This morning as the boys were sitting at the table eating breakfast Will said,
"Ewwww....someone wiped earwax on the table!"
Now this may be a surprise to some of you out there who have clean tables...
I will just let you know...I wasn't surprised. I live with 4 boys.
I was however grossed out.
"That is disgusting," I answered.
To which Addison piped up, "I like the smell of earwax."
"Addsion, that is gross!" I told him, wondering if he, in fact, was the earwax wiper.
"What? I do."
And then a big grin lit his face.
"I don't like how it tastes though."
Now it was my turn to yell, ."EWWWW!"
All the boys broke into laughter simultaneously.
"It tastes like hand sanitizer."
"Stop talking. Right now."
Two thoughts...when had he been licking earwax and what is the alcoholic content
of hand sanitizer? Was there a need to call poison control on either?
This sent the boys into expressing a stream of ideas of how Addie could use his
ear wax to sanitize the world.
Addie could be to earwax what George Washington Carver was to peanuts.
At this point, I gagged a little and walked out of the kitchen.
Sometimes it is just better to walk away.
I think I will skip breakfast this morning.
Wednesday, December 17, 2014
Sunday, December 7, 2014
You know those cartoons where a person gets rolled over by a snowball and
becomes a part of the snowball picking up enormous speed,
gathering snow, getting larger and larger,
rolling down a few snow laden cliffs and a steep glacial drop
and when it finally rolls to a stop
all you can see is hands and feet sticking out of a mammoth ball of snow?
all you can see is hands and feet sticking out of a mammoth ball of snow?
That person inside is me.
Those are my hands and feet waving at you from here in Redwood City, California.
I have been squashed by the Christmas snowball.
The snowball of expectations and activities that roar in the Friday after Thanksgiving
and don't die down until the New Year has been rung in.
So far I have ordered Christmas cards,
purchased around half of the Christmas presents for my family,
organized the advent calendar,
decorated the house,
bought the tree,
decorated the tree,
marched in a Christmas parade,
gotten Christmas packages together for our World Vision kiddos,
picked out the songs for our kids carol sing along in church in two weeks,
made 17 gazillion lists of things that need be purchased,
errands to be run and good deeds to be tended to.
This is only the first weekend in December.
And I am through.
If you need me, I will be in bed until January.
Or maybe for another 15 minutes because then I have work on my book
that is on deadline in 7 days, and practice the worships songs for church this afternoon
and buy beef jerky for the gift box our church kids are sending overseas to a soldier
Sometimes all the good things that we have planned take over our lives
and pin us down so we can hardly breathe.
Maybe you have also been squashed by the Christmas snowball.
(I may have picked you up when I was rolling down the mountain of bills
I was paying yesterday and the truckload of errands I was running this week...sorry about that.)
The Christmas snowball leaves some chaos in its wake.
There has been a lot of yelling at my house this week.
Because the children don't realize that I am being squashed
and that being squashed makes me yell.
I don't know if you knew this but your being squashed
tends to flatten those around you, too. It's not pretty.
But here is the thing.
Almost none of these things that are flattening me or you are really Christmas.
They are all the trappings we have added to Christmas.
We don't need more parties, or decorations, or gifts, or worries, or expectations, or lists,
to be added to Christmas.
What we REALLY need is to breathe.
Air is really good right around Christmas time.
Try it. Right now. 4 deep breaths.
Do you feel the tension easing up between your shoulder blades?
And we need some grace. For ourselves and others.
We need to let ourselves off of the hook and tell Martha Stewart
(who may or may not have taken up residence in our brain) ,
"Even though hot chocolate made on the stove
with organic sweet cream and bars of chocolate
garnished with peppermint sticks that you can use as straws
and dollops of freshly whipped cream in matching Christmas mugs
with shavings of chocolate made from free trade cacao beans imported from Colombia
Swiss Miss powdered packets with tiny hard marshmallows are making a comeback."
And we need to love people.
My husband just told me that we at least 8 hugs a day. He read it somewhere.
It sounds about right.
You don't flatten people when you are holding them close to your heart.
And mostly, we need to remember Jesus.
Breath of Heaven.
Bright and Morning Star.
He loves us.
There is nothing snowballish about him.
He came so that we could be free...not flattened.
Grab some grace and spread it around.
And remember that the Light of the World loves you.
Completely. Wholly. Without reservation.
And that is real Christmas.
Monday, December 1, 2014
I am so excited to introduce the Tired Supergirl Christmas Bundle!
I love Christmas and I love giving presents.
I even love wrapping presents.
There is something so fun about giving a gift
and knowing that it is going to bring joy!
So this Christmas
- for a limited time -
you can buy the Tired Supergirl Christmas Bundle-
All I Need is Jesus and a Good Pair of Jeans
My Bangs Look Good and Other Lies I Tell Myself
I Blame Eve
And they will be delivered to your home (or your friend's home)
All 3 books
beautifully gift wrapped
with a hand written Christmas Card from me!
( Did I mention that I like sending Christmas Cards, too? I do.)
by December 5 for the special price of
$30 for all 3 books!
Tuesday, November 25, 2014
Only 3 days until the Tired Super Bundle is unveiled on the tired supergirl site.
I am excited to share it with you. And I love this thought about how The Author
is still writing our story.
Please share this with anyone who is in the midst of their story and needs a reminder that
the good part is still coming.
Thursday, November 13, 2014
Tuesday, November 11, 2014
First off, I would like to apologize for what I did
to your men's toiletry section yesterday.
I went there with the best intentions.
With a teenage boy and a pre-teen boy in the house now,
things in the smelly arm pit department are ramping up.
Soap is not enough.
Deodorant needs some backup.
All I wanted was to find a remedy to stem the gag reflex that I keep having
when the boys get in the car after a long day of playing outside.
All I wanted was to show my children how embracing hygiene
promotes long lasting friendships.
When I unleashed the burst of Old Spice body spray into the aisle
to catch a whiff of its scent, I had no idea it would spread like mustard gas,
causing shoppers to flee the aisle in search of oxygen.
I cleared the aisle of all shoppers in less than 20 seconds.
You probably noticed a loss of sales in men's toiletries yesterday.
It was probably due to the mushroom cloud of Wolfthorn Body Spray
hanging over the whole body products section of the store.
By the way, Old Spice, what in the name of heaven do you put in that spray?
It made me want to claw out my eyes..
And I am not sure that Wolfthorn is your best bet on product names...
I am trying to overcome a wild animal smell in my children...not embrace it.
Back to you, Target,
I bent myself in half to escape the toxic fumes, grabbed my 8 year old's hand
and my cart and fled the scene into produce.
I could still smell the overwhelming scent amid the apples and oranges...
probably because it had worked its way into my pores...maybe into my DNA by this point.
The only thing that helped was finding my way to the Christmas section and
staring at turquoise mercury glass.
It was so happy it made me forget my breathing issues.
Addison finally said, "Mom, stop staring at it. Let's go."
And I said, "But it's so shiny."
By the way, Target,
I will be resisting your siren call of Christmas items with your adorable pillows and
your sparkly lights. It is not even Thanksgiving yet. Have some mercy on us.
So, anyway, just wanted to clear things up so that we could continue
our loving relationship.
I will try and refrain from releasing anymore noxious body sprays in
your store in the new future.
Thanks for being who you are and taking all my money.
I love you.