Saturday, May 12, 2007

confession #6: I really do love being a mom

A lot of the time I am tired. That is a given.
I get a bit grumpy with the lack of sleep.
I can be overwhelmed with the meal planning,
the errand running, the constant clutching of my knees
along with requests for copious amounts of cheese and juice boxes.
I've been known to whine about the craziness of my life on occasion.
But truly, besides my wedding day,
my best days were the ones I had my babies.
I won't lie.
I took all the drugs that they would give me.
And asked for more.
With Will, I asked the nurse for my epidural and
she answered saying,"Ma'am, we actually have to admit you first."
So I rely heavily on modern medicine. I'm not ashamed.
But the dulling of the pain did not dull the euphoria,
the heights of joy and the fall of tears,
as each new baby was placed on my stomach the first time.
That unbelievable moment of meeting
an absolutely new person that had never been met before.
Touching tiny noses, kissing eyebrows and whispering
their names to them. It was indescribable.
And awesome. Scott would agree.
And to know that these little ones,
were made up of the two of us, was magic.
We could not get enough of them.
It didn't matter that Jack's head was shaped like
Bobby Brown's hair in his My Perogative video
or that Will had red scratches around his eyes
that looked like Gene Simmon's eye makeup from KISS.
It didn't matter that, I STILL had a 20 hour labor
with Addison even though he was baby #3.
Okay, it mattered but I forgave him the moment I saw him.
There is something about that moment of becoming a mom
that it is beautiful and glorious and
makes your heart ache inside your chest with the goodness of it.
I forget things a lot since becoming a mom of three.
I forget appointments, brushing my teeth
and the odd school function.
I forget to pack Jack's lunch,
and the names of close family friends.
But looking into the faces of my three sons,
holding their small pink bodies close
and saying, for the first time,
"Hi, sweet boy. I'm your mommy."
That is something I will never forget.


Leslie said...

I just re-read that and it made me all teary. You punk! I loved talking to you last night and now I'm going to put on some shimmery lip gloss and feel girlie.

susanna said...

It was so good talking to you, too. Only yesterday I put on my minty gloss....and then licked it all off. :) It's good to know you get teary too. :)