I was examining my post baby body the other day.
I have never been bone thin nor do I strive to be,
but the full body cushioning that appeared with each pregnancy,
was disheartening to say the least.
And even though I breast fed each baby, I was never met by
the weight loss miracle claimed by some nursing moms.
Some friends would say,
"I just ate an entire 7 course buffet, polished off a cake,
nursed Bobby and dropped 5 lbs within the last 24 hours."
My body always likes to hold on to a good 15 lbs.
to aid in the high quality production of milk.
I had enough to feed a small nation.
It always takes me a good six months to drop the rest of the baby weight
when I have finished nursing.
And that is where I am now, amidst the drudgery of trying to lose
those last for-heavens-sake-would-you-just-go-already 10 lbs.
I can squeeze into my pre-pregnancy clothes
but I appear a bit sausage like.
If I sit down in my jeans, I feel faint because my airflow is cut off.
In the mail, I received a coupon for a free sample of
Sculptz Multi Shaper Shortz which claim I will instantly look slimmer
as it flattens my tummy, slims my thighs, shapes and lifts my rear,
and smooths my hips.
I once tried on a full body shaper and got my head and right arm
caught in the opening of its vise like grip.
I began to panic in the dressing room and
could not see my way clear through the lycra.
I almost had a cardiac arrest in Ross.
When I finally managed to get free, I hurled it to the floor,
symbol of oppression that it was.
I will be sticking to my weight loss regimen of eating lots of salads
and the occasional morning walk.
Not a quick method, I know, but it's doable and CPR is not required.
And as for sending away for the "super girdle",
I just want to know who put my name on their mailing list.