Monday, July 20, 2009

kung fu mommy

This Saturday, Addison got to go to his friends birthday party at a martial arts studio.
He was very excited. Until we got there.
Maybe it was all the parent on lookers but Addison did not want to participate in the exercises. The punches and wide horse stance and bowing and such.
I could tell he just needed a little prompting because normally Addison loves to punch things and stand like a horse.
His friend's mom, Katie, was also trying to persuade him to join in.
So she said, "Come on, we'll go to!"
So Katie and I took our flip flops off and made our way out onto the mat behind the line of little boys.
We were very obedient as to how to place our feet and punch at the air.
We were the very loudest at shouting "Kee-yah!" after each punch.
Then the intstuctor showed us how to place our feet for the side kick.
All this time, Addison stood off to the right of me and twice asked me,
"I don't want you to do kung fu, Mommy."
I think this is because he was dazzled by my form. The sheer audacity of my shouts and punches.
Or maybe he had a premonition of the future since my first kick landed on his jaw and sent him reeling backwards with a bloody lip.
Yes, a bloody lip. Who knew I had such powerful kicks and absolutey no coordination and foresight into where such a kick would land?
As Katie kept up her kicks, I whipped Addie up in my arms and flew to the restaurant
next door for an ice filled coke to staunch the blood flow.
I was also hoping to bribe him a bit with a large carbonated beverage to get that horrified "my-mom-just-kicked-me-in-the-mouth" look off of his face.
As Addie soothed himself with a coke, we headed back to the studio to watch his friends finish the class.
He only ventured back on the mat once the goodie bags came out.
One of the dad's glanced over at me and asked, "Is he okay?"
"You mean, since I kicked him in the face and gave him a bloody lip?" I answered.
"Should I call CPS now?" he asked.
I hope he holds off on making that call.
But if they come to try and question me, I guess I can use my ninja kicks to fend them off.

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Girly Muse said...

Oh, super cringe! I'm so feeling the pain of this for both of you...but it's still so stinkin' funny.

Hopefully this will be something that Addison can one day laugh about too. :)

The Oswalds said...

Oh no! But funny! But oh, sorry. :o)

Lois Lane II said...

Oh my goodness!!! Poor thing, but, hey, I'm sure y'all will all laugh about it in the future...

Rachel said...

You are soooooo human and I love it!

~beautyandjoy~ said...

Commented on FB but just wanted to say I am happy to find you here. :)

Robin said...

Very cute! I came to your blog via Rene Gutteridge's newsletter. I can't wait for my library to get your book so I can read it! I have a book blog that I post on - Robin's Reading Room and I will share about it after I've read it. I love you blog name - it's great.

Sharon Simon said...

Too funny (since he's ok)! This is absolutely something I can imagine happening to me. Good for you with the quick "beverage" recovery!!