Monday, February 18, 2008

joy

As far as I can tell, joy is not something that you can capture.
If it were than I, personally, would stick it in a bottle and
shove it my underwear drawer and pull it out on the difficult days,
like when the toilet overflows for no apparent reason leaving
the floor glistening under an inch of potty water(Sunday night)
or when the bongo drum in the living room (don't ask) fell over,
cracking the edge off of my already scarred coffee table (last week)
or when you just feel truly overwhelmed by commitments
(3rd round of edits on the book) and worn thin by life
(jam jar spilling and dribbling down all four shelves of the fridge,
hardening into jam rock candy) or exhausted by sleepless nights
(children who like to crawl into bed with you at 4:00 am
and place their tiny cold icicle feet on your toasty warm calves).
At any one of these moments I would dig through my drawer of jog bras
and underpants and pull out my joy bottle, uncork it and drink in
a small portion of joy. That feeling of utter contentment and delight.
The feeling of knowing that you are exactly where you want to be and
who you want to be. You know, JOY.
When I am chipping jam off of the fridge shelves I am neither content nor
delighted and I wish I were both somewhere else and someone else.
Like a rich lady getting a mani/pedi. That would be nice.
So far my underwear drawer just still holds underwear - no bottle o' joy.
So I have decided when it comes my way I am going to soak it up.
I am going to lean into those joy filled moments and SOAK IT UP.
I am going to soak up sunny mornings and hot cups of milky coffee and
little boy hugs. Movie dates and free burritos from Chipotle.
Seeing Jack and Will learning to ride their bikes without training wheels.
Watching Addie play in the water table. I am going to soak it up, tsgs.
There all these small moments laced through out my day
and if I don't pay attention they will slip through my fingers and
I will miss out on moments, fragments, morsels of pure unadulterated JOY.
And that is unacceptable.
So with that, I'd better be going because I think I hear some JOY
going on out in the living room and I wouldn't want to miss out.

7 comments:

Leslie said...

I don't want to miss out either, Sue. Why is that often so hard to remember? LesP

susanna said...

Because there is so much laundry. :) I love you, Les! Sue

Leslie said...

I would do more laundry if you and I could dance our way through it together. Criss Cross came on the radio the other day and I about flipped my car, I was so excited. Thank goodness I was the only one in it. I'm definitely going to be "that mom" - the one that humiliates her children by dancing while she drives. Love you too!

angela said...

Hey, I want to know more about your book. What do you write?

angela said...

Because I could read it...I really should finish a thought before I post, huh?

angela said...

I meant I WOULD read it. Did I just double your comments for this blog?

susanna said...

Hey, Angela,
My book comes out in January 2009. It's called....drumroll...confessions of a tired supergirl. :) It's christian non-fiction - talking about our supergirl girl struggle to become the women God designed us to be. Each chapter is a different confession like I have pride or I'm selfish or reveals other horrendous things like that which are all true.:)

By the way....I noticed you are a fitness instructor that has three children...could you tell me how to eliminate the stomach rolls that have occurred after birthing three 9 lb children. I would heart you forever.

Thanks for making it look like eleventy people commented on my blog even though it was just you and my friend Leslie. :)