It will be my first Mother's Day without my boys since I am away speaking this weekend.
And I miss them. Not so much since it is Mother's Day but just because I like them so much and they are off having fun without me.
They are so cute and all.
They are probably waching movies and playing video games with their dad, revelling in hot pockets and sugar cereal, living the good life.
But I can't stop thinking about the first time I met them.
There is this great love birthed in moms when they see their babies for the first time.
Those moments are locked in time. Like black and white pictures that I can pull up in my mind.
I remember them vividly.
With Jack, I remember him being so alert, looking straight at me with his great wide eyes.
And I was amazed at his small man wig. He had more hair than most full grown men.
I loved the weight of him in my arms, as if he fit me exactly.
He was cross-eyed in his hospital picture which I thought was adorable.
Scott? Not so much.
When Will was born, I could not stop smelling him. He had that new baby smell. He was so much himself right from the first.
His tiny hands were mini replicas of his dad's which endeared him to me right away.
His hair was highlighted with blond at the tips and he had tiny full lips that begged to be kissed.
He was so sweet I thought I might have to eat him.
He also was cross eyed in his hospital picture...Scott was not amused.
With Addison, I remember thinking "that baby is not small." And I was right.
As they lifted him off of my chest to move him to the scale, he weighed in at 9 lbs. 12 oz.
He was perfect. Round head. Perfect belly.
And a red birthmark on his arm shaped like an "f".
I told Scott it stood for "Foth", my maiden name.
Since none of the boys looked like me, I had stamped this on for my own.
Scott refused to let me get a hospital picture of Addison even though I was sure he would be strong and keep his eyes focused.
And now as I think of them, growing, strong, funny, creative, I am unbelievably proud and thankful.
Tonight I am missing Jack's quick wit, Will's spontaneous dancing and Addison's good night kisses that cover my face.
And I am completely and thoroughly in love with them in a sickening "I heart my kids" kind of way.
I love being a mom for three reasons...Jack, Will and Addison.
I hope they are thinking of me, knowing I love and miss them, despite their high living and concentrated sugar intake, because I do.
As my Grandma and Grandpa Blakeley used to say..."I love them the most."