Monday, April 23, 2007

Confession #3: I'm not down with bugs

I used to play with lightning bugs when I was little.
I have fond memories of time spent with roly polies.
But somewhere in between childhood and adulthood,
bugs and I parted ways.
Especially in the summer of 2003.
Cicadas invaded Virginia as they do every 17 years.
They covered everthing like a black crunchy blanket.
Being blind, they would often fling themselves at your forehead,
irregardless of your mindless screeching.
My mom and I were driving in the car with Jack and Will.
Jack began screaming frantically. (he was only 2)
I looked in the rearview mirror to see a lone cicada
creeping stealthily towards his ear.(red buggy eyed devil)
Madness ensued followed by ear splitting screams. (me and mom)
Immobilized by his carseat, terror widening his blue eyes,
Jack craned his neck as far as he could to the left.
I whipped the car into Ross parking lot. (nascar style)
And ninja mom that I am, (crouching tiger hidden Susanna)
Grabbed the nearest weapon (the diaper bag),
And began flailing,like a mommy windmill, at the cicada. (not affected)
Each time I whipped the bag towards Jack's head,
he would scream. I would scream. Mom would scream.
Will didn't care. (at 5 months, he had snacked on a cicada)
The creature was immovable. (unbelievable)
With one last full body lunge, I dislodged him.
He crawled away quietly. Not too concerned.
I, however, had been out-manuevered
by a bug with vision impairment. (And that hurts a little)
No, I am definitely not down with bugs.

Meet my nemesis...


julie said...

Was this the same shopping trip where the back hatch door shut on your ankles as you were attempting to maneuver a purchase into the cargo area? And your mom began giggling uncontrollably at the sight even as she asked if you were ok.

Just wondering.

aunt mary said...

What? No lizards tamed in 3 days to not run away when set down on the driveway? No snails brought inside to goo accross hands and windows? No pet rats to ride on shoulders, nibble at ears at kiss boy cheecks? No rock turning adventures discovering who knows what?
I'm afraid those courageous mommy days are coming :).

susanna said...

Sorry, Julie,it was not the same shopping trip with the severe injury. All ten of my toes were clipped by the volvo back hatch. I guess Mom and I have had several crazy shoppping instances. Let me just say she was not laughing when it came to the cicada - no one got hurt in a funny way and there was a flying insect involved. Aunt Mary, you know you are my hero with 7 boys. I'm okay with snails, I believe I could sitll tame a lizard, the rat I'm not sure about, as long as the critter isn't heading for my bangs I think I'll be okay. I love you guys! Sue

Lora said...

Good times, good times - those cicada days. Your mom's backyard was a virtual cicada training camp! Hopefully, Jack has blocked that story out of his mind :)


susanna said...

Jack actually has cicada flashbacks....a little bit like a vietnam vet. :) But we all survived it, didn't we. You only have 13 years to go until the next round! :)