Wednesday, June 30, 2010

sometimes you should look before you brush

Yesterday morning I was in one of those "notice-the-details" kind of moods.
You know, when you notice all the fingerprints on the windows, the dirty baseboards,the lint balls gathered in the corners of the bathroom.
Usually, I train my mind to meander past these things because in a house of 4 boys, 1 big and 3 small, I have learned I am fighting a losing battle when it comes to the details.
There are two categories of clean in my house....
1. Clean it right now (any kind of bodily fluids, stains on clothes or upholstery, large piles of chips on the carpet, unspeakable smells emanating from rug, bathrooms, biohazard areas - bathroom and kitchen - these get regular attention)
2. Clean it before the children leave home for college (everything else)
But every once in a while I have a small system in place that I cling to.
A small realm of clean that I try and keep that way so I can pretend the rest of my house is clean.
Like in my bathtub. I have a small toothbrush placed in there so I can work on the grout if I ever see mildew or that weird pink mold starting to gain a foothold.
The caulking is another story. That is due for an overhaul this summer.
But back to yesterday morning and my noticing the details... I noticed that my wedding ring was looking particularly dull.
I wear an heirloom wedding ring, vintage from the 1920's.
It was my father-in-law, Dave's, grandmother's wedding ring.
I love it.
It is a brilliant cut diamond in a square setting surrounded by a miriad of tiny diamonds.
And it is sparkly. I love sparkly so I try to keep it sparkly by cleaning it regularly.
So I yesterday morning I grabbed my grout toothbush out of the shower and went
to town on my wedding ring with a little soap and water until is sparkled like crazy.
Praise the Lord one thing in my house was shiny clean!
And then a few minutes later I went to town on brushing my teeth....
also with the grout toothbrush.
Because sometimes, girls, the mind is not what it should be.
It was not til I began to taste a somewhat soapy not so toothpaste-y taste in my
mouth that I thought,
"Hmmm, these toothbrush bristles feel different...and why am I frothing at the mouth with soap bubbles...and ohmylordy I am brushing my teeth with my grout toothbrush!"
This produced some gagging and a lot of rinsing, some gargling and some more rinsing, a complete rebrushing of the teeth with my real toothbrush and more toothpaste and still my mouth felt like it had been violated.
It had been. So where does that leave me?
Only the 4 year old was brave enough to kiss me yesterday after the boys heard what went down.
Scott and the older two boys spurned my affections. Due to grout mouth.
And I have decided to try and forget yesterday's mishap and let the details go.
And I'm getting a new type of grout brush that looks nothing like a toothbrush for the shower because history must not repeat itself.
Live and learn, tsgs. Live and learn.

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danielle said...

On time I almost brushed my teeth with face lotion... got it up to my mouth before I realized what I was doing...I think you have me beat...just repeat over and over "God made dirt, so dirt don't hurt"- does that hold any truth? Who knows- but it will make you feel better.

Rebecca said...

Hilarious to read - but probably not as funny to live with grout mouth. I bet most people have a similar 'almost happened' experience of some sort. Thanks for making me laugh today!

Katy W. said...

and this complete honesty is why we love you! Thanks for making my day!

The Oswalds said...

Hillarious! Sorry, I am sure it wasn't at the time. But really it is funny. Thanks for the laughs. Loving the new book! Just not getting much time to read these days.


Angel said...

That is too funny, sad but funny!! I would have been gagging too, maybe more than gagging!!

Love and blessings to you

deezmath said...

OMG!! That's the first belly shaking laugh I've had in DAYS! I don't know whether to hug you or slap you (due to said belly shaking a bit TOO long AFTER I was done laughing, if ya KWIM?) Anyway....thanks for always keepin' it real, Sue, and for allowing us to laugh with you. :-D xox

Girly Muse said...

hahahahahahahaha, so sorry. did you notice particularly white, sparkly teeth?

Nina said...

Yep, when Ella was a few months old I brushed with...DIAPER CREME! I had left it sitting next to the sink at in some middle-of-the-night-baby-stupor. Even now, I am still mad at whoever made those tubes so similar!

Laura said...

I hate to say this, but now that this story is out there in blogland, it's going to be harder to "let the details" go! But I loved it! Thanks for a good laugh!

Bronwen said...

HAA! I hear you!! I had a very similar experience last summer I hope you are well, grout mouth and all. xo-Bronwen

Kelly @ Love Well said...

On the upside, I bet you have no mildew growing on your gums this morning.


a journey of faith said...

heeheehee! I could 'feel your pain' on that one :D love your blog!!

Kim said...


Elaine said...

hilarious! Also, I just nominated you as a Versatile Blogger at

Rose's Blog said...

Hysterical...just too funny. We're using your book in our bible study. I'll have to share this with the girls.

Angie said...

This made me laugh OUT LOUD then I had to read it to my hubs. He laughed out loud too. Thanks for the comic relief. And I hope your grout mouth feels better today.

Once my brother came to visit (he was about 12). After a couple of days I realized that someone else was using my toothbrush. I asked little brother where his toothbrush was.....he answered oh in the bathroom. (I KNEW there was not an extra, strange toothbrush in my bathroom). I asked what color is your toothbrush? He replied it's's the red one in the bathroom. We had been using the same toothbrush for TWO DAYS!!! Gaggy.