the big rock

I was reading The One Life Solution by Henry Cloud the other day
and he gave an illustration about time management saying
that our life is like a vase.
In this vase we put the big rocks (the important things in our lives),
little rocks (less important things in our lives),
and sand (all the little things that soak up our times).
And he mentioned that we have to put the big rocks in first,
the little rocks, then the sand or else it won't all fit.
This way we accomplish the things that are most valuable
in each of our days.
It was a reminder to me that I need to be intentional about the
the things that matter most to me.
Because really, it seems to me many of my days are quite sandy.
Like maybe I live at the beach.
A million different petty things suck up my time
I end up thinking,
"Where did that day go and why am I still holding the big rocks?"
The big rocks in my life are being with Scott,
spending time praying for my friends and one on one time with my kids.
And then there is the big writing rock (boulder)
and the teaching preschool rock and the church rock.
Most of my big rocks revolve around relationships.
But instead of being full of important interactions with people
my life's vase seems to be mostly full
of housekeeping pebbles and some late night tv sand.
So I have decided to do something different these last few weeks.
Because I have always been completely lame about daily devotions.
(I'm sorry that I have so disappointed you with my lack of discipline...
please join me in being disgusted with myself.)
I want my time with God to be my first rock.
No matter what... even if I am running late and
have to skip a shower to make it to work on time
(again digusted with myself)
my first moments of the day get to be God's.
A morning shout out, if you will.
When my alarm goes off, in that twilight between wake and sleep,
I am starting to offer my day to him. Praying. Thinking about him.
Thanking him for this new morning.
And I have been reading Philippians. Mostly because I like it.
(I think it would be more difficult wake up to Leviticus.)
Some days I read the whole book
and some mornings just a few verses depending
but no matter what, I want Jesus to know he gets first dibs.
First dibs on my life. My brain. My relationships. My schedule. My time.
And the the craziest thing of all is that
something has happened since I started this.
Jesus has begun to fill me up with some peace.
Which is, as you know, hard to come by.
I've been feeling a little more settled. And I'm not yelling as much.
Which is a bonus for Scott and the boys.
So I'm starting out this day with a pocket full of rocks
and a hope that I will fit them all in.
That this will happen is debatable.
But mostly, I am realizing that the first rock in the vase....
can make a big difference.