Wednesday, July 15, 2015

i still want more things

Hi, My name is Susanna...and I am a coveter.
And lately, I have been coveting a lot of things.
Like houses and new shoes.
A better salary and more kid workers for our church's kids program.
I want more likes on my facebook page and more time to relax.
I want more miles so I can fly and see my parents in Colorado
and I want more dates with Scott.
I am an out and out coveter on all fronts.
And the worst part?
The wants? They don't go away.
Every time a want is fulfilled? A new want arises in its place.

Case in point?
We have two very old cars.
One of them decided to finally die.
So we made the leap and bought another used car.
But it is a beautiful used car that is only 5 years old...instead of 15 years old.
So now we refer to our cars as the "new car" and the "ugly car".
Not one of us wants to ride in the ugly car.
It smells like 6 year old milk.
In fact, we all want to ditch the ugly car entirely and get another new car.
See what I mean? The wants? They keep coming.

Getting more doesn't seem to make us want less.

It is hard to sift through the wants that are good and healthy
and the wants that are just filling me with discontentment.
I think there is a reason that coveting is listed in The Ten Commandments.
Thou shalt not covet.
I think it is because the wants seem to empty you of all gratitude.
They suck the joy right out of your day and you forget to thank Jesus for the things
He has given you like the ability to breathe and move and live, in general.
I think that is why the Holy Spirit keeps bringing it to my attention
each time I want to veer into the Ross parking lot
and see how many cute shirts I can get for $20.
He is saying,

You think that this is what you want....but it isn't.
What you really me.
What you need to look me.
What you need to focus me.
If you are chasing me...everything else will fall in place.
(p.s. you don't need 7 shirts from Ross...even if they are on sale.)

There is a verse that He has recently brought to mind....
Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness
And all these things shall be added unto to you.

It's funny.
Somehow it always comes back to Him.
His deliverance.
His mercy.
His grace.
If I take care of putting Jesus first.....
He takes care of everything else.
And if I am being honest?
That is all that I really...want.

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