Wednesday, June 4, 2014

13 questions that we are all asking now that it is summer

1. Wasn't it just January?
2. How did my summer clothes shrink when I haven't washed them since last summer?
Drawer humidity? Outer space Shrink Ray? Black Magic?
3. Why are my kids eating 5700 calories a day without growing out of their clothes? Does the month of June automatically ramp up their metabolism? If so, why hasn't it ramped up mine?
4. Wasn't it just January?
5. Is there scientific proof that packing the car for vacation is known to trigger nervous breakdowns?
6. Does frozen food count as a serving of fruit if it has a fruit in the name?
Strawberry ice cream? Pineapple popsicles? Black Cherry slushies?
7. Are there actually swimsuits for sale that offer full coverage without making you look like you are a 75 year old granny wearing a spandex maxi dress?
8. Is there anything cuter than seeing your sun kissed kids passed out in the backseat of the car on the way home from an afternoon at the pool? Is there a way to make them stay this way after you pull into your driveway?
9. Why does everything taste better when it is cooked outside over an open flame?
10. Why am I gripped by an uncontrollable desire to run through sprinklers and chase ice cream trucks?
11. Why do people who should never wear tiny swimsuits always wear tiny swimsuits?
12. Do long car rides with children lower your life expectancy? Does the amount of children in the car directly correlate with the number of years shaved off of your life?
13. How long until school starts up again?

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