Wednesday, October 31, 2007

techno granny

The other day while driving to target I stopped for a boy,
maybe 8 or 9, to ride his bike across the crosswalk.
With one hand he was clutching the handlebars,
and with his other hand he was dialing his cell phone.
Yes, you read correctly. Boy, 8 or 9. Bike. Cell phone.
Then as I entered the parking lot of target,
I saw the security guard making his rounds. On a segway!
One of those motorized scooter type things that you stand up on
that is perfectly balanced.

And it's not that I think that the security guard should be walking
his rounds but does patrolling the target parking lot
require a George Jetson type mode of transportation?
Once in target, I kept being distracted at regular intervals
by other shoppers talking loudly on their cell phones.
(I do this, too, when I shop but not in target. Because it's target.
Target is a place for reverence and perusal, not casual conversation.)
I also walked up on someone chatting on blue tooth,

which freaks me out, because usually the earpiece is lost in their hair
and you think they are just looking at shampoo
when out of the blue they say,
"You've got to be kidding me! Sam is only 9! Why does he need a cell phone?" EXACTLY MY POINT.
And then there is the whole texting issue,
which I think may be okay to do in target
since it doesn't disturb other shoppers,
except when someone is texted a funny picture or comment
and they are looking down at their hands laughing for no apparent reason.
I was not even aware I could text people on my phone
until my friend, Rene, told me she texted me.
When I finally figured out where to find the text on my phone,
I found one from my friend, Robyn, from LAST HALLOWEEN.
Yep, a year ago.
I wonder if Robyn has thought I am rude for a whole year.
Sorry, Robyn. And Rene. And Lindsey.
And all the other people that texted me and I never answered back.
When I was growing up if people laughed at their hands
or talked to themselves, we called them CRAZY PEOPLE.
Now you can never be sure.
I know that my children will far surpass my ability
when it comes to utilizing the technology at hand.
Jack and Will often tell me to move aside so they can show me
how to do something on the computer. Addison is not far behind.
This became abundantly clear yesterday as I was folding laundry.
My 19-month-old found my pocket calculator
and had it up to his ear, babbling away.
Next thing you know, he'll be texting me from his segway
asking me to buy him an earpiece.
And for some reason, the thought of all this technology
I have yet to harness makes me a little tired....
so many contraptions, so little brain left to understand them all.
I know I sound like an old lady,
but it makes me long for a cup of tea. A piece of chocolate.
Maybe a little on-line shopping would soothe me.

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