You know, like when you think your life is going to look one way and
it smacks you up side the head and takes a completely different turn?
It hasn't been unexpected in a bad way...no tragedies, no earth shattering changes,
just the occasional,
"Sweet Hosannas! I didn't see that coming."
My mom and I were talking on the phone last night and came to the conclusion that we really would like to control the universe...at least our own personal universe.
And a lot of times, life reminds us that we are not in charge of our universe or any other for that matter.
We don't get to decide. Someone else is calling the shots. It's unnerving.
Addison feels the same way everytime I tell him it's time to go to bed.
He gets a panicked look in his eye that says,
"Well, that is not what I had planned for the evening."
Last night when I told him it was time to go to bed, he crumpled sobbing on the couch.
Now he knows I am not down with fits and my response to a hissy is usually to send him to bed earlier.
But I walked over to the couch and sat next to him and said,
"What is going on, buddy?"
And between sobs he said, "I just can't pull myself together."
I empathize with him greatly.
When my personal plans go awry I often feel scattered and find it difficult to pull myself together.
But this summer, as life has twisted and turned out of my palms (with me frantically grabbing for it) I am thinking two things.
1. I wish I could have gone swimming more. (Lola, I'm hitting your pool on Saturday!)
2. The one who has the ability to control the universe,
still carries my life in his palm.
And that is a comfort.