Tuesday, September 25, 2007

the evil one

It has come to my attention, with much apprehension on my part,
that this tired supergirl has an evil alter ego.
Kind of like the bad spiderman vs. the good spiderman in spiderman 3.
Except that she's not really so much evil as she is
weepy, irritable and enraged at the thought of cleaning.
And who is this malevolant creature,
who keeps rearing her ugly head in the tired super realm?
None other than psycho-hormonal girl (phg for short).
No, really, I'm not kidding.
In my my 20s, I was pretty much on an even keel.
There were moments of insanity and hysteria, mind you,
but it wasn't the norm.
My husband even went as far as to compliment me on
my lack of hormonal behavior and the absence of mood swings.
But no more. My 30s have ushered in the crazy.
And I've talked to some of my supergirlfriends
and they say they feel same.
It doesn't bode well, tsgs, it doesn't bode well...
for us or for our tired superguys.
Now it seems that on a semi-regular basis I have
a smidge of crazy going on,
thrown in with some general shortness of temper
and a whole lot of crying for no apparent reason.
It seems that with all the fluctuating hormone levels of 3 pregnancies
that somehow, my body forgot how to fight the good fight,
and return to normal Sue, and instead invited phg to join the party.
And the craziest thing of all is that in the moment,
whether I am feeling extremely irritated, teary-eyed or hot and angry,
I feel totally justified in that emotion.
It is only when I see the scared wide eyes of my children or
Scott giving me the "cuckoo for cocoa puffs" look that I think,
"Could I possibly be overreacting?" And then I think,
"No, I'm pretty sure everyone hurls themselves to floor sobbing
when they see how much dust is gathering on their entertainment center."
The other night, we were saying prayers and Jack added to his prayer,
"And God, please help mommy to not be so cranky
when she wakes up in the morning."
"Am I cranky?" I asked.
"Just a little," he said.
It is in moments like these when I think,
"Oh, Eve.....what have you done? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?"
Because you know if it wasn't for that crazy apple business,
we would all be completely normal and child bearing would be
as pleasant as sitting down for a hot fudge sundae.
But no, instead I am dealing with raging hormonal issues
and my child is pleading with the creator of the universe
to give him a nicer mommy come morning time.
I'm not really sure where to go from here
but one thing is clear....
I need to start saving for my children's therapy now.
That and someone needs to get me
a life time supply of 62% cacao dark chocolate.
It's the only thing that seems to hold psycho-hormonal girl at bay.


jessi said...

Yup...my 7 year old has offered to join with me in prayer for my 'attitude'. That's sad...

There's a good inner healing seminar my husband & I went to a few years ago...I thought maybe I could lock in for all my kids and get a good rate...cuz I know they're gonna have plenty of 'issues' to deal with in about 15-20 years...

emilymr said...

Oh man... I still don't think I overreact *per se*. I mean, I've got legitimate complaints, darnit!!! But I admit that storming out of the dining room, flinging myself onto the bed and sobbing hysterically "Does it LOOK like he's ready for bed?????" when DH asked me if Micah was ready for bed might perhaps qualify as a teeny bit on the hormonal side.

julie said...

"Oh, Eve.....what have you done? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?"

I LOVE THAT LINE!! And I was giggling all the way through your post because I Am So Happy to discover someone else does the irrational weepy-grumpy thing. Here I thought I was the only ridiculous-acting woman around.

There's strength in numbers, right?

Anissa said...

I'm with you on the dark chocolate thing - is there anything better when life isn't going as planned and your feeling a little insane...?

susanna said...

as my friend Jennifer said, "Sista solidarity"! It's good to know I'm not the only one out there with hormone issues!