maybe you need a nap

I flew across country yesterday from San Francisco to Chicago
and from Chicago to White Plains.
This morning I woke up at my friend Camilla's house in Connecticut.
After sleeping for 12 hours.
12 hours.
I think the last time I slept for 12 hours was when I was an infant.

I have been messaging my doctor lately about how tired I have been.

I have been wanting to take naps in the afternoon and go to bed after dinner.
The crazy thing is that I hate naps.
Ever since I was a small child, I have abhorred these breaks in the day...
because you miss out on things when you nap.
But Scott and the boys have been exchanging looks across the dinner table that say,
"Is Mom going to fall asleep mid-salad?" Possibly.

My doctor took a gagillion blood samples last week and tested me from everything
from infection to hormones to vitamin deficiencies.
I got a message from her in Chicago yesterday.
Everything looks great. I am super healthy.

So apparently, I am just super tired.
Which is completely in keeping with the title of this blog...
confessions of a TIRED supergirl.
Sometimes it takes me a while to listen to my body.
Or to my own blog title.
Or to Jesus.

I guess He has to fly me to the East Coast before I will actually lie down.
It reminds me of the 23rd Psalm, when David says,

"He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside quiet waters.
He restores my soul."

MAKE is the operative word here.
Sometimes He has to MAKE us lie down.

Have you ever seen a toddler that is over tired, weeping uncontrollably and prone to tantrums?
And you are thinking, "Man, that kid is tired. Her mom needs to put her down for a nap."
That may or may not be me at the moment.

I am so wound up with writing deadlines, the boys school schedule,
the kids program at church and
life in general, that I have forgotten how to rest.
I want Jesus to restore my soul.
I just don't want to lie down in green pastures or follow Him beside the quiet waters.
But, apparently, those are non-negotiables.

So today, I am recognizing that I am tired.
Really, super, crazy tired.
And really, what I am missing out on when I don't take a nap,
is restoring my soul.
And that's not good.

Maybe you are right there with me, exhausted and bone weary.
I have a thought, that maybe just maybe,
we should let Jesus make us lie down.
It could be a start to a new way of living.

Maybe today's prayer should look something like this:

Jesus....
Thank you so much for knowing me better than I know myself.
Please make me lie down.
I am ready for those green pastures and still waters.

Show me how to rest in You.
Show me how to breathe and relax
and let go of the stress locked in between my shoulder blades.

I don't know how to get there on my own
but I am going to let you do the leading.
I am ready for some soul restoring.

Thank you  for caring about me so much and for loving me so well.

Amen

Then let's take a deep breath and....
Bring on the nap.