I always like to say that our family lives in a state of happy chaos.
Sometimes there is more happy.
Sometimes there is more chaos.
This morning the gods of chaos reigned supreme.
Jack is going on all high school retreat which Scott happens to be the speaker for.
Addison is having his first field trip which I happen to be a chaperone for.
Trying to get everyone clothed, fed and in the car, with permission slips, suitcases,
bedding, toiletries, sermon notes, small group ideas,
and a towel for making adobe bricks (Addie's mission field trip),
proved to be more than our fragile organizational skills could handle.
For some reason, Scott could only find one of his shoes.
It is difficult when the person who can't find their shoe is an adult.
It felt wrong to ask him, "Where did you have it last?"
Tension was building as Jack realized that he still had a permission slip
left to be signed and could we please pay for a round of paint ball during the retreat?
Yes to signing the permission slip.
Yes to paintball.
I began the round up yell of the morning, "Everyone in the car!!!!!"
The children headed out the door.
One came back. He had forgotten his toothbrush.
The morning was slipping away.
Scott still couldn't find his shoe and had to settle for an old
pair of tennis shoes and jumped in the car.
We loaded up and headed down the street.
"Do you have your notes?'
"Yes."
"Did you get your computer?"
"Yes.....but I forgot my wallet."
We drove around the block and back into the driveway.
Scott grabbed his wallet and we headed up the street again.
As we eased onto the freeway, Scott said,
"I forgot my belt."
I said, "Well, you can use mine but then I won't have anything to hold up my pants."
A pleading voice came from the backseat,
"Dad, please don't take Mom's belt."
This voice was Addie's, the child I would be accompanying on his field trip.
There was a hint of fear in his plea.
He has seen what happens when Mom doesn't wear a belt with low rise jeans.
A debate ensued.
What would be more scarring?
The high school kids seeing Scott's crack or the fourth graders seeing mine?
Then came the discussion about who was more like a plumber...Scott or me.
To which I was offended.
Because I had taken care of my business.
I had taken steps to ensure that my pants would stay up.
I had my belt on.
I was not intending to scar anyone....Scott on the other hand.....not so much.
In the end, we decided that since Scott was going to be gone for 4 days
he was more in need of the belt.
Then the second plea came from the back seat.
"Ok, Mom, but please just DON'T BEND DOWN on my field trip."
To which I agreed.
No bending down.
Then I asked Addie, "Did you remember to grab the towel I put out for you?
No. He did not. He had no towel to clean up his brick making efforts.
We were all a bit frazzled.
But I promised Addie Dad and I would run to the store
and see if we could find a towel before his field trip.
We dropped everyone off and high tailed it down to Starbucks
(because it was necessary to life at this point)
and to Rite Aid (which hopefully had towels.)
And lo and behold, what did we find at the end of the towel aisle in the Rite Aid?
A rack of belts.
I am not even kidding.
Who knew they sold both towels and belts at Rite Aid?
And what are the odds that they would be on the same aisle?????
It was if the heavens opened up and said,
"We have seen your plight and heard your cries....and evermore we shall say....
BELTS FOR EVERYONE! 2 FOR $10!
GO FORTH AND DO NOT HITHERTO EMBARRASS YOUR CHILDREN
OR YOUR CHILDREN'S FRIENDS!
KEEP YOUR PANTS RIGHT WHERE THEY SHOULD BE!"
It was a good moment.
A happy moment.
After all the chaos.
So today we are embracing the famous words of my brother, Chris,
"Just say no to crack."
We invite you and all the plumbers everywhere in the world to join us.
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