Wednesday, October 26, 2016

this is us

20 years ago, on this very day, Scott and I took hold of each other in marriage.
Marriage is a rollercoaster-y kind of journey
But we haven't let go yet.
It has been exhilarating and breath taking.
And there has been some screaming involved...a few turns we never saw coming.

But there is no other person in this galaxy that I want to be tethered to.
Scott is the one for me.
He is my best friend.

The person in the world who makes me laugh the hardest.
The one who listens to my heart and comforts me.
The one who challenges me and makes me think.
The man who taught me what goodness and hope looks like.
I can't get enough of him.

I think it was G.K. Chesterton who said,
"Marriage is an going to war."
And we have fought this war of togetherness, side by side, for 20 years.
We have fought for love and understanding and grace.
And we have fought against anger and distance and unforgiveness.

Every day we wake up and get to choose each more time.
We don't always get it right.
But we are still the right ones for each other.

My heart still does little flips when he looks at me and says, "You are cute."
They aren't the same kind of heady, dewy eyed flips of two decades ago.
They are the grounded, solid, we've-been-through-some-crap-together-but-I-still-like-kissing-you
kind of flips.
The good kind.

My sister, Jenny, asked me this morning, "How does it feel to be married for two decades?"
And I said, "Accomplished."
Who knew we could do it? It happened only by the grace of God,
Because we are still struggling, learning, mistaking and scrambling to get this thing together.
We are not there yet. Not by a long shot.
But together, we are becoming who Jesus meant us to be all along.

We have twenty years of road behind us...I hope we have at least forty more to go.
I don't know what the journey holds...but whatever it brings...
I want us to be holding on to each other.
Because Scott is what loves looks like to me.

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