Friday, August 6, 2010

unexpected

This summer has been unexpected.
You know, like when you think your life is going to look one way and
it smacks you up side the head and takes a completely different turn?
Unexpected.
It hasn't been unexpected in a bad way...no tragedies, no earth shattering changes,
just the occasional,
"Sweet Hosannas! I didn't see that coming."
My mom and I were talking on the phone last night and came to the conclusion that we really would like to control the universe...at least our own personal universe.
And a lot of times, life reminds us that we are not in charge of our universe or any other for that matter.
We don't get to decide. Someone else is calling the shots. It's unnerving.
Addison feels the same way everytime I tell him it's time to go to bed.
He gets a panicked look in his eye that says,
"Well, that is not what I had planned for the evening."
Last night when I told him it was time to go to bed, he crumpled sobbing on the couch.
Now he knows I am not down with fits and my response to a hissy is usually to send him to bed earlier.
But I walked over to the couch and sat next to him and said,
"What is going on, buddy?"
And between sobs he said, "I just can't pull myself together."
I empathize with him greatly.
When my personal plans go awry I often feel scattered and find it difficult to pull myself together.
But this summer, as life has twisted and turned out of my palms (with me frantically grabbing for it) I am thinking two things.
1. I wish I could have gone swimming more. (Lola, I'm hitting your pool on Saturday!)
and
2. The one who has the ability to control the universe,
still carries my life in his palm.
And that is a comfort.

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12 comments:

Belle said...

I love this article. How I sometimes wish I was in control of something! I love what your son said to you. I'll have to use that the next time I am upset because it is exactly how I feel. I always need God to pull me back together.

Mariel said...

amen!! I just posted on thanksgiving to God! I LOVE that then i stop here and you are thanking Him, too! What a sweet aroma His daughters' praises are!

danielle said...

Thank you for posting this... I am having one of those "just wanna crumple on the floor because I cant pull seem to myself together kind of days" where my thoughts run around like errant children in the park, I, the worn out mommy just cant collect them. And on top of that my brother and sister-in-law have descended on the house. Agg... Thank you for the reminder that we don't have to be in control because God is. Amen

Laura said...

Oh I hear you with this post! I so would like to control my universe...but then I think about how easily I would mess it up and I'm thankful that God is wiser than that, and hasn't given me the control that I so desperately think I want!

henryjz said...

Yup, it's been one of those summers for us, too :) Thanks for that post; very encouraging.

BTW, next time Scott and I hit the Adventure Playground... you and Erin will have to come along :)

~beautyandjoy~ said...

Exactly!

Not what I planned on, hissies, lack of control and need more swimming. :)

Thanks for writing this. xo

Beth K said...

I absolutely needed to hear this today! I definitely had a "crumple up on the couch" and "can't pull myself together" kind of afternoons. And we most certainly have had life take some major unexpected turns this summer! Frankly I'm ready for a break! Thanks for reminding me who's in charge and calling the shots!

scott aughtmon said...

gr8 post [:)]- from your son jack

Sheila said...

Oh I can sure understand you lil guy and his "not being able to hold it all together"ness. I just started readin My Bangs and I love it...and when you made mention about writing on you blog...I thought OH MY I need to check it out...loved your 1st book. My good friend Dee Kasberger aka Redletterwords Lady has given me a personally signed copy of both...I cherish them! Thanks for sharing yourself with the rest of us tired supergals. LUVYA!

sister sheri said...

Love your two things! Wishing it was warmer here to do the first, but knowing I can do the second year-round!

Katy W. said...

AMEN! I have been laughing this summer about how many of my personal plans completely fell flat or were overridden by more pressing things. CRAZY! Love knowing, too, that while I may not be in control, I can trust the One who is. THANKS!

Rachel said...

My summers never go the way I imagine. Thanks for the reminder that our lives rest in the palm of our creator! I can rest in that!