Saturday, June 12, 2021

I'm Tired, People, but I'm Working it Out














There's this new blogging trend where you only blog twice year. 

It's been linked to autoimmune disease. 

Okay. That's not a thing.

But after tons of testing, weeping, and gnashing of teeth, 

I found out last August that I have Hashimotos' Autoimmune Thyroid disease.

And I have blogged 2 1/2 times since then. 

Remember when I was teaching and couldn't get up off the couch after getting home?

Well, my body was forming an uprising against me 

and decided that if I thought living off of coffee and adrenaline for two years was a good idea, 

that it would show me different.

So, I basically exploded my body with stress. Have you guys tried it?

It's not the best. 


I am currently working to atone for the crimes I perpetrated against my body and mental well-being.

I am taking a plethora of supplements - since my body doesn't want to hold on to nutrients -

as well as getting a shot of B12 once a week, because, come on, who doesn't love shots?

I have a pill box the size of a purse and have officially been declared "90 on the inside"

by friends and family.


I asked my son, Addison, the other day, "Remember when I didn't lay on the couch?"

He looked like he wanted to answer yes, but I have raised him to be a truth-teller.

He just patted my shoulder and walked away.


But not that everything is all bad. I have an out now when I make dumb mistakes. 

I found out that your thyroid has cell receptors on EVERY cell in your body.

So it affects my sleep, my neck, my brain, my eyes, my joints, 

and I am pretty sure my elbows are giving me pushback at this point. 

So when anything goes wrong, I am just blaming my thyroid.


The other day, my son Jack was home visiting from college and we were running errands.

I made a wrong turn on a one-way street. We both thought we were going to die.

That was all thyroid, folks. 

Jack decided he would rather drive with Scott after that. 

We had Will's graduation party two weeks ago. Family came in town to stay. 

It was the highlight of our year so far. We had a party. We laughed. We cried.

We lived it up.

It's only taken me 13 days to recover and get up off of the couch.

That's all you, thyroid.


When I named the blog 12 years ago, 

I was a young sleep-deprived mom just trying to survive the day...I was a tired supergirl.

Now as I duke it out with my thyroid, 

I am a middle-aged mom teetering on the brink of an empty nest...

I would say I am more of a super tired girl. 

But that girl...she is still in there.

She is trying to fight her way out. She still wants to laugh and play and do great things for Jesus.

She just feels like maybe she has been hit with a bear tranquillizer 

that has taken her down the last year or 4. 

And her doing great things for Jesus looks a lot like trying not to lay down during virtual church on Sunday now.

It's all about baby steps, folks.


So this month, I am embarking on a new healing journey with my medical team (naturopath, endocrinologist, and the receptionist who has a full-time job logging my appointments).

It starts with an elimination diet that seems especially cruel as it eliminates caffeine and chocolate.

I just started to get teary-eyed at the mention of that. 

I literally ate 3 chocolate almond clusters yesterday in preparation for the fact that I won't be eating dark chocolate for an entire month. See the great logic there?

But I am actually excited in a tired sort of way.

And I have decided I need to stay connected during this journey. 

Because not eating chocolate goes against all my love languages (gifts of chocolate, quality time with chocolate, acts of service of people brings me chocolate, etc.)


So I will be posting updates here...at least two more times this year.

Are you tired, too?

Let's encourage each other on this journey.

I'm asking Jesus to take the wheel. 

Or even better, I will be asking Him to map out the entire journey ahead 

as I will be taking a lie down in the back seat.

Why don't you join me?



2 comments:

Shane Couch said...

Oh, Susanna! You make us laugh as you languish, but praying for a reverse languishing.

susanna said...

I love making you and Marty laugh, Shane. It's my favorite! :) Love you guys!