Sunday, April 10, 2016

so I may need a hand....or seven

The other day, Scott asked me
if I was going to be a part of the parenting challenge at our church
and I burst into tears.
Not because I abhor a good parenting challenge.

But my ability to take on ONE MORE THING is gone.
Scott looked at me like, "Oh, dear Lord, not again."

I tried to explain my imminent nervous breakdown.
"It's not that I don't want to be a part.
I just don't think I can track one more thing."

That unleashed the floodgate of the list.
You know the list.

"I haven't paid the bills yet.
I still have to finish the taxes.
The house looks like something died inside it.
I'm behind on my chapters.
We need to take the car in.
Do you think its leaking oil?
I need to get my website up before Mother's Day.
You know I am terrible at marketing.
I haven't gone to the grocery store for a full run in about three weeks.
The kids are down to eating chocolate chips and spaghetti noodles.
I have no idea what we are having for dinner.

The kids have early pick up today."

Early pick up is the work of the devil in case you didn't know.
It throws all kinds of wrenches in my gears.
Not the least of which being, that I have actually forgotten to GO EARLY
to pick the children up.

Scott looked at me.
And then he said, "How about I pick up the kids today? Would that help?"
That made me cry more.
"You would do that for me?"
"I would do that for you."

There is nothing so loving and kind as lifting someone else's burden.
Especially someone who has clearly lost their mind.

It is saying, "I see that you are struggling. It's okay. Let me take that for you."

Just like that, Scott lifted something heavy from my workload.
And gave me room to breathe.
Not because he wasn't busy himself...but because he loves me.
He loves me and he likes it when I don't cry.

And then he told me, "You can do this, Sue."
Because he knows that when I get overwhelmed, I get scared.
And start to shut down and want to drown my sorrows in Dr. Pepper or coffee
or some other caffeinated beverage.

His encouragement bolstered me up.
His belief in me relieved another kind of burden...
my doubt that I can make it in these coming weeks.

I realized one more time...I am not alone in the struggle.

Scott is doing God's good work.
He is a good man.
He has been picking up the pieces of my chaos for the last month or so.
Speaking truth to me, cooking dinner,
parenting the boys (he is on point with the challenge),
and telling me one more time
that it is good to be alive....even when it is stressful.

And even better, reminding me that life is at its best when we do it together.


Michelle Nickel said...

Oh my goodness, first of all, THIS IS SO MY LIFE. As I am up reading this I am over ordering Catnip in Bulk for a Girl Scout event I am hosting this weekend. Sounds so absurd, even as I type it. I started this order days ago but never hit the "send" button. I cower in the shadow of one of our Type A moms, and I told her I would take care of this. The truth is, I am also overwhelmed, and saying NO IS TOO HARD. I work part time, so I volunteer for everything. I am putting together a hand made Crafty Cook Book and Rustic Herb Garden for our Classroom Auction Gala I can't even go to! I really love it all, and delight in much, but somehow I just keep adding, knowing that simplifying looks a lot like the Peace that God truly has for me....waiting for me. Sigh.
Also, you must know that I had to click on your blog, as I went to Bethany when your Dad was President. Leonard is my last name, we definitely hung out a few times for sure. Loved getting insight into your equally over busy life.
It's ok to say no, I just need some practice.

Mary Martha said...

My husband is like that too. Prayers and blessings. Looking forward to your next book :-)