Thursday, September 27, 2007

hair scare

Today, while helping out at Jack's school,
I had a little girl look up at me and say,
"What happened to your hair?"
"My hair? Is it looking crazy?" I touched it gingerly.
She looked at me perplexed.
"How did you make it black and white?"
Black and and white....
This kindergartener must have been referring to the new hair
style that is all the rage with young mothers.
It's called color-your-hair-once-a-year-and-let-it-go.
And really it isn't so much black and white.
But a nice dark mousey brown root area laced with gray
and then fringed with yellowish whitish blonde ends where the sun
has frazzled the life out of the over processed hair
and turned it into the texture of straw.
I have a few hairstyles... pony up and go,
a couple of twirly knots at the base of the neck or slicked back.
I've worn it down a total of maybe 12 times since Addison was born.
That was 18 months ago. Today I wore it down.
And today, the reality of the situation was revealed.
We are in hair crisis, people.
The bangs are so long, they have limply grouped together
over to one side as a "unibang".
And whereas I used to have straight hair,it is now kinking and curling
in a rather unattractive Gene Wilder type manner.
And saddest of all, is that my hair stylist, who is a dear friend,
has sent me messengers.
People who go to her, who know me,
that are trying to do a hair intervention.
My sister, Jenny, brought the last message.
"Just go in, Sue, it will be okay."
I don't think she could look directly at my was too hideous.
The thing is I don't have the time or the funds
to repair the neglect that has been taken place.
You can't undo this look at supercuts, tsgs.
And did I mention there's a party this weekend?
What I really need is a spa day but I will have to settle for a self-trim.
Don't try and stop me. It must be done.
I just need to make sure the hands are steady
and I that I don't keep trying to even things out like I did that one time
when I ended up with Jim Carrey's dumb and dumber bangs.
As my mother-in-law says,
"Pray heavy, girls, pray heavy!"


Leslie said...

Oh I beg you-- step away from the scissors! It never ever ends well. Trust me...


Erica said...

Oh, Honey, do we need to take up a collection? Let me know!

upwords said...

Oh Sue. This was hilarious. Gene Wilder? Happy pampering but you're beautiful to me.

Anissa said...

What's wrong with pony tails everyday...this is what I have to ask in order to make myself feel good...*sigh* the mother of preschoolers hairdo, I really have no choice.

jessi said...

Funny, I not only have the same 'do, I apparently have the same color! But I agree, step AWAY from the scissors... a few years back I just couldn't 'let it go' with the color, and I'll just say that before it was over with, my hair was pink, purple and gray. My sister (a former hairdresser) was mortified and when i showed her what I had done, she dragged me - purplish/gray hair and all - into the salon store and made them call the 'color hotline'. It was mortifying. So I repeat - don't even TRY the cut!!!!

susanna said...

It's too late to step away from the scissors...the bangs are cut.:) But they are not half least my children didn't run from me screaming. Hopefully, this can tide me over until I can get in to see Dolly, my hair lady. Thanks for the prayers on my behalf! Sue