Thursday, January 24, 2008

disorganized

I am an organizer.
Now let's pause a moment, tsgs, until the raucous laughter dies down.
If you could see the state of my living room right now you would
join in the laughter and then say,"You've got to be kidding me."
3 times in the last week people have dropped by and found my family,
knee deep in popcorn kernels and board books and we had to literally,
clear a path so they could enter the house.
I have died a 100 tiny prideful deaths over the state of my home.
The floor is littered with videos, diabolically small lego pieces and
random pieces of cutlery. Woven in between the toys,
I see trails of graham cracker pieces and
some unidentifiable liquid is pooling on the coffee table.
Apple juice? Yesterday's cup of tea? It is anyone's guess.
Tax stuff litters the kitchen table,
along with voting guides, un-filed bills, and 3 thank you cards
that need to be sent that I don't have addresses for.
4 loads of laundry sit on my bed
and 3 more are over flowing the hampers.
I feel scattered and a bit sad that I have yet to figure out a system
to manage my own household chaos and also,
that I don't have any chocolate to comfort myself with at the moment.
But the thing is, organizing other people and their homes,
is a job...a project...a task with a beginning and an end.
But this house, this space filled with toys and odd scraps of paper,
with cracker crumbs, dirty clothes and even dirtier dishes,
this is my life. And I am in the midst of living it.
We are mucking it out...making snacks, wiping noses, budgeting,
kissing foreheads, changing light bulbs
and racing to the car on rainy mornings so we are not late to school.
And it is messy, this life, oh my goodness, it is messy.
This unkempt house with its closets
stuffed with light bulbs, items to be returned to target,
and bags full of clothes for Goodwill,
the bathtub with its chips in the enamel,
and the half finished cup of coffee sitting on the counter
are a testament to the life I am living.
This busy, crazy, rich, filled-to-the-brim-with-little-boys life.
And while I long for a big clean space, I really do,
because it truly feeds my soul
(and also nurtures my anal retentive tendecies
that I learned about in my college psych class),
I am trying to take a deep breath
and just enjoy the messy living part, too.
Because, God knows, tsgs, it may be a good 15 years
before my living room is really clean
and if I can't let go of some of these
control issues I will CLEARLY lose my mind.
So all of that said, with the kids' rooms in disarray
and the recycling waiting to be taken out,
I am going to make myself a cup of tea,
and drink a toast to me and my messy-full-of-life house.
Anyone care to join me?

9 comments:

Erica said...

CHEERS! I'm heating up the water right now. Love you!

julie said...

Me too, but can I have coffee? I need the coffee.

I will never forget one summer, we were all in my parents' backyard and my mother was telling everyone how she wasn't a perfectionist. Matt and I were rolling our eyes behind her when you piped up and said, "Umm, no Aunt La, you ARE a perfectionist. I have folded towels for you!"

That memory always makes me smile. And realize I come by my own organizational issues honestly.

Jessi said...

God bless you...you absolutely just made my day. I've been feeling in a complete tailspin b/c of not being able to keep up with everything, and then I read these blogs of women encouraging me to make my home a "sactuary" (which I believe and agree...just can't do at this point!) and it makes me feel like such a loser wife! This one gives a 'small challenge' each day - like 'clean out from under one bed' or 'vacuum' - and to me they seem like impossibilities! So, it's a beautiful thing to me to hear someone at the same place as me and know - for some of us, it's just where we're at right now - and it's OK!!!

Leslie said...

I'm in! By the way...have you ever stepped on one of those legos when you're barefoot? Yowza!

Lindsey said...

Wonderful post. Someone once told me, "Babies don't keep, houses, on the other hand do." This translates to hold your babies while you can. It doesn't last forever! Have a great weekend!

Amy said...

I know the feeling. I will come clean for you. Give me a couple of big bins and I am good to go.

Beth said...

Sorry, I'm late! But I did join you this morning with my cup of coffee...my kitchen table stacked with papers, laundry in all areas of my home and a leaky toilet that might be fixed as soon as next year:)
Love you, Beth

Tonja said...

As an older mom, whose children are now grown...a word of advice. Your children will never remember helping you clean the house...but those times you sit and read with them or play legos with them...will become their treasured memories. My now 25 year old son said to me recently, "I remember how we would lay in the big recliner and watch movies on rainy days. That always made me feel so special."

I have been a lurker on your blog for a few months. I really like your style of writing. So, thought I'd show myself and say hello. Enjoy the mess, wade through it, and play with the kids.

susanna said...

So glad to have so many friends join me in my mess! I think we may need to raise a mug of tea or coffee to this on a fairly regular basis. Tonja, thanks for your words of wisdom and persective! Feel free to lurk and comment at will! :) Susanna