Thursday, July 15, 2010

3 reasons i should stop wearing shorts

Summer always invites the wearing of shorter pants.
Because for some reason one's calves get so hot when it hits 80 degrees Fahrenheit.
Firstly, let's just say that I am thankful for the return of the longer short,
the cargo short, the capri.
I am thankful because no one should ever again have to wear the dolphin shorts that I sported in 7th grade.
The true short dilemma is introduced when we try to wear a short above the knee.
Pros: a cooler leg
Cons: we have now exposed the knee in the fulness of its glory.
For those of you with stunning knees...rock on.
But for the first time in my life, I thought this year,
"I may be on the verge of old lady knees."
When the skin begins to show a little wear and tear
and the firmness of youth is waving bye-bye.
This is Reason #1 that I should stop wearing shorts.
The knee is thinking maybe at this time in life it should fold over on itself.
Why is it thinking that? No, knee, you should not fold over on yourself.
I beseech you, oh knee of mine, stand firm and defy the gravity that tries to pull you downward.
Reason #2 that I should not wear shorts is that in the presence of so much exposed skin,
my 4 year old cannot stop touching my legs.
He grabs a handful of leg and says, with great joy,
"Mom, I love your chuvvy, chuvvy legs!" (chuvvy = chubby in Addie lingo)
This is disheartening to say the least.
While I am allowed to say that I love his chubby belly,
he is not allowed to say that he loves my chuvvy legs.
And being the tactile person that he is,
Addison had another question yesterday when he happily gripped my leg,
"Mom, why do you have so many spikes on your legs?"
Reason #3 that I should consider a nice linen slack for this summer...
Who has time for a daily shave? Not I.
So there you have it. The short debacle.
I am pondering all these things in my heart....but in the meantime....
I am wearing shorts.
Because my calves are hot.

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Angel said...

This is a great post!! I love that your son says "chuvvy", but you are right hearing it about your legs would not be so wonderful!!

I love how you ended it with you are wearing shorts because your calves are hot!!

Love and Blessings

Erica said...

I think Scott would totally agree that your calves are hot! Keep rockin' the shorts, girl!

Patty Martin said...

You GO, girl!!
It's YOUR life - enjoy it the way YOU want to do so.....we all have knees that start folding on themselves as we age.....just think of the alternative! I laughed all the way thru this post.
Love ya!

Donna said...

Hi Sue,
Hilarious post. I am having shorts issues too - mainly due to heredity and strange blue lines running along the backs of my knees. Is it worth the $800 surgery to wear short shorts again? Not for me, at least not for now.