Thursday, July 3, 2014

the children are hungry

I currently have an 13 year old boy, an 11 year old boy and an 8 year old boy living in my house.
After having just faced down an salmonella epidemic for the past month,
it seems to have triggered a house wide eating craze.
Meals have become moot. They are eating. A. Lot. All. Day. Long.
The cupboards are bare. Even though I spent $100 on groceries yesterday.
The thirteen year old is inhaling food like it is air. As if it has no effect on him whatsoever.
In the past month he has grown an inch and leap-frogged a whole shoe size.
Yesterday morning, the 11 year old was coming towards me down the hall and
he looked taller.
Taller than he did the day before. Which seemed strange.
We had just measured their heights a week ago but I made him step up to the wall again.
He had grown 3/4 of an inch in 9 days.
9 days.
The 8 year old is taking them all down.
He is about 3 inches taller than the other two were at his age.
Scott had told me yesterday, "You have been spending a lot of money."
I have only been home from Colorado for a week.
I couldn't recall spending a lot of money on anything fun.
We looked over the purchases I had made.
One trip to Home Depot for flowers. 15 trips to the store for food.
Is is possible to eat a flat of nectarines in a day? Yes. Yes, it is.
A box of cereal in one sitting? Yes. A bag of rice crackers in 10 minutes? Again, yes.
I am thinking of plowing up the lawn in the backyard and putting in corn.
For the coming winter. Maybe wheat and oats in the front yard. We need filler.
Last night at dinner, they tried to start eating the food before it made it on the table.
As I was walking toward the table with a bowl of teriyaki meatballs,
the 13 year old tried to intercept me with a fork.
I spoke harshly and pointedly,
"If you touch that meatball, you lose video games for a week."
The 11 year old swooped in with his fork as soon as the bowl hit the table."
"Back away from the meatballs! What is wrong with you?
Everyone has to sit down at the table. Then we will pray. Then we will eat."
I explained this as if we have not been doing this same routine for the entirety of his life.
At that point, Scott took over saying, "I will serve the food."
Not because he was being kind. He just wanted to be sure that he got some meatballs.
It seems if Scott and I want any dinner, we are going to have to fight for it.
It is all making sense now why I found candy bar wrappers in my mom's purse when I
was a child.
The poor woman was starving.
I have started hoarding protein bars. I get angry when the children eat them.
I caught the 8 year old eating one yesterday.
"Those are for Mom. You don't even like them. Remember? You said you don't like them."
He shrugged. "I'm hungry."
It's like a plague of locusts have moved into my house.
They will eat their way through whatever they find.
My parents have some friends who sell organic beef and bison.
I'm thinking our next step is to buy a whole buffalo.
Today is Thursday....maybe it will last until Monday.


Bonnie said...

I can relate to this! My grocery bill seems to have doubled since having teenagers and when they have friends over my grocery run is gone within an afternoon! Made me laugh again....

ChristianMom2Boys said...

I'm scared to laugh. It's hilarious. But then I think back to our past dinners, the boys fighting over the last piece of bread or whatever it may be. I think we'll be there soon. lol! I feel your pain with the protein bars. I will specifically buy snacks that the boys don't like, in order to preserve some food in this house that won't be gone instantly. But once their snacks are gone, mine follow. lol!