Sunday, January 24, 2010

still searching for grace

It seems the search for grace still continues in my life.
No matter that I wrote a book on it.
I'm a pilgrim on the grace journey, people.
My nature seems to lean towards the belief that if God really knew me and what I've been up to that he would pin me under his thumb, disappointed in me,
tired of my mess ups and listing off of all the wrongs I've done.
Now that is not what the Bible says. I know that. I know there is grace to be had.
But sometimes this the reality of what I feel in my gut when I have those days that I yell at my children and I am a less than wife and I don't know how to follow Jesus in the day to day.
I let the condemnation creep in with a little depression on the side.
All because I forget to believe the truth.
The truth that God is mercy and love and peace incarnate and that he would much rather give me a hug than pin me under his thumb.
I love any time that someone reminds me that I am wrong.
Wrong about how God sees me. Wrong about who I am.
Wrong about the measure of love and grace that Jesus has for me.
The other Sunday, our friend, Micah, led worship and he sang a song by Jimmy Needham.
Forgiven and loved.
And the chorus says this,
I tried and tried to rectify my hopeless situation
But I've bought the lie I still have work to do
Now I'm working 9 to 5 like I can earn my own salvation
But there is no condemnation in you.

and ends with the bridge...
Child, you're forgiven and loved.
Child, you're forgiven and loved.
Child, you're forgiven and child you are loved.
Child, you're forgiven and loved.

It brought me up short. I've been working a whole lot for my grace lately.
And it seems I've bought right into that 9 to 5 lie, Jimmy Needham.
But he is right. Grace has been given. And forgiveness. And love.
It's mine for the taking.
Seems I needed a little reminder of that truth.
I thought you might, too.



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10 comments:

Andrea said...

I am totally amazed by HIS grace,
andrea

Lindsy said...

Um....Love this song - so very much. Glad it gave you the reminder you needed - thanks for sharing that reminder with your readers too!

sugarnuggets said...

So true!
It's so easy to get bogged down...glad you were the reminder today :)

amyrehnae said...

ah, grace. hit hard with life this weekend, a life i did not ask for. a life that i have been believing for 8 months that HE would change. did he not promise us the desires of our heart?? and now this. is it the enemy coming back at me hard? is it that i am somehow not deserving? or is it that He has just forgotten about me and my daughter and the hurt we are going through? feeling lost, confused, angry, and in much need of some grace. and some answers. and some strength. but in lieu of all that, just pray, i guess...it's still all i know to do. thanks for letting us know we are not alone in this journey called life.

A. Hilborn said...

That's a beautiful post you shared with us. I just found your blog and love your inspiration. Thanks for sharing

A. Hilborn @ www.hilbornhaven.blogspot.com

Lindsey said...

Thanks! I needed that;)

Tanya said...

Love, love, love this song! Thanks for writing this post.

Second Thoughts said...

Just found your blog today through the prompting of Boo Mama over at her blog...I love what I've read so far and can't wait to read more. Your words were very timely for me today as I am disappointed in my mothering skills today...it all started with the accidental spill of a Cherry Icee and just went downhill from there. Really not a big deal, but sometimes just the little things get us frazzled! So thanks again for your words!

Tracey said...

I rock this song all the time, even bought the CD~~and I haven't bought a CD in a really long time! And I hate those days when I yell at my kiddos.

There is no condemnation in Christ.

thankful.

sister sheri said...

I was just talking to a new Christian about the very thing today... she is dealing with consequences from sins committed before her belief in God. I'll be forwarding this song to her. Fits perfectly.

God bless you!