excuse me while I try to find my stomach muscles

For those of you who have read here at the Tired Supergirl for any length of time,
you will know that I have had recurring back and hip issues...like a 90 year old.

And after eight months of writing, my back once again decided to say, "No thank you."
So I have been on a mission to figure out a better way to do this thing.
This thing, meaning, working and not being in pain.
It has been a five year journey but I am still figuring it out.

I went to the physical therapist a few years back to help me.
The PT had me lay on my back on a table and
said, "Try and tighten your core muscles."
She had pained expression on her face that read,
"I know there should be stomach muscles here...but where are they?"
She asked me again, "Can you tighten them?"
I tried...I really did.

And then she finally said, "Oh, okay...here we go."
Like she was that boy from the movie Hook,
who is searching for Peter Pan's boyhood face under Robin William's man wrinkles
and finally says, "Oh, there you are Peter!"

Let's be honest. Finding my stomach muscles took some searching on her part.
I could have told her that after birthing three 9 lb babies
that my stomach muscles finally said, "We're out."
They had been stretched and pulled and pummeled into flabby submission.
It still isn't pretty.

So I went to a back specialist last week who took a look at my new x-rays.
And she said, "Your back and hips actually look great."
I wanted to give her high five.
Then she said,
"But from now on,
you will need to do back exercises,
to strengthen your core....
FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE."
No high five for her.

I felt like a kid who had been given a lifetime supply of PE class.
I thanked her. Kind of.
And took my pamphlet of FOREVER UNTIL I DIE back exercises.

So I have been doing my exercises.
EVERY. DAY.
And I have been speaking hope and truth to my stomach region, saying things like,
"I know you are in there....come on out."
and
"This hurts me just as much as it hurts you...let's just get it over with."
And I have been playing Justin Timberlake's new song while I work out.
Because it makes me happy even when my stomach muscles are sad.

Things are looking up.
Just yesterday after trying to do a bridge I felt something new and solid
trying to hold up my stomach flab.
I am not getting my hopes up too high, but I think it might actually be a muscle.
Fingers crossed, people, fingers crossed.