
Agent (Shy A.): "It's okay."
Agent (Shy A.): "I forgive you no problem with me."
Susanna: "Thanks for being so understanding....my husband is embarrassed."
Agent (Shy A.): "It's a good thing that you found it."
Agent (Shy A.): "There is no need to be embarrassed it is an honest mistake."
Susanna: "Thank God! :) Hope you have a great day!"
Agent (Shy A.): "Thank you once again for using HP Home & Home Office Store Chat. We appreciate your business."
09/01/2011 11:34:56AM Session Ended
How was I to know that the disk was under the couch?
And wasn't it so fortunate that the kindly Shy did not type what
he was really thinking...like...
"I do not forgive you for thinking poorly of my company and
taking up precious moments of my day when you failed to look under
your couch for THE ENVELOPE containing the product key."
No, he was a very gracious gentleman.
Scott is humiliated as he witnessed the entire exchange.
He says I am quite often confidently wrong.
I, on the other hand, am ecstatic.
I have a computer. I have Microsoft Office.
I have a new best friend named Shy.
What more could a person want?

a new day...some crying was involved

2011-08-30T08:36:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we were all up at the crack of dawn for the first day of school.
For the older boys this is old hat.
Just another year of school to conquer and tuck away
in the pursuit of someday actually getting out of school.
Jack has informed me that doesn't intend to go to college.
He will be joining the work force as a pizza delivery guy.
The love of hot cheese and spicy pepperoni calls to him.
Either that, he said, or maybe he will go to Stanford.
Because clearly if he is not delivering pies,
Stanford should be his next choice.
Will was reluctant to get out of bed.
He still has summer in his eyes.
If only there could be one more day of swimming and cousins
before launching into class rules and homework.
For Will there is never enough play, enough running,
enough recess.
Sitting at a desk wears him out.
But for Addison, yesterday was a first.
The first day of kindergarten.
And it was a first for me.
The first day when all 3 of my boys would be in school.
Let's just say, that when I pulled Addie out from under the covers
I was already teary.
Because in my heart, Addie still looks like this.

He's a baby. Finger in his mouth. Sleepy eyes.
Leaning into me for a little comfort and a snuggle.
But this morning Addie looked like this.

He's big. He has clearly out grown my lap.
Lucky for me, he is still down with snuggling.
He wore his dress uniform and shouldered his backpack with pride.
Lining up for class was a little sobering,
but he was stoic. Ready for his new adventure of
pencil boxes and lined paper and counting numbers.

And as they filed into class, we waved. And lingered.
There was a whole brood of kindergarten parents pressed around the door.
Trying to get one last peek at them.
Mre. Brien, the kindergarten teacher, finally had to close the door.
And that's when the crying starting.
My crying, that is. Not Addie. He was fine.
Scott and I got to the van and I put my head on his shoulder
and bawled.
Because he is so ready. So ready. And I was so proud.
And a little bit sad that the season of little ones at home
with me is gone.
Scott reminded me, "Sue, you have been working at the preschool all year.
He really wasn't home with you that much."
This produced more tears.
"But I was with him at school."
Clearly, Scott should know logic is not going to win this battle.
This is all about a mom mourning a season that is passing.
Give me a week and I will be down with it, I promise.
I'll be thrilled and overjoyed with the prospect of moments
to myself.
But some moments just require a good solid cry.
A marker that says, "This has been a good chunk of my life.
It is shifting and changing. And I am happy for it but
sweet mercy, it sure went by fast,and I will miss it."
Lucky for me, I have at least 8 years before the Jack treks
off to the Pizza Academy or Stanford.
Scott better start preparing himself now.
It's not going to be pretty.

doing the work

2011-08-22T20:46:00.000-07:00

This is the thing.
I have been in one of those moods lately.
One of those 3 month long moods where I feel like
I am on perched on the brink of something new and fine
and hard and out of reach.
Like something needs to break open inside of my soul
so I can move forward.
Like I need a new song to sing because the old one
just isn't cutting it anymore.
I know there are things in my life that need to change.
More kindess.
Less pettiness.
Greater peace.
Fewer fights.
I could tick them off to you one by one.
But that is the same old same old.
I always need to be filled with more of Jesus and less of me.
That is a given every day of the week and twice on Sunday,
as Scott's granny likes to say.
But for the last few days I have had these words
impressing themselves on my mind...
Are you ready for the work?
As if the Holy Spirit is distilling a single thought in my spirit.
I mean, I talk big and all, wanting to risk it all and be free of fear
and trust God for more and better and bigger things but really....
am I ready for the work?
Because I am coming to believe, after lo, these many years
that there are specific things that he has for me to do.
Things that have not yet been wrought from this somewhat tired frame,
this mind, these hands, these feet.
It is my great hope that the best is yet to come.
That there is still good stuff out there with my name on it.
And I have also come to believe that most of the good stuff...
is hard to come by.
It takes faith and hope and perseverance and a belief that God
is in the work...in the dust and filth and murkiness of daily life.
And I think that God knows that I want to be a part of his work.
Of the loving and changing and believing in more than I can see.
But he needs me to know that I am going to have roll up my sleeves
and listen to his words and plant my feet in the wide goodness of him
before any of that can come to pass.
And he knows I prefer to free lance.
To do things my way. Take my own sweet time.
On most days, it's not my nature to let him have his way.
And that is where I am tonight. Pondering.
Am I ready? Probably not. But I am willing.
And I got a good strong word from my good friend Sara Bareilles
tonight.
I do enjoy a good Sara Bareilles song.
She says...

I made up my mind when i was a young girl
I've been given this one world
I won't worry it away
But now and again i lose sight of the good life
I get stuck in a low light
But then Love comes in

I get one shot at this, you know?
And whatever the One who created me has for me?
That is the work I want to do.
Looking to him for the next step, the next breath,
palms up, honest and real,
no matter how scared I am.
I don't want to come at it dragging my heels,
doubting his words and prompting,
wishing I had lived different yesterday.
After all....his Love came in.
That should make all the difference.

the good bangs book club is coming soon to a computer near you

2011-08-19T08:35:00.000-07:00

We start our first virtual book club in just a few weeks
with My Bangs Look Good and Other Lies I Tell Myself:
The Tired Supergirl's Search for Truth!
I have had some readers ask how they can be a part of the
live chat on Facebook.
Here are the steps:
1. Sign up for a facebook account if you don't already have one.
2. "Like" My Bangs Look Good on Facebook
This will give you access to the My Bangs Look Good Facebook page
where we will be chatting
3. Show up at 7:00 pm pacific time on September 7 to the
My Bangs Look Good Facebook page and we will dive into the intro
and the study questions for Chapter 1.

Anyone who has signed up for the book club via e-mail
will be e-mailed a reminder so they don't forget! :)
You can still sign up by leaving your e-mail in the comments
or e-mail me at tiredsupergirl@gmail.com
or just show up to FB page when we meet.

If you would like to be a part and need the book ($10 plus S&H),
e-mail me at tiredsupergirl@gmail.com and we'll get that out to you!

clearly the wee elves have been at work

2011-08-18T23:02:00.001-07:00

So ever since I have been a small girl I have
always wanted fairies to be real.
Because that would make me so happy to think
that there are little beings, living in buttercups,
sprinkling fairy dust and having parties in the
wood with their magical elf and brownie friends.
Reading Anne of Green Gables as a child only
encouraged this longing.
Anne was down with small woodland nymphs and sea sprites.
All that to say, last night or should I say early this morning
at 1:00 a.m. when we arrived home from our train adventure,
we walked in the house to clean carpets.
Beautiful lovely steam cleaned carpets.
As in o-my-lord all the horrifying stains in my living room are gone
clean carpets (along with those in the boys rooms and our bedroom).
And furniture had been dusted.
And there was chocolate in the kitchen with my name on it.
Jelly bellies in Scott's office.
And welcome home gummies on each of the boy's pillows
which they promptly ate.
The laundry was done. And there was fresh fruit on the table.
And sandwich makings in the fridge.
(Anyone else thinking "The Cobbler and the Elves" here?)
And on the table was a note from Pathway (our church) saying,
"Scott and Sue, we love you!"
It was magical. Truly. Unbelievable. Amazing.
I can't tell you the last time I have felt so completely
overwhelmed by another's graciousness.
I may or may not have laid down on the cleaned carpets
and rolled around in sheer joy and appreciation.
This was a deep and full love that cleaned my house.
What does one do when you are humbled by such a gesture
of love?
Mostly one cries into the phone when trying to phone the
elves the next morning to say a small thank you for such
a large gift.
So...this is a larger thank you.
Elves...you know who you are!
You blessed our socks off.
We are still reeling from the goodness of what you did.
And mostly,you should know,
that the peace and cleanliness that greeted our
rumpled selves so early this morning was rejuvenating.
The best welcome home we have ever had. Ever.
Thank you for making us feel so loved and cherished.
You are the best!
And you should know...we love you back!

noticing things

2011-08-14T08:06:00.000-07:00

We've been at my parent's house for about a week now and
this morning we will begin the hunting and gathering of all of the
toys, stray socks, paperbacks and toothbrushes that
have found their way into the endless nooks and crannies
of this home.
Tomorrow we'll be boarding the train and heading back for school and
work and writing and the cleaning of toilets and the making of lunches.
You know, real life.
This summer has seemed to be over full with work and events
even though in my mind I pretend summer is about ice cream and thick books.
It has moved so swiftly, I seemed to lose a month or so.
(How is it already mid-August?)
I have noticed that I've been holding my breath this summer.
Waiting for this week when I could be away from home
and take a moment to pause and puddle on the floor...
letting all the expectations and work of real life fall away.
Those moments are rare. And when they come along,
surely we should be aware of them, savoring them like chips
of cool ice on the tongue on a hot summer afternoon.
Refreshment. Relaxation. Naps on the couch for no apparent reason.
Cracks in time where we slow down and notice the life that is
swelling around us, moving us forward, lifting us up.
I've noticed how much I like being with my family.
Yesterday morning we went to church and worshiped together as a family.
Scott sat next to me. We held hands.
This was a rare beautiful thing.
I noticed that laughing makes everything more fun.
We played word games with Brett and Jenny and Mom and Dad,
laughing out loud, honing our guessing skills to a fine point.
(Who would have thought describing the phrase "The British Empire"
could be so difficult?)
I noticed that my sons are changing almost before my eyes.
A few nights ago, we took the boys to Floyd's Barbershop
for a family haircutting session.
They all seemed to grow an inch with each trim of this scissors.
Jack seemes to be filling out and up, taking up the space of a
young person coming into his own thoughts and laughter,
engaging those around him in discussion and then falling back
into child's play, spending his fun money on toys and polished
rocks at a garage sale on Saturday.
Will is finding his way into new interests.
My mom showed him how to play Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater on
the piano and he finds his way there every hour or so,
to play and fiddle and see what he can get his fingers to do,
if he can coax his own music from the keys.
He is proud of himself. You can tell by the smile that
transforms his face with the last pinging note of the song.
And Addison, sat still in his chair as the hair dresser,
snipped at his sideburns and answered the questions she asked.
What is your name? Addison.
How old are you? 5.
He did this with his eyes squinting halfway shut so as
not to fully acknowledge her presence.
But this is a monumental thing. Only a year or so ago
he would have burst into tears just making eye contact.
This makes me think that maybe kindergarten won't be as
traumatic as I fear.
I've noticed a lot of things this week the least of which
being that time flies when you are having fun...and taking naps.
This morning, as I am searching for misplaced flip flops,
I feel the rush of regular life pulling at me.
Calendar dates are edging into my thoughts.
Deadlines to note and ideas to write down have me reaching for my pen.
But it's okay.
After a week away, it will be good to be back in Redwood City.
I am ready to hit the ground running....
or at least fast walking anyway.
It feels good to be heading back home.
I've noticed that, too.

good bangs fall book club giveaway

2011-08-12T05:20:00.000-07:00

We're three weeks out from our first ever virtual fall book club
reading My Bangs Look Good and Other Lies I Tell Myself:
The Tired Supergirl's Search for Truth.

I'll post on the first two chapters here on the blog
on Wednesday, September 7 and will meet
with the crew for an hour live chat on the My Bangs Look Good Facebook page,
Wednesday night at 7:00 p.m. pacific time.
(We will be done by 8 so we can all get our kids in bed!)
You are probably thinking,"What does that have to do with a giveaway?"
Good question!
Post a link to the tired supergirl blog
with a mention of the book club
and come back here and
put your name with a link to your blog in the comments
for a chance at winning
5 copies of the book for you and your friends
so you can join us in our Good Bangs book club.
These could be your friend next door,
your best friend from college who lives in Montana,
your land lady at the first apartment
building you ever lived in,
your hairdresser
or your small group leader.
Send me the address and they get a book!
Personally, I am a little excited to think that we will be
hanging out with folks from all across the country
talking about Jesus and lamenting our bad hair moments.
It's going to be good and I can't wait to see you there.
Giveaway ends Monday, August 22th. Winner announced August 23th.

moon river

2011-08-10T07:15:00.000-07:00

This past Saturday around 9 in the morning,
the Aughtmon crew loaded up on the California Zephyr
to make the 32 hour train trip from Emeryville, California,
to Denver, Colorado.
Brett and Jenny took off from the San Jose airport at the same.
At 11:00 Brett texted us that they were in Denver saying,
"We're here!" which really meant "Na-na-na-na-na-na,
see you in 30 more hours." or something like that.
We were taking in the scenic view of Sacramento at the time.
But we took the train on purpose.
Because we had to redeem the Train-tastrophe of 2009 when our December trip was marred by a flu bug,
a barf-o-rama and a distinct lack of Christmas joy.
The children were leary. Their memories of the train were grim at best.
But somehow we had to have the adventure we longed for the the first trip.
We had books. We had snacks. We had camoflage fleece blankets to curl
up under at night. We were ready.
The track between California and Colorado is both
breath-takingly beautiful and barren.
As we wound through the Sierras we kept saying, "Look at that!"
to each other as the pines towered over the train and traces
of gold rush ghost towns peeked out from behind bends in the track.
Then there was the vast nothingness of the Nevada desert
with its scrub brush and the jagged skyline of Utah's
high red buttes jutting up into the sky.
But this was nothing compared to the lushness of the Colorado
River, pouring over the crags of mountain rock,
its sparkling rapids rippling over rocks and riverbed,
cutting ravines into the rock and beckoning hordes of rafters.
It was a delight see it unfold as the train snaked along its
bends and followed its lead down the Rockies into Denver.
At least until we had lunch it was a delight.
At lunch we clamored into the dining car with its wide
windows and squeezed into a booth for four.
We can still do that since at least one child is small and bendable.
We were eating our sandwiches and gazing out
at the myriad of rafters and kayakers taking advantage of the river's fun.
When both Will and I caught sight of a young man in a delicate
position.
Back turned towards us and bottom up, I thought he had picked
an unfortunate place to tend to the call of nature.
As he unveiled a very large white behind to us, I yelled out,
"O My Goodness! What is going on?"
I may have scared a few of the diners. And I thought,
"Do people not know to hide behind a tree to do their business?"
Until Will pointed out, "Mom, he's smiling at us!"
And then it dawned on me,"He's not going to the bathromn.
He wants us to see his bottom."
These are the deep thoughts that come to me in moments of crisis.
And thus my sons were mooned for the very first time.
They took it as a high salute. They were thrilled.
They became animated and jovial, almost cheering.
As we passed, they wanted to go back
and see more of this teenager's bottom.
They thought that was the best thing they had witnessed all
trip long.
Not the vastness of the desert or the winsomeness of the mountain lakes.
Just the full view of a strangers un-ashamed backside in the wilderness.
And when it was announced on the train that mooning the train
is a regular occurrence among river rafters along this piece of track,
the boys were buoyed with hope.
It could happen again! All this greatness and nakedness
could be a thing of the future as well on the ride home.
That is when it all became clear.
In the eyes of my children, redemption was complete.
I won't have to urge or cajole them to get back on the train
when we head home.
The hope of another bare bottom sighting has done that for me.
As for me, I will be trying to keep my head buried in a book.
One moon is enough for me.

the good bangs fall book club

2011-07-30T22:15:00.001-07:00

Recently, I've had several readers e-mail me
and tell me how they have been reading
My Bangs Look Good and Other Lies I Tell Myself:
The Tired Supergirl's Search for Truth

by themselves or with a group of fellow tired supergirls and
how encouraging it has been to them,
how they need to know the truth that God has for them
no matter what their bangs look like.
As an author, this usually makes me weep profusely.
You know...I just put my head down on the keyboard and
have a good cry of thankfulness and at the realization
that there are other women out in this great wide world
that are just like me....
Christ followers, longing to know the truth, searching for freedom,
yearning for grace, who are unbelievably dangerous
with a pair of scissors when they are overdue for a hair cut.
All that being said....I was thinking how fantastic it would
be to share the truth, the laughter, the grace with one's friends.
And if all across these great United States there were small
enclaves of women reading the book,
chasing after the truth that Jesus has for them and laughing together.
So I'm launching the Good Bangs Fall Book Club.
(Sounds official, doesn't it?)
You can get 5 or more books through our website for $8 per book (plus s&h)
and for 12 weeks starting the week of September 5th,
we will go through the book 2 chapters a week.
Each Thursday I'll post a thought or two about the chapters,
(deep insights and hair cutting tips included)
and host an hour live chat on facebook to answer questions and
hang out with you, mull over the deep things of God and
hear your input about how he has shown you his truth.
If you have have already read the book or want to read it again with us
feel free to join in on the chatting, too!
The more the merrier, I say!

If you would like to a part of the Good Bangs Fall Book Club
either leave your e-mail as a comment here
or e-mail me at tiredsupergirl@gmail.com.

the war to end all water wars...until August anyway

2011-07-26T15:13:00.001-07:00

This past week my folks came to stay.
The time we had together seemed to fly by
and we had to pack the fun in.
We packed in ice cream, video games,
cousin time with the Moody's, church,
pizza from Pizza My Heart and an afternoon at the pool.
And then there was the water fight.
Will bowed out. He doesn't enjoy a good drenching.
But Jack and Addie and Grandpa were all in.
Jack and Addie squared off against Grandpa and his
formidable aquatic attacks.
There was strategizing and trickery, oversized nerf guns
and the filling of a plethora of water balloons.
There was rule making
(no squirting when your opponent when they are refilling their weapon)
and limit setting
(do not squirt the people who are taking pictures...
that was my limit that I set since I was the one with the camera.)
And then it was on.

At the end of it, everyone was smiling.
That is no small miracle.
There wasn't even a mini-break down...
except when the picture taker was turned on
by her own father and children and was forced to join the watery fray.

All in all, a lovely water fight for all.
We're going out to see my mom and dad in Colorado in a few weeks.
Don't tell my dad, but the guns are going with us.
Water war 2, here we come!

deep thoughts i've had this summer

2011-07-22T12:38:00.000-07:00

This summer is whizzing by at record speed.
We're over half way through July, for goodness sakes!
I feel the days slipping through my fingers like beach sand.
But I have definitely had some moments to think and ponder things.
Things of great import. Things that mean something.
And these are the deep and witty things that I have come to
believe this summer.
1. My green $2 flip flops from Old Navy go with everything.
2. My children, if given the chance, will eat me out of house and
home. And then move onto the neighbors like a swarm of locusts.
3. We never have enough time with family but when it comes around
it is only right soak it in and enjoy every second of it.
4. It's easier to become angry when you don't have air conditioning.
5. In accordance with the former statement, a $99 window unit is worth
every penny. And then some.
6. Butter doesn't hold up well in the heat.
(I told you...these are very deep thoughts.)
7. Video games are like crack to my children.
8. Nothing beats a good fat historical mystery
to escape for an afternoon.
9. It is okay to have ice cream everyday if it is hot or even
moderately cool outside. Because it is summer.
10. God is always at work...even when you don't know exactly what
he's doing.
11. Psalm 37 is a balm to the soul.
12. Dark chocolate from Trader Joe's is also a balm to the soul...
in a more fattening way.
13. Good friendships endure...despite distance and years.
14. If you yell out "Taco Bell" into the summer air,
your children will rise up and call you blessed.
15. Life feels better when you are surrounded by friends and good food.
16. Holding hands is still nice even after 14 1/2 years of marriage.
17. Hearing your children sing, even off key,
is one of life's great pleasures.
18. Life is full and that is a good thing.
One day it may be less full and then I'll be sad.
19. I will never be a contestant for So You Think You Can Dance but
I can embarrass my children by car dancing and that also brings joy.
20. Having a husband that makes you laugh is a gift.
21.If is unbearable hot in your house, your children will want to
touch you profusely. This is a given.
22. Making your own jam can lead to "jam-snobbery."
I'm okay with that.
23. The smell of coconut scented sunscreen makes me happy.
24. Going to sleep to the whir of a fan is a joy. It really is.
25. I need to have a dr. pepper.
That last thought just came to me right now.
I rarely have soda but every once in while you just need
a prune flavored carbonated beverage to celebrate a hot summer day.
Why don't you join me?

just a little excited about book #3....

2011-07-18T21:00:00.000-07:00

So it seems that book #3, due out April 1 2012,
is now available for pre-order....
(I may have squealed out loud like a small girl when my
mother-in-law called me and told me to look on Amazon...)
But I thought you would enjoy a peek at the cover.
It's my favorite.
Do you not love the green? And the apple? And the bite?
Did I mention it's available for pre-order?
And without further ado...voila!

Please join me in my excitement and eat an apple in Eve's honor.
Because I blame her and you can, too.

garage sale tales

2011-07-10T09:10:00.000-07:00

So yesterday my sister, Jenny, and I held our annual garage sale.
To clear through the detritus that seems to clog our houses
through out the year.
And let me just say, that garage sales attract all kinds.
The morning started out with a gentlemen arriving at our door at 6:30 a.m.
Our garage sale started at 8:00 a.m.
Some folks can get overly excited.
He was wanting old video games of which we had none.
Then he informed me that I really should put up signs...
that no one would know where the sale was.
I informed him back that I planned to put up signs....at 8:00.
(I am maybe a little grouchy at when caught off guard in my
driveway at 6:30 in the morning. Okay, I'm a lot grouchy.)
Then there was the lady who picked up the Flat Belly Diet Cookbook.
She wanted to know how flat my belly was and asked if I
could lift up my sweatshirt.
I obliged, having a t-shirt on underneath, and I must have passed
muster since she bought the book for 50 cents.
(I will admit to sucking in my gut before lifting my sweatshirt...
we do what we have to get a sale.)
Another lady tried on a bunch of t-shirts...on my front lawn.
Jenny and I saw quite a bit more of her belly than we hoped to.
I have never seen the trying on on the lawn before but apparently
it worked for her...she bought two shirts.
We also had a few people try to take us and
put the squeeze on us.
Even when we were bargaining with them.
Jenny and I have our limits.
Several times we invited people not to buy, if our prices
were too steep. (We sold almost everything for under $5.)
We were gracious and kind...and unmoved when they whined about it.
We can bargain only so far.
Even more fun were the items we gave away for free.
A baby swing to a family who had a 6 week old.
An overstuffed chair to a lady who was eye-ing it.
The small plastic basketball hoop for a small boy.
A car track to a little girl who was longing for it but
didn't have the cash.
Unexpected kindness has a way of making things
happy and light-hearted.
We sat back and laughed as we saw their joy.
But perhaps the most fun was watching the boys on the make.
Each boy had his own table cloth with books and toys that he
had picked to sell.
Jack started out the morning with a lady approaching him
about the bike he had outgrown.
She said it would be perfect for her grandson...
how much did he want for it?
Jack said for her to name her price since he didn't know.
I suggested $10. She shook her head, no, she said,
she was sure it was worth $20. Could he hold it for her
till she came back with her money?
I thought Jack would explode from sheer joy.
He made the highest sale of the day.
He spent the rest of the day enticing buyers
to come look at his wares.
He took an aggressive approach beckoning every customer
to his small patch of inventory.
Several times I looked over and saw grown men
inspecting Nerf guns and Hardy boy books.
Jack takes garage sales seriously.
Addison and Will also made a variety of sales, large and small,
lining their pockets with dollars and quarters.
By the day's end, each one was carrying a small white envelope
filled with their take.
Addison declared it the best day EVER.
How often does a 5 year old have $19 in his possession?
All in all, it was a day well spent.
And now I'm pretty sure that Jenny and I have one thing in mind.
Next weekend, it's our turn to go garage sale-ing.

summer reads

2011-07-07T11:22:00.000-07:00

I was talking to a friend the other day and
we were talking about what we were reading this summer.
I enjoy mysteries, historical fiction, biographies,
thrillers (if they are not too scary), and a little
romance can be nice but not too sappy please...
I don't need the sap.
And I said, "It's so hard to find good books."
And by good books, I mean books without language
that leaves one shocked and thinking,
"I didn't know you could put those words together to mean that!"
or sordid love scenes that make me want to wash my brain
or brutality that sears the mind with violent images,
or story lines that are so depressing that I want to go drown my sorrows in
a vat of chocolate.
Okay, I would just like a vat of chocolate anyway, books or no books.
But I do love me some good fiction.
I want to read books that inspire me, make me think,
make me laugh, make me cry
(not in a hopeless depressing way but in a "I love this story" kind of way)
and in short, offer a chance to escape into someone else's story.
And so here are 10 of my summer picks that meet (pretty much) the
"this is a good book" guideline.
1. The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie by Alan Bradley
2. Murphy's Law by Rhys Bowen
3. The Forgotten Garden by Kate Morton
4. The No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency by Alexander McCall Smith
5. Christie by Catherine Marshall
6. Maisie Dobbs by Jacqueline Winspear
7. A Trail of Ink by Melvin Starr
8. River Secrets by Shannon Hale
9. Here Lies the Librarian by Richard Peck
10. Home to Holly Springs by Jan Karon
So my question is, do you have any good reads for me this summer?
I would be forever in your debt.
Oh, and I'll take a vat of chocolate if you have that on hand, too.

pool days

2011-07-01T22:23:00.000-07:00

These last couple of days have felt like summer.
The summers of my childhood.
After swim lessons we have packed the boys into the van,
damp and smelling of chlorine, with bright eyes and pruny skin
and headed up to Scott's Mom's place.
She and my father-in-law, Dave,
live in a condo that has a fantastic pool.
They have given us the green light to come up as often as
we can this summer and we are taking them up on it.
Pink cheeked and brown shouldered,
the boys flee the van and head straight for the deep end.
Except for Addie.
Still learning to swim, he skirts the pool,
clinging to the side, egg beater-ing the water with his legs.
Yesterday, the Bondonno clan met us there.
Scott's sister, Cheri, my brother-in-law Kevin and their 3 kids,
Robert, Katherine and Brian swarmed the pool with us.
A pool full of cousins can only mean one thing...summer.
I remember swimming down at Uncle Carl and Aunt Joanna's house
the pool being full of Blakeleys, Dowdys, Inmans and Foths.
There were over 20 of us...I'm not sure if we were all in the pool
at one time but it felt like it.
We laid on the warm wood deck, ate popsicles
and drank up Uncle Carl's Diet Pepsi.
(Sorry, Uncle Carl, we owe you!)
The Modesto sun beat down on us as we swam and shouted.
The air smelled like dirt and ripe peaches.
And there was always a promise in the air of homemade ice cream
and the hope of staying up late, whispering under the covers,
waiting for the next day of summer to spill over us,
smiling on us in our fun.
And last night, as we feasted on corn chips and Chinese food
around a poolside table,
yells of Marco and Polo rippled out across the pool.
Shrieks of being chased and caught filled the air,
and it felt like coming home.
Now if only someone would make some homemade peach ice cream
we'd be set.

thank you for that, my loving son.....

2011-06-30T12:42:00.001-07:00

As I was making lunch this afternoon,
Addie came into the kitchen and sidled up to me,
leaning against my upper thigh.
He is my snuggler, prone to kisses and squeezes,
and I take them any way I can get them.
I was expecting some words of love and sweetness when
Addie looked up at me and said with affection,
"Mom, guess what?"
"What?"
"Chicken butt!"
"And guess who?"
"Who?"
"Chicken poo!"
With that he turned and left the kitchen.
Clearly, I am full to overflowing with gratitude for
his kind words and sentiments.
Clearly.
I am glad he feels free to share his heart felt emotions with me.
Maybe he will see his way clear later to ask me
"Why not?" and offer up some "chicken snot" for good measure.
I can only hope.

an unforgettable father's day...and not in a good way

2011-06-22T15:45:00.000-07:00

This past Sunday found me frazzled.
Nothing new there.
I am often caught off guard by holidays, birthdays, events,etc.
And here Father's Day had rolled around and
I was card-less and gift-less.
(this is no reflection on Scott who is a stellar dad...
just on me and my lack of organization at present.)
All this to say, Sunday morning found me zipping to Target
for a card and to Starbucks for a treat for Scott before
getting the house ready for our small group meeting at our house.
I thumbed through a lot of lame cards and then I found one
that said, I love you more than shopping, more than clothes,
blah blah blah and more than chocolate and Baby, that's a lot!
Happy Father's day to the best husband in the world.
or something to that effect and I thought,
"Perfect! Scott will be thrilled after all these years to know
that I do prefer him to chocolate."
(He may have doubted this on occasion.)
So I zipped back home. Had the boys sign their card. I signed mine.
Served up Scott his white mocha and blueberry muffin and voila!
It is a happy Father's Day after all.
Until Scott decided to read my card out loud while he was sipping his beverage.
He got to the line after "I love you more than shopping,"
and read out loud in front of the children....
"I love you more than bubble baths except when they're with you."
Which caused me to gasp in disbelief and say, "Are you kidding me?"
and caused my oldest son, Jack, to say, "Awkward!" in a sing song voice.
Scott started laughing. And Will and Addison began chanting in unison,
"Bubble Bath! Bubble Bath! Mommy! Daddy! Bubble Bath!"
I snatched the card from Scott and lo and behold it really did say that.
Really. I'm not kidding.
And at this point I started making disclaimers,
"I totally didn't see that line.I was in a hurry. Dear lord, I can't
believe it says that."
Which was followed by more chanting from the children,
more laughter from Scott and me saying,
"I DON'T EVEN TAKE BATHS! I TAKE SHOWERS!"
To no avail. The die had been cast.
For the last four days I have been hounded by my children saying,
"Bubble Bath" over and over to me. Because they can.
And they enjoy me screeching, "Will you stop saying bubble bath already?!"
The moral of this story?
Make your own father's day cards.
You will know what they say. Your husband will be touched by your creativity.
And your children won't be scarred for life thinking
about your bathing preferences.
And just for the record...I really don't like bubble baths.

bethany

2011-06-16T18:59:00.001-07:00

When I was 7 years old, my family moved from Illinois to California.
My sisters, Erica and Jenny, were 12 and 10 and my brother,
Chris was 5.
My dad went from being a pastor in a big college town
to being a president of a small Bible college.
We were uprooted from the cornfields of Illinois
and transplanted to a small campus in the middle of the redwoods,
10 miles from the beach.
And we kids hated it. Really.
We missed the sweet corn and the friends we had left behind.
But my parents were coming home. Both were Californians by birth.
And they had met at Bethany in the early 60's, both children of pastors,
embarking on their college adventure at Bethany Bible College.
We grew up on stories of Bethany lore.
How Uncle John had pranked people in the middle of the night,
flipping them out of their dorm bunks screaming, "The devil's gotcha!"
How Uncle Phil played basketball and wooed Aunt Lana.
How Dad traveled summers with the singing group, the Bethanaire's.
About Mom Swanson, who was the women's dean,
told Dad he should date Ruth Blakeley
because she carried herself like a queen.
(Way to go, Mom!)
And gradually, Bethany grew on us.
We became Bethany brats...running amok on the campus.
We played with other faculty and staff kids.
We went to basketball games in the gym cheering on the Bruins.
(I was enamored of the cheerleaders and their short skirts.)
We attended the Christmas concerts. (sweet mercy, they ran long!)
We played in the Redwood Bowl. (The outdoor amphitheater.)
We went to service in Craig Chapel
and played hide and seek in the library,
looking up pictures of our parents in the old yearbooks.
(Mom had sweet ratted hair and Dad actually had hair!)
And as the years slipped by,our view altered,
it wasn't just Mom and Dad's school.
It became our school.
The excitement of campus coming alive in the fall.
The flow of faculty and guest lecturers around our dinner table.
Students in and out of our lives, hearing their stories,
where they came from and where they were going.
Erica was the first to embark on her Bethany adventure.
Jenny was next.
Dad tried to get us to apply to different schools but to no avail.
I went. Chris went. A truckload of our cousins went.
We created our own lore. Pulled our own pranks.
(I was totally lame at pranks...
Chris went down in the annals
of Bethany history for shooting
the most unsuspecting students with a bb gun.)
We made our own life long friendships.
(My bffs, Barbie and Leslie's, were 2nd generation Bethany goers, too.)
We got our hearts broken there. A lot of bad poetry was written and
wept over in the back of the chapel.
We met our true loves there.
Scott kissed me for the first time on the night of JSB
in the half lit hallway near Professor Arnesen's office.
(My favorite Bethany memory)
My friend, Marie France and I became prayer partners there....
I still shoot her e-mails asking for prayer, lo, these many years later.
Countless hours were spent studying in the Stowell Center and even
more spent noshing at the Dining Commons...
or skipping out on questionable meals
at the Dining Commons for bean burritos at Taco Bell.
Bethany was the place that my relationship with Jesus became mine.
The good the bad and the ugly.
Our professors lived out their relationships with Christ in front of us.
Daring us to follow. And we did. Sometimes well. Sometimes not so well.
But in this place of nurture and academia and friendship and young adult angst,
I became me. I grew up to be me.
And this past week, the doors of Bethany University,
in its 93rd year, closed.
Operations ceased. Kaput. Shut down. It is no more.
And I am left collecting my memories.
Trying to remember every nook and cranny
of that place and that time and that girl who grew up there.
It makes me feel undone.
Like my personal history has become un-moored.
Mostly, I have not been able to dwell on it. Because it feels too big.
For the students who are losing their school
and the faculty and staff who have lost their livelihood.
For the alumni
who have lost that place to point to as the place that shaped them
and stretched them, grew them up and gave them a home for four years.
For the memories that used to be pinned to the address
800 Bethany Drive, Scotts Valley, California.
I know that everything has a beginning and an end.
But that doesn't mean I have to like it.
Mostly, I hate that Bethany is gone.
I have strong feelings about it if you haven't noticed.
But I know this.
Bethany University, its mission to reach the world for Jesus,
the rich friendships that it formed,
the dreams that were birthed at Craig Chapel's altar,
the conversations that changed lives and
the goals that were accomplished within it walls live on.
In the thousands of beating hearts
and working hands of those who love it most.
The faculty. The staff. The students. The alumni.
And one girl who will never be the same because of a small school
nestled in the heart of the Santa Cruz mountains.
I love you, BU.

the state of my eyebrows

2011-06-13T18:59:00.000-07:00

For some reason, I never learned to pluck my eyebrows.
I'm thinking someone should have sat me down in high school and said,
"You have some issues with your brows...
let me help you take care of them."
But I was well into my 20s before I thought,
"Wow, my eyebrows are taking on a life of their own...
and not in a good way."
So I began to have a non-committal relationship to eye brow plucking.
We were very on again/ off again, eyebrow plucking and me.
Which is sad for Scott since he notices unruly brows.
This causes some marital strife.
Because when life gets stressful my eyebrows bear the brunt of it.
When life is coming at me fast and hard, it is all I can do to breathe,
let alone focus on an errant brow line.
But I think this should actually help my marriage.
Scott should be able to look at my eyebrows and recognize my mental state.
A Nice Trim brow: Sue is doing well.
An overblown Brooke Shields brow: Sue is a little wild but still managing.
Frida Kahlo: Call Sue's counselor...it's time for an intervention.
These last few weeks of editing, last school days, and Scott's being out of town?
I may or may not have looked like Albert Einstein.
But we are finally coasting into the beginning of summer and things
are settling down.
So I finally took a moment to get my brows into shape the other day.
Scott smiled when he saw me come through the door.
I've have a nice arch to my brow going
and it seems my marriage is on the upswing.
Summer is looking up, girls, it really is.

you can help bring baby lydiah home

2011-06-06T16:15:00.000-07:00

My friend, Dorie, makes me laugh.
I met her at a pastor's wives retreat and she was the entertainment.
She does stand up. And she killed it.
She was doing her routine by the way 6 weeks after birthing
her third child and had brought the child with her.
Clearly, she is a rockstar. Her take on life as a mom had us rolling.
We were laughing and maybe even crying a little. With tears of joy, of course.
A few days ago she sent me this e-mail and I thought I would
pass it along to you.
Mom to mom. (Or mom to dad. Either works.)
Dorie wrote me saying,

I got connected with this family through my sister Missy's mommy group
(she goes to a mommy and me group for children with down syndrome
since my nephew has down syndrome) who have adopted a little boy with
down syndrome from an orphanage in the Ukraine. While they were there
last year, they saw a little baby girl named Lydiah that they felt the
Lord had also placed in their heart to adopt so they came back to the
U.S. and began the process to adopt her too!

They have completed the paperwork and all the details are in place,
but it is costly to adopt overseas because there are plane tickets to
be purchased and they need to stay in that nation for 6 weeks in order
to finalize the adoption before the child can be released so there are
costs involved there. The family borrowed a lot of the money to get
their son home quickly and cannot afford to do this adoption that way
again..they are raising all the funds this time. It has been 6 months
and they have raised close to $10,000, but are still in need of almost
$16,000. They are in desperate need of our prayers for finances as
time is of the essence...the government in the Ukraine is trying to
close adoptions to the U.S.! They really need to leave to get her
this month!

Tired supergirls, meet Lydiah!
Could she be any cuter? I don't think so!

So here at the tired supergirl blog, we have been invited to participate
in bringing Lydiah home to be with her family.
And I don't know about you but I would like to be a part of that.
If you would like to donate towards bringing Lydiah home.
They are hosting a giveaway at the Love For Little Lydiah blog.
By donating towards Lydiah's cause you are entered in a giveaway
for a chance to win a Kindle, a pearl ring, or $100visa gift card
for every $5 that is donated at:
Love For Little Lydiah by June 15!
It would also be great for you to pass this opportunity along to those you
know and put a link on your FB page or your blog.
I know for sure that Lydiah will appreciate it.

donut days

2011-06-05T22:36:00.000-07:00

Scott has been out of town for a conference
and let's just say that things have been a bit wild here on the home front.
I would like to tell you that I have it all under control
but I know the children would rat me out.
I woke up on Friday with 30 minutes to get my children dressed,
fed and to school before I had to be at work at Addie's preschool.
There was a lot of yelling and some bribery that went down.
"Get dressed! Brush teeth! In the car! We'll get donuts on the way!"
You have never seen the children move so fast and with such a
missional look in their eyes.
I could tell they weren't sure if I was lying about the donuts
and was going to pull out some shredded wheat at the last minute
but they moved quickly and were thrilled with me
when I ushered them into Lucky's bakery section.
Thrilled and chatty and gushing with love for me!
All because of donuts with sprinkles.
By God's good grace and his loving kindness, the children were dropped
off at school and I made it to work on time.
Praise his sweet name!
Then Saturday morning, our second day of flag football camp,
A late breaking email from coach said that due to rain,
we needed to dress the children in layers
and bring an extra set of shoes!
Which made me think do they EVEN have an extra pair of shoes?"
So I am in their closets whipping out 14 pairs of too small shoes,
digging through bins of outgrown clothes, and coming up with nothing.
A pair of pleather dress shoes for Addison to wear and
last summer's flip flops for Jack and Will.
And all the while time is ticking away. Quickly.
For the second morning in a row I am running late...
because clearly I am having issues, people.
(Mama is tired...that's all I can say.)
So for the 2nd morning in a row I am yelling at the children,
"Hurry! Sweats on! Sweatshirts! Shorts! Teeth!
And lastly but not least, "Donuts again!"
At this point, the boys knew I had lost my mind but they were going with it.
I,the mother who preaches the gospel of fruits and veggies and limited sweets,
am offering them...no...forcing them to eat donuts two days in a row?
Can life get any better? Richer? Sweeter? Clearly, it can't!
As we zoom down the street towards Lucky, our neighborhood donut dealer,
I throw bananas at the children and force them to eat them
pre-donut since I can hardly stand the severe
lack of nutrition I am offering them.
They were in a sugared state of bliss as we drove to practice.
(I, on the other hand, was racked with guilt and snacked on trail mix
trying to convince myself that in the grand scheme of things...
two consecutive days of pastry for breakfast
doesn't make me a horrible mother? Does it? DOES IT?)
Today's breakfast was leisurely and back on track....
peanut butter toast...fresh fruit...juice.
The children seemed a little deflated.
I am planning on scrambled eggs for tomorrow...
a little more protein to bring them down off of the sugar.
But I know in their heart of hearts,
the boys hope my alarm won't go off tomorrow.
That I will wake up with a minimum of time to get ready and
will be thrown into the chaotic mad dash of the last two days.
And that by some random aligning of the planets,
that I will call out into the early morning air, one more time,
"Donuts for everyone!"
And even though you may be disappointed in me,
and my lack of nutritional prowess, at this point in the game...
I'm not ruling it out.

and we have a new family photographer

2011-05-30T09:28:00.000-07:00

Addison has shown a creative flair for taking pictures.
He was on the move last night trying to catch life in the
Aughtmon home at it's most natural...most raw.
Here is his take on a kick back Sunday night at Chez Aughtmon....

Clutter by the front door.

The television tuned into an episode of Young Indiana Jones.

Dad on the phone.

Mom in the kitchen.

Uncle Brett looking gangsta.

Cousin Drew on the prowl.

Jack with his eyes rolled back in his head.

Will hamming it up.

And a daring self portrait...Addie's nostrils unedited.
Ansel Adams step aside.
Meet Addison Aughtmon.

some things I've been thinking about

2011-05-29T18:03:00.001-07:00

I got home Monday from a speaking trip out to Washington DC's
National Community Church.
Scott and I were on staff there 7 years ago with
Mark and Lora Batterson and Joel and Nina Schmidgall.
Each time we go back it feels like home.
A weekend spent in the midst of friends
makes it twice as fun.
I was welcomed with a basket of chocolate...tums and deodorant.
They know me well. Speaking tends to ramp up my nerves.
After speaking at a women's all comers night on Friday and
a mom's morning out with a full tea spread (delish!) that
put Martha Stewart on notice, we had a few afternoons of frolic.
There were pedicures, coffee from Ebenezer's Coffee House
and dinners out with Lora and Nina.

Needless to say, the Lord ministered unto me, yea verily.
And he also ministered to me on Sunday when Joel spoke at Ballston.
(NCC has 7 locations in different theaters.)
Joel spoke on anguish.
How Jesus chose to walk into anguish to do the will of the Father.
And how most of us choose to not walk into anguish.
We just want to be comfortable and happy.
That was kind of mean of him to say....and mostly true.
Mostly, I would much rather walk into Target than into anguish.
I don't often bend myself towards Christ's suffering.
I try to stick to the side of joy.
But it seems that often we don't get to partake of God's joy until
we join him in letting our hearts break for the world around us.
He ended the message with a recording of David Wilkerson calling us
to let God move us to anguish.
David Wilkerson said a few mean things to us, too, like that we
are pampered and show concern for things but rarely let the
Holy Spirit baptize us with a heart of brokenness.
Let me just say that more than a few of us were doing the ugly
cry by the end of the recording.
Because it was powerful and it was true and the Holy Spirit
convicted me on a thing or twelve.
Like about not praying for my children with a passion like I should.
For putting my own comforts before my desire to do God's will.
And for not seeing those around me who don't know Jesus the way
that God's sees them...as his lost kids who need some help finding him.
It gave me a lot to think about on the flight home.
It made me think that I need my mind to be renewed
so that I think more like Jesus.
That I need a shifting of how I look at things and how I am spending my time.
And a re-assessment of how I am anchoring myself in this world.
And then at the same time, I was also awash with thankfulness.
For God's good grace and mercy in spite of my daily inadequacies.
For friends who I share history and laughter with.
And mostly, for my boys, all four of them,
who were waiting for me at the end of my trip.
It's looking to be an interesting summer on all fronts....
I'll keep you posted.

i've been enjoying a funny 5 year old lately

2011-05-17T22:16:00.000-07:00

Five year olds are like cheese...
they just get better and better with age...or stinkier...or both.
And lately, my third son is coming into his own.
It is a pleasure to watch him stretch his wings,
forming his take on things.
I am enjoying hearing his thoughts on life.
Take for instance yesterday.
We found out Jack is overdue for two shots.
Jack quickly asked,
"Do I have to get the stinging kind like Addie had?"
"Nope, no tetanus," I said.
Jack looked relieved.
Addie piped up, "Jack, my shots hurt really bad.
It felt like they were sticking needles into my arms..."
Jack and I said, "Addie, they WERE sticking needles in your arms."
He looked completely shocked and then squinched up his eyes at us and said,
"Say what?"
Jack and I couldn't stop laughing.
Addie joined in...and then proceeded to repeat,
"Say what?" at least 5 more times.
He has learned from his father that if it is funny once
then by all means, keep repeating it.
I could take a dose of sweet Addie funniness all day.
Lucky for me I get to.

sometimes days turn out better than you think they will

2011-05-09T14:40:00.000-07:00

Today was one of those red letter days in my youngest son's life.
It was Addie's day for his kindergarten physical.
This means one thing...shots.
I have no fondness for shots...for me or anyone else.
But I enjoy living without disease so I go with them.
So this morning I told Addie, "We're getting your shots today, buddy."
And he said,"Do we get to go to Target for a prize?"
And I said, "Yep!"
Because I am a firm believer of prizes if you endure pain
and my children know this. They bank on it, in fact.
He said, "Can I have hot chocolate, too?"
And I said, "Maybe."
"And a scone?"
The boy knows how to work his mother.
"We'll see."
We made it through the doctor's appointment with flying colors.
He is healthy and can see and hear...clearly, he is brilliant.
Then we went to the room...the one with the NEEDLES.
4 of them to be exact.
I held Addie on my lap. The nurse did her swift and deadly duty.
Addie was stoic until the last shot after the nurse polka dotted
his small arms with circlular bandaids.
Then his small face crumpled.
He stood up and leaned the full length of
himself into my arms and wept.
I got a bit teary myself.
"Mom," he said, "That was SO pokey!"
And I agreed, "Yes, it was."
I hugged him close...and thought bad thoughts about the nurse
to make myself feel better.
We made it out to the car, holding hands, Addie still teary.
And then we decided we had better go to Pizza My Heart
since it is Addie's favorite and clearly, warm cheese makes everything better.
Even shot pricked arms.
Somewhere amidst the pepperoni and sips of soda,
his sunny disposition was restored.
Carbonated beverages can do that for 5 year old boys.
We chatted about preschool and about why he doesn't like
ranch on his carrots. The important things in life.
"Mom," he said, "This is the best day ever."
I agreed. Shots and all.
And we hadn't even gone to Target yet.

i like being a mom

2011-05-05T11:49:00.000-07:00

I've spoken many times of copious amounts of cleaning
that accompany motherhood,the dailiness of life,
the errant flu bugs upend weekend plans
and the smells that emanate from my sons shoes.
Being a mom is not for the faint of heart.
We are a strong minded, no nonsense, get 'er done type of crew.
But every once in a while I am caught off guard by
the loveliness of being a mom.
My sons disarm me with their sweetness,
their soft hearts, their creativity, their love.
Quick side hugs.
A soft, "I love you, Mom" whispered into my hair.
Pictures penned with me in mind.
A snuggle on the couch while we read or watch tv.
I soak these things up...pondering them in my heart, as it where.
The other night I heard some whispering in the hallway
and Jack and Addison ventured into the backyard while
Will did his homework at the table.
I was icing my back on the couch, one of my favorite activities
these days.
And lo and behold, in came my boys, with fistfuls of flowers
from our newly blooming backyard.
"Happy Mother's Day, Mom," they said.
"We wanted it to be a surprise."
Will did not want to be left out.
He added his own bouquet.
Jack painstakingly arranged the flowers in mugs and added
peppermint, stalks of lavender and Japanese maple cuttings for effect.
I was overwhelmed. Because of their unprompted thoughtfulness.
I may have gotten a bit teary. They are used to it.
They know mom cries a lot. Especially about good things.
I'm weird like that.
I can't help thinking despite the bad smells and endless laundry....
there is nothing I would rather be than a mom.

it could be a hot summer

2011-05-02T10:57:00.000-07:00

My son, Addison, has a thing for textures.
He loves touching anything that is soft or fluffy or
squishy.
He has offended several children at his preschool by
touching their hair or rubbing their ear lobes without permission.
Clearly, he hasn't learned about personal boundaries yet.
Yesterday it was my turn to be offended.
The sun was out. The air was warm.
It was time to pull the shorts out of winter hibernation.
I was laying on my bed reading a book when Addison came
and accosted my bare calves.
"Oh,Mom!" he said, squeezing my skin, "I love your chuvvy, chuvvy legs!)
(chuvvy chuvvy = chubby chubby)
"They are so squishy and bouncy. Like a trampoline!"
I promptly sent him out of the room calling after him,
"Don't touch mommy's legs!" in a high shrieking tone.
I was shocked and wounded and appalled. And shocked.
Squishy and bouncy?
Just thinking about it makes me tense up my calf muscles.
Someone needs to teach that kid that if you don't have something
nice to say than don't say anything at all.
Until that happens, I will be wearing pants.

song for the day

2011-05-01T14:32:00.000-07:00

I have been wearing this song out all morning.
I love the words. I love the picture of what God desires of us.
Thanks, Nichole Nordeman!

wills and kate are going to have to get married without me

2011-04-28T20:18:00.000-07:00

There has been a whole lot of hype about the upcoming royal wedding.
It is sure to be romantic and larger than life.
There will be diamonds and carriages and men in spats.
That is not something you see everyday.
I was still in elementary school when the last royal wedding took place.
My sisters and I got up in the wee ungodly hours of the morning
to watch Princess Dianna and Charles get married.
I remember sleeping in front of the tv in a nylon sleeping bag
and Erica setting the alarm for us to wake up.
I remember the alarm going off, reaching for my glasses and
watching Diana unfurl her train for miles as she got out of the carriage.
It was magical. Every little girl's dream.
Princess dress. A prince. A castle. Seriously.
Do you know what every girl's dream is at my age?
A full 8 hours of sleep and a dvr to record the ceremony.
Because I am telling you that if I get up at 1 am tomorrow morning
to watch the wedding, the fallout is not going to be pretty.
Eye bags, semi-nauseous, gravelly voice, and miss cranky pants attitude
are sure to be present.
No one wants that.
There would have to be a 3 week recovery period with extra daily naps
required for that much sleep loss.
So that being said, I am a romantic at heart and I still want to celebrate.
One doesn't see a commoner become royalty everyday.
Kate is living the fairytale.
So in honor of William of Wales and his lovely bride,
as soon as I rise, I will be brewing a hearty cup of earl grey tea with milk
and watching the re-cap of the royal nuptials.
If you also need your beauty rest, please join me
in raising a piping hot mug of tea to the lovely couple.
Say around 8:00 in the morning. Or noon.
Whichever works for you.

dc here I come!

2011-04-27T12:10:00.000-07:00

Some of our funnest years were when Scott was on staff with Mark and Lora Batterson
at National Community Church in Washington DC.
Jack was 2 and Will was an infant.
I was trying to navigate motherhood....come to think of it...
I'm still working at that one out.
The church was just launching into multi-sites,
80% of the church were 20-30 year old singles and
we were some of the oldest people on staff.
I remember a 20 something girl telling me,
"We need older people like you here that we can look up to."
I believe I was 32 at the time.
Clearly, I was full of all manner of age old wisdom at that point in my life.
But what we loved most were are relationships that formed with
the staff and friends in the church.
They anchored us.
There cannot be a stronger friendship glue than laughing together,following Jesus,
and trying to do something collectively in His name.
Unless maybe you throw in surviving a cicada invasion, weekly park playgroups, lamenting sleepless nights and gassy babies over cups of coffee,
and bonding over less than moments in the ministry...that was a part of it too.
So you have to know that it is more than a little surreal to be
going back this month to speak at a women's event at NCC.
Not just to meet up at a park to let the kids run amok but
talk about Jesus and life and how much he loves us.
It's all coming full circle, people.
I can't wait to see the NCC girls and drink some coffee at Ebenezer's and
chat with Lora and Nina and of course, laugh.
Sometimes God sees fit to order our lives in a way that fills us up
with fellowship and girl time and laughter.
even when public speaking and sweat gland issues are involved.
There is nothing better than that.
Unless maybe you can do it all while drinking a non-fat iced mocha from Eb's.
Now we're talking.

sitting is my kryptonite

2011-04-26T15:56:00.000-07:00

My back and I are still at odds these days.
I have tried to tell it,
"Could you please return to your former state of un-ouchiness?"
It has responded in no uncertain terms saying, "No can do."
So I am working around my backs limitations.
I am good with walking and laying down but sitting down
is a non-negotiable.
I never realized how much I loved sitting down until I couldn't
do it anymore.
I do a lot of reclining these days. At home. At work. At church.
Just last week at the preschool,
my friend Jenn told the kids at circle time,
"Every body needs to sit criss cross applesauce on the carpet."
And one of the kids ratted me out saying,
"Teacher Jenn! Teacher Sue is laying down!"
You can't put anything past those kids.
I have become a big fan of bench seating in restaurants.
I take up a full side of the booth reclining like Cleopatra.
Scott tells me, "People are looking at you."
And I say, "I don't care." And I don't because I will
never see them again and eating at restaurants is always more
fun than eating at home.
We were at a church for a denominational meeting and
I found a couch out in the lobby near the balcony that
I claimed as my own dominion.
By claimed, I mean I was laying down, feet up, knees bent,
head thrown back as I watched the service on a monitor close by.
A group of guys who had sung in a choir during the service
were hanging around my couch inner sanctum.
When the service ended and I got up, one of the guys said, smiling,
"You love that couch, huh? You all layin' down on it...chillin'...."
I told him, not really smiling, "I hurt my back."
Still smiling, he said, "Awright! Awright!"
I know he was thinking,
Who is this crazy white chick that lays down in church?
But I tried not to let it bother me...
because I had to find Scott so we could go out with
our friends to Chili's.
I was looking forward to laying down to eat some chips and salsa.
I'm not letting the sitting thing hold me back.
When it comes to chips and salsa,
a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.

it just keeps getting better

2011-04-20T07:40:00.000-07:00

It seems that spring is upon us here in Redwood City.
The trees are budding. Flowers are beginning to bloom.
Pollen is wafting on the air causing copious amounts of tissue use.
My 5 year old, Addison, is at the mercy of the pollen.
His eyes itch, he sneezes like crazy
and he snores like my Grandpa Blakeley used to
(so loud he wakes himself up) when he tries to sleep at night.
His eczema has started to flair up, cracking his skin and he is,
in short, miserable.
So we went to the doctor. And he gave us no less than five treatments
for Addison to use daily...allergy overkill.
But Addie was excited...he thinks medicine is like liquid candy.
We decided to go Taco Bell while we waited for his prescriptions
Taco Bell is Addison's idea of fine dining.
He was thrilled.
As we were in the car, he started talking about our weekend and
Addie was saying that he was sad that his cousin Drew (17 mos)
only comes over on Sundays for church and not other days.
To which I answered him, "Guess what? Drew is coming over this afternoon!"
Addison could not contain himself any longer, he burst forth in joy,
"This is the best day ever!
I get medicine, soda, a chicken quesadilla and Drew!"
Clearly, one can not top a day of allergy relief, fast food and
a visit from a cousin.
His simple joy was contagious.
I joined in with him with a whoop of delight.
Who can fathom what the rest of spring can hold for us?
It just keeps getting better and better.

my bangs look good spring giveaway winners

2011-04-19T21:14:00.000-07:00

And the winners (courtesy of random.org) are......
Here are your random numbers:

1 6 3 4 2
Timestamp: 2011-04-20 04:18:46 UTC

Commenter #1 Miss Mandie
Commenter #6 Kwertz 12
Commenter #3 Elizabeth
Commenter #4 Chris
Commenter #2 Lisa

Congratulations! Email me your address at tiredsupergirl@gmail.com so
I can get your books off to you!

my bangs look good bff spring giveaway

2011-04-15T08:43:00.000-07:00

It has been a while since we have done a giveaway around here.
Mostly because the person who writes this blog is just way to busy.
I wish she could get her act together....
But realistically, I do scattered and frazzled really well...
I almost have it down to a fine science.
It might ruin the order of the cosmos if I really got organized.
All that to say, spring has sprung, Easter and Mother's Day
are approaching and I always feel like spring is a time of celebrating.
So that being said, I have 5 sets of books to give away of
My Bangs Look Good and Other Lies I Tell Myself:
The Tired Supergirls Search for Truth.
1 for you and 1 for your bff.

Leave your bff's name in the comments that you want to get the book for.
"Like" My Bangs Look Good on Facebook or
link to this post on your blog or fb page for extra entries
in the giveaway -
just make sure to mention that in your comment, too.
Winners will be picked at random and announced at 9:00 p.m. Wednesday, April 20.

a bonbon mother's day

2011-04-14T07:51:00.000-07:00

So you know that I love Bonbon Charms.

They are little pieces of joy that hang around your neck
that remind you of how lovely and full your life is.
And Mother's Day is coming up and you may need to order
this for your mom

or this for your sister

or this for yourself.

So many charms....so little time.
Just make sure you order by April 26th so you can wear your
little piece of joy on Mother's Day.
If you order by Friday April 15, you can use the discount code
ILOVEMOM for $20% off!
Bonbon Charms just got a little sweeter!

washing feet

2011-04-13T08:23:00.000-07:00

This last Sunday our Sunday school lesson was about the last supper.
Sometimes I forget that before Jesus broke the bread and drank the wine
that he had got down on his knees and washed the feet of the
men who loved him most.
And I'm pretty sure those were some smelly stinky fisherman and tax
collector feet that he got his hands on.
One more time he wanted to show them how his whole purpose was
to love and serve these men, and he wanted them to follow suit
when he left.
We only had 7 kids in Sunday school. 5 boys and 2 girls.
I brought out a bowl of water, doused with a liberal amount of
lavender epsom salts and explained what Jesus had done and what we
were going to do.
From word one, there was a resounding "no" from the two girls.
One said, "My mom said we are not supposed to wash boys feet."
And I had to respect that. Because it is important at the age
of 9 that the cootie barrier is not breached...not even on the Lord's day.
But the boys were game. And as Jack had his feet washed by Max
(who was all for washing
but not in favor of having his own feet washed),
Drew (17 mos) launched Star Wars action figures into the bowl.
He was in favor of some folks getting baptized along with having
their feet washed.
There was some giggling, some swashing of water and washcloth and
some comments on how the lavender smelled really good.
Washing feet can make us feel uncomfortable...
I think because someone is touching your toes and rinsing
of the lint your socks leaves behind.
It's personal and really both people have to be willing to
be in a position of humility.
One has to let their stinky feet see the sun and the other
has to be willing to touch the stinky feet.
But I love Peter's response in the Bible, after he rejects
Jesus attempt to wash his feet.
When Jesus says, "If you don't let me wash your feet, than you
don't have any part of me."
Peter says,"Then I'll take a bath!" (sue paraphrase)
I think that is what I'm going into this Easter season thinking.
It is too overwhelming to think of what Christ did for me, for you,
laying his body down, picking up our sins, breathing his last breath
so we could live, let alone thinking about him serving us,
washing our feet.
I feel like Peter. I'm not deserving of his touch in my life.
I know who I am.
But if I want in on His love, I take it for what it is.
All that forgiveness and mercy and grace overwhelming me.
With Jesus it is all or nothing.
There can be nothing half hearted in our following.
Either we let him do all he wants to do in our livesm,
washed feet and all,
or we miss out on his goodness, his extreme love poured out on us.
So I am in. Shoes off, pants rolled up,
my life exposed in all its lint covered funk.
Overwhelmed by his willingness to touch me and change me and
shape me into who he designed me to be.
Even without lavender epsom salts.

the 6 requirements to be a good mom

2011-04-07T15:56:00.000-07:00

I was talking to my friend, Leslie, the other day.
We were lamenting the fact that we often feel
like we are coming up short in the mom department.
That we are not the supermom we hope to be and that is disappointing
to both us and our kids.
I believe the real problem is that we have unrealistic motherhood goals...
we think we have to be a marathon running, birthday cupcaking,
homework brainiac, organizationally superb, philanthropic,
soda bottle recycling, emotionally stable, theologically sound,
sous chef, nutritionist, child psychologist type of woman
to be considered a good mom.
I decided that what we really need to do
is revamp our expectations of what it takes to be a good mom.
And maybe we should be just a touch more realistic
in what we require of ourselves..
So here goes.

To be a good mom you need to:

1. Be a girl.
2. Have a child.
3. Remember the child's name.
(Or a name that sounds like their name...
Bobby and Robby are interchangeable, as are Cindy and Mindy.)
4. Feed the child.
(You can use the traditional 4 main food groups:
or Buddy the Elf's 4 main food groups:
candy, candy canes, candy corns and syrup.)
5. Provide the child with clean underwear.
(If they don't wear it, clearly, that is on them.)
6. Give the child lots of love and hugs and kisses.
(This one is non-negotiable.)

I believe I have taken the requirements down to the bare minimum.
Now as we compare ourselves to this list, we will find out the truth.
WE are a rockstar moms and our children are blessed to have us.
We can bask in the glow of that for at least 14 seconds or until we
have to go make dinner...whichever comes first.

it's called a deadline

2011-03-31T16:24:00.000-07:00

You know things are not as they should be
when your 10 year old can no longer fit into his
pants and you didn't notice.
Just last night Jack said, "All my pants are too small."
And I scoffed at him and said, "I cannot believe none of your pants fit."
So I made him do a fashion show of all of his too small pants.
And it wasn't that they didn't just fit it was more like he was
trying on clothes for a Lilliputian.
And I thought, how could all his pants fit last week and this week
his jeans look like knickers?
And then I thought, sadly, things go by the wayside when I am on deadline.
Things like pants that fit and good nutrition and bathing.
I walked into my house this afternoon and smelled "boy".
Smelly socks, ripe fruit and a hint of bathroom.
I felt a little gag coming on so I lit some candles.
Tonight is my last night to finish my manuscript before I send it off
to my editor.
We all are ready for it. Me. Scott. And my kids.
Addie wanted to cuddle with me last night and I said,
"I would love to cuddle but I have to finish writing."
He looked at me with a look that said, "And you call yourself a good mother?"
At the moment? Not so much.
So I am off to finish the manuscript so that my children will once again
look at me with love and affection and so I can eradicate the warm cheese
scent I have going on in my house.
And from the smell of things, that can't be soon enough.

chocolate chip scones

2011-03-25T10:17:00.000-07:00

I got a request to post the scone recipe.
These are a favorite treat of our family.
My good friend, Elizabeth, made these for me with
homemade jam (without the chocolate chips).
That was about 15 years ago!
I've been making them ever since.
2 C flour
1 T baking powder
1/4 C sugar
1/2 butter
1 C buttermilk
1 C chocolate chips

Mix dry ingredients
Cut in butter with pastry cutter until crumbly.
Add in buttermilk. Sitir.
Add chocolate chips.
Line a cookie sheet with foil. Spray with cooking spray.
Form dough into a 1" thick circle on cookie sheet.
Cut into either 8 or 12 pie shapes pieces.
Seperate on cookie sheet.
Bake at 400 13-15 minutes or until golden brown on the bottom.

birthday baking

2011-03-24T21:26:00.000-07:00

This week both Addison and Jack have birthdays.
Tomorrow is both of their class parties.
Which means tonight I am baking cupcakes and scones.
Chocolate cupcakes with chocolate frosting for Addie and
Chocolate chip scones for Jack.
You can see there is a chocolate theme here.
Someone has raised these boys right that's all I have to say.
But I thought you might need the recipe for the chocolate sour cream
frosting for the cupcakes.
Because it is so right it is almost wrong.
And if all else fails and the cupcakes don't rise,
there is nothing wrong with going to town with a spoon.
Not that I have...okay, I have.

Chocolate Sour Cream Frosting
1 C semisweet chocolate chips
1/4 C butter
1/2 C sour cream
2 1/2 C powdered sugar

Melt chocolate and butter in sauce pan over low heat stirring frequently.
When melted, remove from heat and cool for 5 minutes.
Stir in sour cream.
Mix in powdered sugar until smooth. (I use a whisk.)
And enjoy!
With cupcakes
Or strawberries
or bananas
or apples
or crepes
or animal crackers...
or you know....a spoon.

interesting dinner conversation

2011-03-21T20:51:00.000-07:00

Jack has started memorizing Greek gods
since reading the Percy Jackson book series.
He has memorized 51 so far...just for fun.
Tonight he came to me in the kitchen as I was cooking dinner and said,
"Mom,do you know who the most painful Greek god is ?"
And I said, "No. Who?"
He said, "Ilithyia, goddess of childbirth," with a smirk on his face.
(He is all knowing in these things since he is almost 10 now.)
I told him, "They have drugs that can help with that now, Jack.
When the doctor gave me mine,
I told Dad if I wasn't married to him already,
I would have married that guy."
Jack and I laughed.
But Will who was listening in on the conversation looked concerned.
"Mom, who would you marry?"
I looked into Will's worried eyes and said, "Will, I was just kidding.
There is no one else on earth that I would want to be married to.
Your dad is my most favorite person in the world!"
Will paused and then questioned me, "Even though he's inappropriate?"
(I often feel Scott enjoys the boys gross conversations more than they do!)
Without batting an eye I said, "Yes. Even though he's inappropriate."
Will smiled and relaxed.
Once again, all was right with the world.

i still have control issues but i'm learning things

2011-03-17T09:22:00.000-07:00

It only takes a few mishaps to break this girl down
but these last two months have been like a slow trickle
of mini-plagues that have worn me down to the nubbins.
I don't really know what nubbins actually are
but I like how it sounds.
It started off with a slow demise of household items...
leaks in two faucets, break down of the bathroom fan
(don't underestimate the importance of a bathroom fan....)
electrical problems in the back bedroom...etc.
This was followed by a discovery that we had a infestation of moths
in our closet...moths we have never seen but which managed to make
both of Scott's suits look like swiss cheese.
The same day we discovered we were a safe haven for moths everywhere,
one of the disks in my back decided to bulge.
Which has never happened before and I pray,
Dear Jesus, don't let it happen again.
For the last 6 1/2 weeks my couch and I have been best friends.
You would be proud of me though because when the spine specialist
told me it could take 3 months to heal I waited until I got out
into the car before I burst into tears.
(The drugs I am on may or may not lead to emotional outbursts.)
This has been dealt with by drugs and physical therapy.
Physical therapy being traction
(similar to the medieval torture device called The Rack)
where they stretch my spine using a hip harness and weights
and give that little disk some breathing room.
(Don't bulge, little disk, relax and go back where you belong!)
At home in bed I became convinced we had bedbugs since I found
a tiny black bug crawling on me while I convalesced.
This led to vast perusing of the internet,
species identification on line (not a bedbug) and tucking the dead
specimen in a baggy for further viewing and consideration.
I also have thrown back the covers and yelled, "AHA!" only to find
some random pieces of lint and an abandoned sock.
(The drugs I am on may or may not lead to paranoia)
All the while I have been editing this last book laying on my back
with a very handy apparatus that allows my laptop to perch above me.
After 1 month of editing it is all I can do to read my own words
without derision.
(The drugs I am on may or may not lead to depression.)
And then I caught a flu bug or had a terrible reaction to the drugs
I was on this weekend and was laid out calling out unto the Lord.
(The drugs I am on may or may not cause nausea.)
All of this to say that when it rains, people, it pours.
If ever my control issues have been put to the test it has been
in these last two months.
I am thinking that God would like to know if I can live out
what I write about.
Do I really believe He is in control?
Can I trust my life to him when it doesn't go the way I want it to?
Do I believe that He has my best interests at heart?
Am I aware that He is with me and knows my circumstances?
Or do I throw a pity party?
I am great at pity parties.
(I told Scott on the one month anniversary of my bulging disk
that I was going to feel sorry for myself for 5 minutes.
I think he rolled his eyes. I think he would like for me to
not feel sorry for myself for 5 minutes.)
I could not answer yes to all of these things all of the time
but I found myself wanting to be able to.
I have found myself praying more.
And asking that God would help me.
And even asking real people to help me.
Which is big for me since I like to pretend I can do
everything without help.
I have a sneaking hunch that God doesn't mind when we become undone,
shaken loose from our carefully laid out plans...
forced to see our own fragility and dependence on him.
It helps us get honest with ourselves and others and especially him.
I read Isaiah 40 speaking of God's greatness and his sovereignty and
our smallness and one verse in particular stuck out to me.
It said, "It is God who sits above the circle of the earth..."
And it struck me that I am thankful that he is there, that he is so
large, and powerful and wise and great.
Even when I feel helpless and teary and hopped up on meds.
That the things that loom large to me (deadlines, back pain, laundry)
are small to him...a piece of cake...completely within his ability.
And I can anchor myself in the knowledge that he knows what he is
doing and he loves me.
And that is no small thing.

the invitation dilemma

2011-03-15T10:58:00.000-07:00

Addison is turning 5 in 2 weeks.
It is his year for a big party.
One would think it would be easy to decide who to invite.
Not so.
Addison is very specific about who he wants to invite.
I asked him, "Should we invite your preschool class?"
"No."
"Should we invite the kids from church?"
"No."
"What about your friends from Jack and Will's school?"
"No."
After an long arduous process over a two day span
we had one invitation left to assign...
"What about Antonio?"
"No. He hits me when I touch his hair."
"Well, don't touch his hair."
"But it's so curly!" as if that gives him license to invade
Antonio's personal hair space.
"What about some of the kid's from teacher Lynda's class?"
"No. Oh, wait....there is that one girl with the white sweater."
My head could explode at any moment.
"What girl with the white sweater?"
"And the purple shirt."
"Addie, they all wear purple shirts...they have uniforms."
"She has dark hair."
Still drawing a blank on my end.
"She wears her hair in a ponytail....it's like a waterfall."
Excuse me...did my almost 5 year old son just describe a girl
with hair like a waterfall?
And is there a poetic gleam in his eye?
Why is he smiling so big?
I am so not ready for this....
"Are you sure you don't want to invite Antonio."
"Yep," he grinned.
Alright...girl with the waterfall hair it is....
Pray for me.

light a candle

2011-03-14T10:52:00.000-07:00

Last Friday, I called my mom and told her that Scott's Grandma Alice,
had fallen and received a hairline fracture in her pelvis and then while
at the hospital, tried to get out of bed and fell and broke her leg.
Granny (as we call her) had to have surgery on her leg
and during the course of her hospital stay suffered a mini-stroke.
Granny has had a rough week to say the least.
Not to mention that she is pretty ticked off about being in the
hospital in the first place.
So I said to Mom, "Can you light a candle for Granny and pray for her?"
To which she said, "Yes, of course."
Last year when the earthquake happened in Haiti,
my mom took to lighting a candle on her kitchen counter top.
Every time she would pass by it through out the day it would remind her
to pray for those who were hurting and desperate in Haiti.
It's a habit that has taken. It would be safe to say with all
that is going on in the world and in life,
that mom's candle is lit more often than not.
We have been watching coverage of the earthquake and tsunami
in Japan this whole weekend.
It is horrifying and heart wrenching to see all at the same time.
It is too much for us to take in that whole villages are gone and
families have been rent apart
and millions of people are in need of clean water and housing.
More than once I have caught myself praying while watching the news,
praying for sons and daughters to be found,
praying for those stupid aftershocks to stop (I hate aftershocks!)
and praying for the Holy Spirit to be only what he can be...
a comfort in the face of such great loss.
So this morning I lit a candle. Make that 5 candles.
One in each room of the house.
Scott is concerned that I am trying to start a house fire.
But I want to remember to pray without ceasing today...
for those who need it so much.
And we are putting feet to our prayers as well.
My friend, Marty, is organizing a candle/bake sale for our church,
this Sunday, to raise money for the relief effort there
We may not be able to set foot on Japanese soil,
but i think with baked goods and a winged prayer,
Jesus can take what we offer and multiply it out...
cookies and candles are not so different from loaves and fishes.
So if you think of it, grab a tea light or left over taper from Christmas,
and say a prayer to the One who can heal on behalf of those he loves in Japan.
And if you think about it, you can mention Granny, too.

ps if you would like to give to a relief organization but don't know
of a good one here are three that all outstanding
Convoy of Hope
The American Red Cross
World Vision

the newly revised updated and spectacular league of tired supergirls (and guys) list

2011-03-11T19:51:00.000-08:00

Here is the newly updated list of fantastic blogs
of those folks who consider themselves tired super girls (or guys).
If you would like your blog to be included
just leave your blog's link in the comments.

All The Mus
Because Life is Like a Bowl of Marbles
Bizzie Lizzie
Books and Boys
Bonbon Blog
But Now I See
Bwildered
Caroline’s Thoughts
Ceaseless Praises
Confessions of a Working Mom
Courageous Mommy
Crocuses in March
Elemental Children’s Ministry
Em's Xanga
Eternity Driven
Finding Beauty
Free For Faith
Girly Muse
Glimpses and Ponderings
Holly’s Hobbie
If This Couch Could Speak
Immeasurably More
In My Secret Place
In the Midst
It’s How You Live
Journey of an Astromom
Julie Verner
Just a Southern Girl
KO
Leaving a Legacy
Little White Schoolhouse
Love Well
LuluPatina
Makin' it 'Write'
Moddy’s Thoughts, Prayers and Adventures
Mommy vs. Army of 5
More Than Mom
My Freshly Brewed Life
My Twenty Cents Keeps Moving
Paula’s Page
Pens and Needles
Rice Cereal Sucks
Simplifying Me
Snippets and Tangents
Strawberry Cake
Sugarnuggets
Tales of a Soccer Mom
The Douglas Drama
The Leaking Window
The Sky is Only Dark Between the Stars
This Silly Blog Thing
Thoughtful Meanderings
Vibrant Living

thoughts on lent

2011-03-11T13:12:00.001-08:00

A lot of people give up something for Lent,
the 40 days before Easter, to keep them focused on the Lord,
reminding them each time they want that thing they have given up,
of his great love and all he gave up for us on the cross.
I think anything that keeps my mind staid on Jesus is a good thing.
I'm giving up junk food for Lent this year...
it's a choice that drives me to my knees,
especially mid afternoon when the chocolate cravings attack with
a fierceness that leaves me weak.
I think my sin nature is attached to my sweet tooth.
Giving up chocolate seems to keep me in a state of constant prayer...
(Sweet Jesus, help me now!)
Last night at dinner Jack asked if he could do something for Lent.
If kids could give something up for 40 days.
We said "yes, of course" a little taken aback that he would want to join in.
We were a little over proud
at his willingness to do something so sacrificial....
Until Jack smiled his wide smile and said,
"I am going to give up eating fruits and vegetables for Lent."
To his dismay, he was met with a "nice try".
Such are the inner spiritual workings of pastor's family.
(I myself thought giving up laundry might not be a bad idea.)
Maybe we'll be more holy by next year.
We can always hope.

some things my almost 10 year old needs to know

2011-03-08T10:00:00.000-08:00

Jack has grown 1 1/2 inches since September.
His face is changing. His legs are lengthening.
I try and push down on his head and make him get smaller.
But he doesn't like this for some reason and complains about it.
It just seems that since he got potty trained time has
accelerated and all of the sudden he is turning 10.
Those are double digits, people.
This is what Jack tells me.
"Mom,I am turning double digits this year."
At which point I stick my fingers in my ears and say,
"Lalalalalala!"
Because I am not ready. Not that that matters.
I found a list of people that Jack wanted to invite to his party
on the living room floor this morning.
It was a long list of friends. Everyone in his class.
And then in big letters underneath it said, "Not Invited: WILL.
That would be his younger brother, Will, that is apparently not invited.
I called Jack over and said,"What is this?"
And he said, "A list of who is coming to my party."
I pointed to Will's name, "You know he is coming to your party right?"
"Ah, mannnnn," he said.
It seems 10 year olds don't want their little brothers coming to their parties.
So I am going to set the record straight here for my rapidly growing son...
In case you were wondering, Jack....
You are never too old to invite your brothers to your birthday party.
You are never too old to hug or kiss your mom
(I will however agree to clandestine hugs only at home and
I promise not to give you a big smoocheroo
in front of your 10 year old friends.)
You are never too old to be polite.
You are never too old to say your bed time prayers.
(Pretty soon you might want to include morning and noon time prayers -
especially when you have to take geometry.)
You are never too old to have fun.
You are never too old to be a good friend.
(You've got this one down. Just look at your list.)
You are never too old to bust out into a happy dance.
(I sense a certain reticence in you to participate in family dance offs -
Embrace who you are. You are an Aughtmon. Dancing is in your genes.)
You are never too old laugh at yourself.
(I love this about you, Jack.
You appreciate a good chuckle on your own behalf.)
You are never too old to be considered my baby.
(I pinky swear not to call you "my baby" in public but you
should know that Grandma Sandy calls Dad "her baby" to this
day and as you know your Dad is a grown man.)
Mostly, Jack, you should know you are never too old to know
how much you are loved.
I love all almost ten years of you more than you can know.
Dad, does too.
And you should know, we are both coming to your party.

\`

25 things i have learned since i hurt my back

2011-03-03T13:48:00.001-08:00

1. It is really hard to eat a baked potato laying down.
2. I don't have any stomach muscles.
3. Bending at the waist is overrated.
4. I can hold my back very straight for a long time like an Irish Clogger.
5. Children like to jump on you more when you are on the couch.
6. Children don't understand why you are so upset
when they jump on you when you are the couch.
7. Plucking your eyebrows is not a high priority.
(Don't tell Scott - he will be sad.)
8. When you eat popcorn in a reclined position,
salt gets stuck in the creases in your neck.
9. Drugs are my friend.
10. Almost everyone has a hurt back story.
11. Even though I like having things in common with people,
I wish having a hurt back story wasn't one of them.
12. I can launch dirty clothes into the hamper by
picking them up with my toes and flinging them in a skyward arc.
13. I can now do squats like a Russian folk dancer.
14. I can spit out toothpaste without leaning forward.
15. Every muscle in my body is connected to my back.
16. I am not too embarrassed to eat standing up in a restaurant.
17. I can type, laying on my back, with my laptop on my stomach.
18. Re-freezable ice packs are my friend.
19. Pillows are my friend.
20. I will never take sitting up for granted again.
21. I look at things on the floor a lot but don't pick them up.
22. Daytime television can kill your soul.
23. Good fiction is a gift from God.
24. Chocolate still tastes good even when your back hurts.
25. Sweet boys kisses do make you feel better.

apparently I am living with young frankensteins

2011-02-24T10:00:00.000-08:00

The other day after I picked the boys of from school
the conversation turned to a discussion about my back.
I told the boys that one of the discs between my vertebrae
had been compressed and that is why it so sore.
Will piped up from the back, "Mom, when you die can we open
up your back and look at the discs?"
Irritated, I said, "Will, I'm not dying, my back is just sore."
Jack excitedly joined in, "No, really, Mom,that would be so cool.
Please donate your body to science!"
More irritated, I said, "I am not dying and I am not
donating my body to science."
They seemed disappointed. A little let down.
I decided to not upset them further by telling them
that they are not considered "science" and if I
did donate my body to science that there is
little chance of them ever seeing my insides.
Needless to say, I will be keeping all other medical
diagnoses to myself from now on.
Clearly, I need to seek sympathy elsewhere....
hopefully with some folks that aren't viewing me
as their next science fair project.

bonbon anniversary sale

2011-02-22T16:07:00.001-08:00

It's Bonbon Charms 5 year anniversary!
In case you don't know the story behind Bonbon
you might want to check it out.
Erica, the designer and my beautiful sister,
is having a deal per day on the lovely charms for the month of February.
And since I am a fan of Bonbon and my sister
and deals in general, I thought you should know.
This is the deal of the day:

Super cute...as is to be expected.
You better go get one.

sometimes i scare myself

2011-02-22T08:33:00.000-08:00

Last night Scott and I were talking about how we need to limit
the boys television viewing.
Since the arrival of PS3 in our house they can now download
shows from Netflix.
Being a basic cable family, we have never had access to Disney,
Nick Jr. and the like.
Now they can download them to our tv and
they want to watch whole seasons at a time.
Not whole shows...whole seasons.
Their latest kick is the Wizards of Waverly Place.
Last night I was telling Scott that I wasn't thrilled with how
they depict the parents in the show.
The kids are the ones who have all the power.
And Scott said,"But I thought the dad was a wizard."
To which I replied, "The dad used to be a wizard but he
lost his powers when he married a mortal. Now his three
kids are in a competition to see who will become the next
family wizard. That is why they are always learning new lessons."
Scott looked at me with a raised eyebrow.
"Really?"
As if to say,
"I am nervous that you know so much useless information
about children's tv and can't remember your kids names at times!"
Although, I do seem to be very adept at picking up a show's storyline,
it was at this point that I decided, maybe I have been watching
a little bit too much tv, too.
Just be thankful that I didn't tell Scott that I knew
the their lair is hidden behind the door
of the family restaurant's freezer....
that would have really given him pause.
I'm off to cleanse my mind with a good book...
Peter and the Shadow Thieves should do the trick.

grandma and grandpa are here

2011-02-18T13:12:00.000-08:00

My mom and dad are in town for a few days.
Dad is speaking at a conference this weekend
and they came a few days early to be with us and Brett and Jenny.
Yesterday we kept the boys home from school
because it was a half day and really when
grandma and grandpa are in town we feel like it is a family holiday.
We set a day aside in celebration of being with our favorite people.
The boys thought they were in 7 kinds of heaven.
There was Denny's for breakfast.
Any time they get to eat both bacon and sausage at the same sitting,
they cheer.
There were gifts and a trip to the lego store and target for more treats.
And then we came back home for an afternoon of leisure
to watch A Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonians.
Dad took a nap. The boys built while the movie played.
Mom and I nursed hot cups of milky tea and raided Dad's birthday candy.
My mother-in-law, Lola, had given him a two lb. box of See's nuts and chews.
(Hello, lovely, See's nuts and chews!)
And the rain drummed steadily on the metal roof of our screened in back porch.
And I'm just going to say....
it just doesn't get any better than that.

i'm back in the land of the living

2011-02-15T09:29:00.000-08:00

Last Monday, after Scott and I rode our bikes
to a coffee shop for a mid-morning date,
I promptly settled down to write the day away...
and all hell broke loose.
4 hours later as I tried to get up from my chair,
I realized my lower lumber region had
seized up like a 90 year old granny's.
By evening, I was down for the count.
The last 8 days I have been laid out on the couch,
hopped up on anti-flammatories and muscle relaxants,
trying to get my back to un-spasm.
Apparently, it didn't want to. It enjoys spasming.
This rendered me completely useless to teach at the preschool
or work towards my looming book deadline.
And of course, Scott, who never leaves the SF Peninsula,
was scheduled to fly out for a dear friend's wedding.
It is less than ironic that this book I am working on
touches on the subject of control issues....
and trusting God and the like.
Clearly, God actually wanted me to live out what I was writing about.
(Next time I am going to write a book about millionaire moms and
see if God wants me to walk that out...)
But needless to say, being put in a place of absolutely no control,
God chose to overwhelm me with the kindness of others.
My boss, Paula, ordered me home to bed and sent chocolates to comfort me.
My editor, Vicki, gave me an extension on my book deadline.
My friends, Paula and Shane and Marty brought delicious meals,
Jenn picked up my kids from school and delivered them home
along with some dee-lish pulled pork.
My mother-in-law, Lola, and sister Jenny came and kept watch
over me, taking care of my boys, picking up toys and getting
the house ready for church on Sunday.
The boys thought they had died and gone to heaven having their
cousin Drew on site for 2 days in a row.
Sunday morning brought Glenn and Paula early to the house,
to set up chairs for our small group, prepping for our group,
laying out a scrumptious spread and even doing a load of laundry.
My friends and family lifted me up when I was brought so low.
Clearly, the concept of "it takes a village" was not lost on me.
I was humbled and brought to tears by the goodness of others.
What can be said? Maybe that when things are out of my control
they are way better than normal. Great, even!
And I believe that slowly but surely, the Lord is healing my back.
Just yesterday, I was able sit up for over 15 minutes.
This is no small thing. I am starting this week out grateful,
a little slow and a little more thoughtful, as I move to put
pen to paper (or fingertips to keyboard.)
It seems all too clear Who is calling the shots around here.
So today I'm going to rest in that...
that and a handful of ibuprofen.

look what I found when I was supposed to be writing today

2011-02-04T16:11:00.000-08:00

It's true. I was procrastinating today.
Putting off what I was supposed to be doing.
I'm in the last month of writing book #3.
And wouldn't you know it, facebook is so much more interesting now.
I caught up on a number of friends' photo albums from childhood.
And checked out an auction on an army cot on ebay just for fun.
I also watched some old Dave Barnes videos.
I was parched and drank more coffee and tea and grapefruit juice
than I thought humanly possible.
And I had 3 meals before noon.
It's terrible. But praise the Lord for his faithfulness
in spite of all that, I am almost done with another chapter.
And I found this for your perusing pleasure.
In case you are procrastinating today, too.

i'm encouraged

2011-01-31T10:57:00.000-08:00

I'm in the last month of writing book number three.
It's crunch time, people.
Which usually means my children will be eating a lot of
macaroni and cheese and possibly wearing the same underwear
for multiple days in a row....
not that this is any different from other days.
I'm not sure why my children find it so difficult to part
with a pair of underwear after wearing it for a day...
it's as if they've made friends and don't want to say goodbye.
But that is neither here nor there.
There are few things that have kept me going these past
few months as the writing has me holed up and I thought
I'd share them with you in no particular order.
1. coffee with friends
2. prayer (if you have received a random e-mail from me coveting
your prayers...thanks for going with it...I have needed prayer
like nobody's business)
3. Season 4 of Psych and much needed laughter
4. Suzanne Arrunda's Jade del Cameron series - an sweet escape.
5. stove made popcorn with salt
6. Jimmy Needham's Not Without Love CD
7. 4 boys sweet kisses and hugs -
what would I do without my boys, big and little?
8. talking with Scott
9. encouraging e-mails
10. handfuls of guillard's chocolate chips
11. talking with my sisters and cousins on the phone
12. riding my bike...
even though I am wobbly like a kindergardener
13. cups of tea when it is raining
14. the anticipation of seeing family this month
(Mom, Dad, Erica...yippee!)
15. the book of Romans...Paul doesn't play.
16. all the grace and forgiveness that Jesus has for me -
I love new mercies.
Look at all the goodness therein.
Sometimes when I am under stress all I can think about is what is
overwhelming me and what is pulling at me.
Today I am thinking on all that is buoying me up,
keeping my head above water,
all the people who have taken moments out of their day
to encourage me and the knowledge that even though I feel pressed,
I am not alone on this journey.
And in case you forgot...neither are you.

the sins of the mother are also apparently passed down

2011-01-28T11:14:00.001-08:00

So last night the drain to our utility sink got clogged.
Which would be fine if our washing machine didn't empty
into our utility sink.
So while I was watching The Mentalist
our utility sink overflowed and filled
our laundry area up like small pond.
Neither Scott or I realized this until,
he went walking into our laundry area and hydroplaned.
His feet flew out from under him,
reaming his three small toes into the wall
and landed him fully clothed in a pool of sudsy water.
All I heard was a forceful crash and a rather manly yell.
And then he presented himself, wet and quite angry,
telling me we had to bail out the laundry room....again.
And I didn't even laugh. Not one chuckle.
Not one bit of mirth escaped from my lips.
Which is nothing short of a miracle.
Since usually if someone injures himself in a humorous way,
I am on the floor laughing. Really. I know it's terrible.
I know it is awful.
I know it is mean...I just can't help it.
It's a trait that was passed down to me by my mother.
If you hurt yourself in a funny way, she can't help laughing.
She once burst out laughing as the trunk to our station wagon
slammed down on all ten of my toes
when I was helping load in an antique washstand
we had bought together.
Thank God I had tennis shoes on
or I wouldn't be able to wear a toe ring.
All this to say, it is hereditary
and though I try to hold back when
our boys injure themselves..sometimes I do snicker.
So I knew the Lord had a worked something out in me last night
when after Scott's water landing,
I was just full of empathy not laughter.
At least until this morning's recap,
when Scott showed me his 3 black and blue toes
and I couldn't stop laughing.
Then I told our 4 year old Addison what happened
and he began giggling, too.
We tried to keep it to ourselves
lest Scott be injured emotionally as well as physically.
Clearly, the laughing-at-other-people's-pain gene has been passed along.
I'm so sorry, Scott, I really am.
Apparently, God still has some work left to do in me.
And Addison, too.

i have started noticing things about my eyes

2011-01-24T09:03:00.001-08:00

So I think the skin over my eyelids is lowering by the minute.
I'm not sure why. Maybe it's tired of holding itself up so nicely.
This lowering continues on into the corners of my eyes when I
smile and is creating a flap that I think I could maybe hide
a small stash of glitter in.
Which could be exciting if it released some sparkle each time
I smiled but I would probably get some under my contacts which
is excruciating so I would prefer if that skin could stay where it is...flapless.
I want to tell this upper eyelid skin...Don't give up!
Hold on! Stand up straight!
But I think maybe it is trying to travel down so it can
make friends with the dark circles under my eyes.
So this is my question. Clearly, it is a battle to be waged.
The don't-do-this-to-me-eyes-we've-been-such-good-friends battle.
I need your help, tsgs.
Any magic elixir, beauty potion or face regimes
out there that you can share with a sister?
Clearly, cleanser, oil of olay
and drinking water are not enough.
What do you use on your face, your eyes, your under eyecircles,
to keep yourself looking fresh and un-droopified?
A girl needs to know.

bad hygiene or secret weapon? it's your call....

2011-01-18T16:48:00.001-08:00

The other night Scott and I caught one of our children
trying to give himself a pedicure by biting his own toenails.
After a little gag, I reprimanded him,
"We don't bite our toenails. That is gross."
Maybe it is not kind to tell your own child that
they are gross but I want him to have friends
and if this behavior continues into high school
he will be hard pressed for close relationships.
Which brings me again to the question of hygiene and boys.
There is some kind of genetic disconnect between boys and cleanliness.
As if there is nothing in their chemical makeup that recoginizes the
need for soap.
They do, however, have a strong elemental bond with dirt.
I tell them, "Take a bath." And they say, "Why?"
And I say, "Because I can smell you when you walk by me."
And they say, "So?"
As if they are proud of their cloud of funk that surrounds them.
Maybe they view it as an invisible force field.
And to some degree it is working. It repels me.
So I told the 4 year old, "We are cutting your nails today."
And he wailed at me as if I had said, "I'm going to trim your earlobes."
He said, "No, Mom, I want to keep them."
I said, "You have claws on your hands...why do you want to keep them?"
He said, "I want to be like Wolverine."
As far as I can tell, he is more than half way there.
Apparently, I need to change my point of view.
My boys are not trying to be gross they are trying to protect me
from any outside foe with their unique array of weaponry.
They seem to have an unlimited supply of gas,
an impenetrable wall of body odor
and dangerously pointy nails to keep out any ne'er-do-wells.
How could I have been so blind trying to dis-arm them with
a bar of soap and a pair of nail clippers?
Clearly, I have a lot to learn.

i need some forgiveness please

2011-01-17T09:51:00.001-08:00

Sundays seem to be my breaking point.
I ended up having to apologize to my kids and husband yesterday,
for once again, completely losing it
45 minutes before we had to leave for church.
I wonder why I always want to throw down on the days
when I have to teach Sunday school.
I usually end up at the church, lesson plan in hand,
feeling penitent and as my friend Rodney would say, through.
(as in "I am through!" and I was)
It's as is if the Lord needs to work something out in me
before I can pass it on.
Luckily, we were talking about Adam and Eve in class.
About the Garden and the Snake and
how Adam and Eve did exactly what they were told not to.
And how we do those things, too.
We had a time of confession in class...
I told them how I had stole gum from the store when I was little
and I got busted and had to go back
with money from my piggy bank and apologize.
The kids admitted to hitting and being naughty.
There was even a biter in our midst.
But then we talked about how God forgave Adam and Eve.
And how he forgives us.
And mostly I needed to hear that myself.
Because I needed some forgiveness yesterday.
I'm sure I will require some today as well.
I needed to know that God is still offering it,
lo, these many years later.
I needed to remember that in those moments
when I make a mess out of things,
(fighting with Scott, nagging the children,
embracing a poopy pants attitude)
that he still loves me. And that he can redeem what I cannot.
I felt his redemption yesterday in the words of my kids,
"We forgive you, Mom."
And in Scott's hug. And in the song we sang during worship.
"Great is your faithfulness, oh God.
You wrestle with the sinner's heart."
And in Sunday school,
as we stamped apples in paint on papers that said,
"Adam and Eve at the apple. And God forgave them."
So this morning, I am holding on to yesterday's grace with both hands.
And am thankful, that God, in his rich mercy is still in the
business of forgiving.
Especially on Sundays.

we miss vacation

2011-01-14T09:35:00.000-08:00

So we are finally getting back into the swing of things here at
the Aughtmon home after having some fun and frolic in the snow
in Colorado during Christmas break.
After a week of leisure and big breakfasts,
of no agendas and unbridled freedom,
the children having the run of Grandma and Grandpa's house
and the adults lounging and sipping coffee,
the last two weeks have seemed a bit harsh and unforgiving.
Somehow the adjustment back into real life after vacation is always
a struggle.
I think it may take us a full month to get our bearings after Christmas.
We still want to sleep in and are finding ourselves hard put to get
out the door on time to school.
The boys are still pining for free time and pulling out the homework
and getting to work seems to take divine intervention
and some threats on my part.
Putting all of the Christmas stuff away seems to take a whole lot
of effort.
The tree is gone. The ornaments are put away.
And yet the tubs of Christmas paraphanelia are still haunting
our back porch...having trouble making their way back to the shed
where they are stored.
The children have seemed to forget our house rules and
have littered the house with toys and dirty socks and graded homework papers.
It seems like everything within us is still longing for another
week of unstructured relaxation.
But it is not to be.
The garbage must be taken out. The dishes washed. The laundry folded.
We must soldier on.
I've been trying to involve the children as we put things away
and get our lives back in order after such a fun holiday season.
The other day as I was pulling groceries from the car,
I asked Addison to grab the bag carrying the bread.
He said, "Why?"
And I said, "Because I need your help."
And he answered, "But I don't want to."
And I said, "Addie, we are a team. We all have to work together."
As he picked up the bag and headed toward the door he said,
"Mom...I hate working together."
Four year olds rarely hold back their true feelings.
Addie is learning the rough ways of the world.
After vacation, re-entry is never pretty.
But he doesn't know what I know.
It's a 3 day weekend this weekend...things are looking up.

my new ride

2011-01-10T13:42:00.000-08:00

The last time I had a bike it was a hand me down from my sister, Jenny.
It was hot pink with a banana seat and had a bionic woman sticker on it.
I dug through a whole box of cereal for that sticker.
But when we moved from to the flat farmlands of Illinois to Santa Cruz,
we ditched our bikes because we lived on a hill
the size of a small alp and riding down it would
have launched us to an early death or incurred some time of paralysis.
My brother, Chris and I did take the hill in a little red wagon once.
He was thrown clear into some weeds and I still bear the scars on my knees.
But I digress.
This year for my cousin Beth's birthday,
Beth and I stayed at a fancy resort called Solage
that had matching Schwinns parked outside the door
so you could tool into town on them if you wanted to.
They were black with fat seats and wide tires and looked like fun on wheels.
So Beth and I did tool into town and I only fell over once....
when I hooked my purse on the handlebars as I was trying to get off.
But I told my sister-in-law Cheri about the bikes
and she was as excited about them as I was.
We decided that this year was the year of the bike.
That we both needed one.
Even though I haven't had a bike since I was 7.
So on my birthday, my dreams came true and Scott presented me with this...

And here I am looking very happy on my bike.

And it gets better because Santa brought Cheri a bike for Christmas.
She looks happy, too, doesn't she?

I think we are so happy because when you are riding a bike,
even when you are a little wobbly, you feel free as a bird.
The wind is whipping at your face and you
know somewhere in your gut that maybe you could win a race...
as long as there are no hills involved.
And you can't help laughing out loud,
like I did when I took a wide turn today and
almost got my handlebars stuck in a chain link fence.
It made a really loud clanking sound.
I was laughing because I was so glad I didn't pitch over my handlebars
into the bushes.
Mostly, I think riding bikes makes you so happy because it
makes you feel like a kid again. Really.
I'm excited about my bike.
I'm going to ride over to Cheri's house this week.
Right after I call my mom and make sure it's okay.

a note to the future wives of my sons

2011-01-08T10:22:00.000-08:00

Dear future wives of my sons-
I need to tell you about the struggles that I am encountering
in getting these boys to take ownership of their mess, their rooms,
and the general trail of toys they leave around the house.
I am trying to involve the children in the clean up and organization
of the house training them up in the way they should go.
And also because, I know that years from now you will be saying to
yourselves.
Didn't their mother teach them how to clean up after themselves?
You should know that I have been working at it for years.
But I am not sure it is taking.
Just know that I am on them like white on rice
(Pick up your socks! Put your dishes away! Is the hamper invisible to you?)
and it will not be for lack of trying on my part
if their slovenly ways continue into adulthood.
I'm not sure but I think a couple of my boys are headed for
that show Hoarders.
Do we really need to keep all the gum wrappers from last year
under your bed?
And why are there 4 trees worth of paper shoved under the trash can?
Can you try and put them in the trash can
instead of decorating the floor with them?
Or there is the fact that I keep finding science experiments popping
up in their lunch boxes, in desk drawers and in cup holders in the car.
When they hear me say,
"What was this before it started growing?"
They know they are going to lose out on computer time for days.
So future wives of my sons, know this.
They really are such good boys.
They love Jesus and give good hugs.
They are learning to be kind and considerate
and to keep potty talk to a minimum.
But on the off chance that things don't improve in the cleaning arena
even when they come of age,
I promise to pay for a house cleaning service to come to your house
on your birthday.
It's the least I can do.