thankful

I have decided I am a creature of habit.
I get into a groove and I like to stay there.
It's not that I don't enjoy new things....
Give me a new place to visit or a new food to try
and I will be right on it.
But I tend to be very comfortable in my comfort zone.
So today was one of those definitely out-of-my-comfort-zone days.
I did two things with a very un-Sue like groove.
I spoke at a women's breakfast and
posted a blog on Faithchick, a website for christian women authors.
A women's breakfast meaning women other than myself
and authors meaning those who have already published a zillion books.
There was a little angst involved.
I couldn't finish my delicious quiche,
due to the general nervousness of my stomach
and it took me more than a few minutes to pull together my thoughts
for the post but I also had a few larger than moments,
for one who is so entirely ruled by fear
and has a huge compulsion of comparing myself to others.
Fear and comparison can pretty much kill all the joy God has for you
in any new work he is trying to accomplish in your life.
And I feel like God stepped in and gave me words today -
words to speak and write.
I can't remember what exactly I said at the breakfast but
no one left the room screaming or refused to make eye contact.
And I didn't feel the normal amount of self-loathing that I often feel
as I stack myself and non-accomplishments up against those of other
writers who are far more accomplished, published and gifted than I am.
So I am thinking that at a time when I was willing to say "yes"
to something new and uncomfortable, something beyond myself
and out of my league, Jesus met me.
He overcame my lack and my apprehension.
He put words in my mouth and peace in my heart.
And that is no small task, where I am concerned.
So I must give credit where credit is due.
He did what I could not do on my own.
And I'm thankful.