Tuesday, June 19, 2012

i'm eve's twin

I am kind of obsessed with Eve.
I think it is because I am so much like her.
Why after all God had done for her
(i.e. great husband, nice digs, free food, stress free life)
did she think she should try and find a different path for herself?
Why did she question his goodness? Why did she doubt him?
I don't know.  Why do I?
This summer we had plans. For jobs, vacation and writing.
And in the last couple of weeks,
it's been like watching a carefully rolled ball of twine unfurl,
the summer has come unraveled.
Once again life has thrown us for a loop.
Things are nebulous and undecided at best.
And I find myself thinking things like....
God is not so concerned about us.
We are on our own.
What in the world are we going to do?
I am a girl who likes to plan....
And more than once in the last couple of weeks, I have found myself in tears.
Disappointed. Discouraged. Tired.
And then I have thought to myself...maybe this a test.
To see if I will trust him when I have no idea what is going on.
Maybe just this side of July there will be all the great fullness of joy that I hoped for.
Maybe everything will right itself and be better than I imagined.
But here is the thing. We just don't know.
And I have been thinking this thought:
Our character is defined by our greatest disappointments.
Who are we when we are faced with hardship or trials or summer plans gone awry?
Who are we when the things we have banked on are no longer bankable?
Are we frantic and wounded casting around for better options...or
do we hold firm to what we know to be true?
And who is God when our life takes a different turn than we planned?
When Eve stood at the tree with a well bitten apple core at her feet
only one person had changed. That was Eve. But God was still God.
In all of his goodness and mercy and grace,  he was the same.
So I am reminding myself that my ears are easily bent to lies of the one who
would like me undone when I am discouraged. I need to tell the snake to take a hike.
And I need to stand on the truth of who God is and his plan for me.
His plan for me....when all else fails....is to do the thing that he called me to do.
Believe he is who he says he is. Father. Provider. Healer. Savior. Friend.
And to remember that above all else, that he is the one I can always bank on.


lyndabyrd said...

Thanks, Sue. I needed this. I am right there with you. Trying hard to keep my focus!

susanna said...

That is the hard part, isn't it, Lynda! God bless and keep you as you stay close to him!