Wednesday, July 13, 2016

look at my face

Because of my job, I look at screens. All. The. Time.
And when I stop looking at the big screen in front of me,
somehow I end up reaching for a tiny screen in my purse to look at.

Since the boys have gotten out of school,
I have been trying to get my work done in the morning
and then spend some time looking at them.
Because I am tired of looking at my screen and hearing its siren song of
"I'm so important...don't ever stop staring at me."

I am realizing that for me, staring at a screen for days on end
makes my back seize up and my calves hurt.
And it distracts me from important things like listening to my children
and eating cookies.

Okay...maybe I eat cookies while looking at my screen.
But it is really hard for me to hear what someone is saying to me
when I am staring at a headline or listening to song or answering an email.

So for the rest of my summer...all four weeks of it...
I have decided I want to look at real people and their faces.
Mostly, my people. Because I find them riveting.

My people's faces are changing every day.
My oldest, Jack, is looking more and more like a man. It matches the deepness of his voice.
Which seems crazy. Because in my heart he is stuck around age seven.

Will isn't far behind. The shape of his jaw is changing and somehow his grin is wider.
His hair is getting darker. Yesterday, his voice couldn't decide whether to stay in an
the upper or lower register when he was talking to me and Jack looked at me and said,
It is true. The teenage years are upon him.

Addison still looks like a boy. Thank God.
But he has lost all the sweet baby chub of his toddler years and it looking like a boy on a mission.
Mostly a mission to torment his older brothers.
Yesterday, he waylaid Will while he was out walking the dog with a Nerf attack.

And Scott, his is my favorite face of all. Mostly because of the love look that he gives me.
And when it breaks into a grin. And when he is playing with the boys and making them laugh.
I love his face. I love all their faces.

I love their different smiles.
I love holding their hands.
I do not love it when they tickle me, however. That I could do without.
I love the sound of laughter that springs from them.
I love the way that their minds work and hearing what they think about.

So for the rest of the summer...face time....will actually be face time.
Eye to eye. Talking and listening. Real people in the same room connecting.

I'm sure it will completely freak my children out to have me looking at them continually.
That's just a bonus. I may have to throw in a few winks and cross my eyes.
This could be fun.

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