luckily, there is no body cam footage of my poor life choices

Yesterday, Addison and I were sitting on our couch taking in our
gagillionth episode of  Live PD: PD Cam.

For those of you who don't know, this is a show filmed completely
from the point of view of police officers' body cameras, dashboard cameras, or helicopter cameras.

I used to watch romantic comedies.
Now I live with teenage boys and watch shows about people getting arrested.
I am hoping my sons are picking up some life lessons here.

Don't do drugs. Or get drunk. Or steal guns. Or run from the law.
Always keep your pants on. Always.
It is amazing how many folks wander around in a state of undress.

The episodes are riveting. You are getting to see the valiant work that these officers
do on our behalf and the danger that they constantly put themselves in to protect
and serve their communities.

It is also riveting because the people breaking the law...have no common sense whatsoever.
I bless their hearts left and right.

"Why did he do that? Bless his heart."
"Can't she see that she is making it worse? Bless her heart."

You can't help feeling for them and their families.
You know that their impulsive decision making is wreaking havoc on their lives.

And because I become a part of whatever medium I am watching,
I try to coach them as they are making their horrific, poor choices.

"Stop hitting people!"

"Sweet mercy days! Why would you swallow all your drugs?"

"Don't flee the scene!" ( I am picking up police lingo on the side.)

"Just stop lying! He knows that is not your car!"

One of my more stellar comments yesterday was,

"Why are you so dumb?"

At this comment, Addison turned to me and said, "Mom, every person on this show is dumb."

To this I said, "Well, Jesus gives us brains and He wants us to use them."

He raised an eyebrow. "Mom, I am pretty sure that it doesn't say that anywhere in the Bible."

He had me there.

There is no commandment: Thou shalt not be dumb.

There is no verse reading: For heaven sakes, use the brain I gave you. Verily.

If there was, you should know that I have broken those commands a-plenty.

I just haven't had all my poor decisions filmed on a body cam...
and I will not be allowing drones in my living room any time soon.

What I do have, however, is a memory that tends to play back every poor decision
I have made on a regular basis. It's disheartening.

Worse than a 30 minute episode of PD Cam.

I tend to be fantastic at making poorly thought out, selfish choices.
My impulsive decisions can tend to wreak havoc on the ones I love most of all.

But here is the beautiful thing I am focusing on today.

I can't change the bad decisions I have made in my past.

But I can lean into the grace of Jesus and His goodness, going forward.
The crazy thing? Jesus' doesn't hold my sins against me.

He doesn't condemn me.

He has thrown open His arms to me and said,
"I love you so much. Let me forgive you for that giant mess you made.
And save you from yourself. Does that work for you?"

It does.
He is my help. And my shield.
He is going before me.
Making a way so that I don't have to make the same poor choices I did before.

With forgiveness and hope,
He is inviting me to trust Him to complete the good work He has begun in me.

Grounded in love.
Trusting His truth.

He leads me on His path of righteousness.
He transforms my thinking so that I can walk in His way.
He is making me into a new creation.

He is doing the same for you.

Bless our hearts.