Wednesday, November 16, 2016
a small word for the guy at ross for less who asked me if I qualified for the Tuesday discount....
Dear Guy at Ross....
Let's just start out by saying it has been a rough 3 months in the health department for me.
3 broken toes and a sprained foot tend to slow a girl down.
I will give you fact that my hobbling to the counter to purchase some black socks
to match my granny-fied orthopedic shoe may have been off putting.
I get it. Limping ages a person.
People who move at the pace of a sea turtle SHOULD be ancient.
Someone with pain mirrored in their eyes simply because they are trying to lift their feet
should get a discount. Just for trying.
It is okay to think that.
BUT....here...in this moment... is where you went awry.
When I limped up to the counter,
you let your thoughts actually come out of your mouth.
Has your mother taught you nothing? NOTHING?
When you asked me, "Do you qualify for the Tuesday discount?"
The one that only 55 year olds qualify for?
You took your life in your hands.
In my mind, I almost....almost....punched you right in the neck.
I know that is not right. I know you were trying to help me save 10%.
But if we are being honest, is it really worth your life to offer a 10% discount to someone?
Because if I was 55 and wanted 59 cents off of my purchase...I would have let you know.
Luckily, Jesus lives in my heart. His presence prevented me from acting out violently.
What He did not keep me from doing is piercing you with my laser eyes
and answering back with much venom, "No, I do not qualify for the Tuesday discount!"
When you tried to back pedal about how good everyone looks these days....
you did not help yourself.
Since apparently, I have aged a decade in the last quarter of the year.
I began to feel even more bitterness in my heart towards you in these moments.
Folks aren't shy about asking for discounts if they feel like they deserve them.
They do however become violent when those age related discounts are offered before their time.
That being said.
Jesus would want me to forgive you.
I am not quite there yet.
I am not that holy.
But I will give you a few pointers for next Tuesday, out of the graciousness of my heart,
and for the benefit of all the other Ross shoppers out there who you might accost with
your rude questions about discounts.
1. Keep your thoughts about how old people might or might not be in your head...
not coming out of your mouth. Mayhem could ensue otherwise.
2. Say this instead, "Hi! Can I help you? You look amazingly young!
If you were buying alcohol,here in Ross Dress for Less where they don't sell alcohol,
I would have to card you right now!"
These words will save your life.
And maybe a punch in the neck.
Looking Younger Every Day,
A NOT-EVEN-CLOSE-TO-55-YEAR-OLD SHOPPER