Sunday, February 10, 2008

thoughts on mothering

Here are some deep mommy thoughts from one
tired supergirl to another....

You know it is going to be an extremely long and possibly hideous day
when you are awoken 4 times before 6:30 in the morning.
(tsg hint #27: Stock up on caffeinated beverages now...
you will need them.)

You know that you need to clean the back cubbies in your van more often
when you offer your friends a ride and while doing a hasty crumb check
you find a tiny plasticine Luke Skywalker mired in a pit of caramel
left over from last week's apple dippers,
resembling a pre-historic beast caught in the La Brea tar pits.
(tsg hint #287: If at all possible, take your friends car.
No one appreciates cubbies filled with caramel.)

You know you need to back off of the lattes when your 22 month old
begins keening at the sighting of a Starbucks sign and shrieking,
"Juice, Mom, juice!"
(tsg hint #65: Don't take your children to starbucks...go by yourself.)

You know your 4 year old has watched one (or 50) too many hours of
PBS when he can recite the entire lineup...for the whole day...
along with its varied sponsors.
(tsg hint #32: Pray that God will restore your child's brain cells back to
normal capacity. Pray very hard. He starts kindergarten in the fall.)

Or better yet, you know, you could just pray for me.
Since I have recently experienced all of these things.
And PLEASE DO NOT leave helpful tips for me in the comments
about how you excel at mothering and you have never experienced
caramel in your cubbies or that your child has never watched
even a smidge of tv and began kindergarten at the age of 3
due to superior non-television brain cells
or how your child has never woken up 20 gagillion times in the night
or how you brew your own coffee using the same grounds for a week
and send the money you save from NOT going to Starbucks,
with or without your children,
to the poor and afflicted in the Dominican Republic or
that you know of books that could prove to be a blessing and a help
to me as I struggle with my own mothering
because any spare reading time that I have,
I choose to devote to unrealistic fiction
and People magazine and of course, the Bible, and
since I am already teetering on the brink it would be wise and kind
of you to keep your perfect mothering skills to yourself
since mentioning how great you are and how un-great I am
would just send me right over the edge. Yes, it would.
But if you by chance, have struggled on occasion with caramel,
syrup, melted bubblegum or other gelatinous substances and
are on occasion, sleep deprived, slug back double half caf skinny mochas
and have watched some PBS yourself
(Piggly Winks is my personal favorite)
then BY ALL MEANS leave a comment or two.
And God bless you. Really.
Because sometimes being a mom can get a little sticky.


Amy said...

Haven't dealt with the caramel...yet. My latest issue in the back was chocolte milk that was spilled and kept secret. It actually hardened into the carpet of the car and it stunk to the highest heavens. Ugh!
By the way, kudos on the apple dippers. How do you get your kids to eat healthy apples instead of the fries? Mine won't do it. :o)

Meg said...

Having only one child so far, my personal trials are less varied. My one year old, however, refuses to lie still to have her diaper changed. She has been doing this for 6 months, ever since she learned to crawl. I struggle between the desire to pin her down (hello, child protective services?) and giving up and letting her crawl around the house diaper-less and cold. My desire to keep pee off the floor stops me from the latter. It's also gotten worse since I stopped letting her suck on the petroleum based diaper ointment (don't bother called CPS again, you already have them on the line, remember?) So, I'm sure I have much to look forward to...

Kelly @ Love Well said...

My Monday so far:
1. Went to sleep last night nursing a baby.
2. Woke at 3:00 to nurse a baby.
3. Woke at 4:00 to comfort the snuffling baby.
4. Woke at 6:30 to nurse a baby.
5. Woke at 7:00 to take a shower and get older kids ready for school.

Everything after that is a blur of crying baby (who should still be sleeping), constantly reminding older children to "eat now" and "hurry" and COFFEE!

You're in good company my friend.

(And this post is hysterical.)

Gwenn Mangine said...

Ok-- I think you and I might be long lost sisters. :)


Leslie said...

Let me put it to you this way, Sue. This morning I dubbed JD "Edward Scissorhands" because trying to snip his nails is such a treacherous task that I'd actually let them grow and then (thru little boy play, I guess) whittle themselves down to pointy little daggers. Those things can now cut through a tin can.

I'm not going to be winning any Mom of the Year awards with that one. It's nice to know that other moms struggle too, though!

susanna said...

I love you all. I really do. Life seems better when you know other people are in the same boat you are. :)

Lindsey said...

Oh! I have so had those days. I just blogged on how much tv is too much tv! I can't decide. And yes, I am guilty of using the tv as a babysitter. Only people who don't have kids tell you otherwise. I have two little girls (4 y.o. and a 5 month old). The baby still does not sleep for more than 4 hours at a time (though I am thankful for that) and my 4 y.o. doesn't stop talking.....EVER. Some days, I just want to say, "Calgon, take me away." Though I really do love my life. Thanks for making me feel "normal"!

Beth said...

Sue...Just had to let you know, I ALWAYS have some sort of caffine at home(chocolate/coffee), I totally appreciate cubbies filled with carmel(or filled w/ anything), Sophia spots Starbucks & says, "Coffee mommy!"(she loves coffee!?) and me & my kids love Piggly Winks!!
Love, Beth

Jen said...

My 22 month old has begun to whine, "Gigos! Watch Gigos! TV!" (interpretation: Wiggles! Watch Wiggles...") several times a day, and all my kids have been up in the night numerous times for the past few nights. We just bought our 4 year old his own alarm clock so that he can see when it is 6:30 - when morning officially begins in our house! Keep up the good work - the mothering and the writing!

emilymr said...

We don't have a TV... ;) hahaha

BUT, we just spent the weekend in Tahoe with 10 other adults, none of whom have children. Guess who was up at least 7 times Friday night, screaming about it being too dark/bright/cold/sleepingbagless/fill in the blank, and who woke up his brother at 6 AM Saturday morning, along with all of the other adults (did I mention childless??)?? And guess who was a cranky snappy mommy mess for the rest of the weekend?? Let's just say we were a particularly effective form of birth control for everyone. :P

Leslie said...

Oh yeah...I meant to tell you that other recommended "reading" is US magazine. Less annoying words (even less than People, a family fave) for the sleep deprived to wade through, more pictures of bling and pretty people to take our minds off the dusty orange trail of Goldfish that have been strewn on the floor and then neatly crushed into the carpet by toddler feet. Ahh...sweet bling.

Brianna Inman said...

Hey Sue, I have a couple rules for you that apply to my life yesterday.

Rule number one, Always shake out your laundry because you might end up washing and drying a RED crayon with all your nice clothes.

Rule number two, Dont let your two year old sleep with you, because she will figure out how to get out of her bed and come in your room at midnight expecting to sleep with you the rest of the night.

Rule number three, check your dates over and over! (Yesterday I got the kids ready and super excited to go to Ethan's preschool for a valentines party only to find out that it is tomorrow, they were pretty devastated!)

And finally Rule number four, when leaving your kids with your parents, leave your house key! (Dave and I went to a basketball game last night and I left the kids at Ethan's t ball practice with my parents only to realize that I had locked up our house and hadnt given them the key! And they couldnt simply take them to their house because they live forty five minutes away!)

It is definitely a day for the books!

Brianna Inman said...

Oh and I forgot to mention that laundry incident happened in my brand new dryer that has been a long time in coming! Not a good way to welcome a dryer into your house!

susanna said...

I love it, Bri! Sounds like a day at my house!