Sunday, March 30, 2008

mommy pains

Welcome to the new tired supergirl Sassy McSasserson blog layout.
Shout outs to Jennisa from Once Upon A Blog,
for her creativity and her amazing ability
to make a tired supergirl feel sassy about her blog
even when her bangs are real short.
(Which by the way, are growing out quite nicely now, thank you.)
If you would like to see all the creative things that the amazing Jennisa does
and how she could sassify your blog, if you need any more sass that is,
check out her website.
And on that high happy note,
I seem to be riding the hormone roller coaster again.
I had a post partum breakdown the other day.
Now I know it has been 2 years since I have birthed anyone.
And maybe that seems too long to have a post partum weep fest.
But this is precisely the reason why I had the break down.
While on vacation, Addison and I, took a toddler/mommy trip to the store to pick
up some cleaning supplies.
And I was listening to Colby Callait of Bubbly fame.
The last song on her CD came on - Capri.
And Colby starts singing a lullaby with a plaintive guitar accompanying her,
She's gotta a baby inside
And holds her belly tight
All through the night
Just so she knows she's sleeping so safely to keep her growing
And oh when she'll open her eyes
There'll be no surprise
That she'll grow to be so beautifully
just like her mother that's carryin'
Oh Capri
she's beauty
baby inside she's loving
Oh Capri
she's beauty
there is an angel growing peacefully
Oh Capri sweet baby

And people, I just broke down.
Tears upon tears streamed down my face and I looked at Addison
in the rear view mirror and thought, "He's my last baby."
And it did me right in. Yes, it did.
Not one thought about thank the good Lord that I am done with
stretch marks, water retention, vomiting, leg cramps, waddling,
heartburn, back aches, shooting pains, uncharted weight gain,
charted weight gain, back fat, swollen ankles, high sensitivity to smells,
high sensitivity to rude comments... need I go on?
No, I just thought, I won't ever feel a little one fluttering in my belly again.
And I cried all the way to Rite Aid.
Cuz I won't ever hold my belly tight, full of new life, all through the night again.
And I won't ever be handed a downy headed funny squinty eyed newborn again.
For goodness sakes, I'm tearing up even as I'm typing.
It's the hormones, girls, they just don't let up.
2 years out and I'm still a basket case.
I feel like that cry bookended my baby season for me.
I'm so thankful for my three boys and their babyhoods.
And I am thankful that they are growing up strong and sweet.
I'm thankful for the years that have passed.
But I think I need to listen to that song at least 14 more times.
And remember. Because there is nothing like it. Having a baby inside.
Better pony up with the tissue, girls.
I feel another cry coming on.

post signature

ps you can listen to the song on the new superjam player...
if you would like to cry along with me.


FrazzMom said...

I've had mommy pains over the years. Now that my kids are teens/tweens, I my mommy pains are of a completely different kind!

Love your sassy new look!

Leslie said...

The blog looks fantastic! You and I must be on parallel tracks because I am currently weighing the idea of one more. I've already got the "AMA" (Advanced Maternal Age) sticker on my file at the doctor's office - it waves at me like the Scarlett Letter. And I can't get any more saggy than I am. But I'm hoping the desire will pass...everytime my kids start fighting, it suddenly disappears. LesP

Paula said...

I had a mommy pain today at McDonald's as Dana introduced herself to another little girl and asked her if she would like to play with her. I looked at Glen and said "I think I am going to cry" Then I promptly began to cry over the fact that my kid had learned a lesson and was growing up. glen just looked at me and I muttered threw my tears, I am alittle hormonal. To which he replied, You should talk to Sue.

Kara said...

I am absolutely, unaquivically (sp?) in LOVE with the design of your new blog. It totally looks like you and it is very shey cool!! Nice job. I might have to check out your friend! Great jobj!Jjjjjjujjjjjjjjjjjjjjhjjj

The letters entered above are from Makenna! She sends her love to you!

Kelly @ Love Well said...

My youngest is 11 weeks old -- and I think we're going to have one more -- and my heart is STILL aching after this.

Being a woman is a special gift -- and at the top of that list is the privilege of bearing children.

Bets said...

I cried reading this; and I intend to have at least one more baby, but even the reality of housing a little life inside my own, only one more time makes my heart and my body ache with longing. My youngest (of four - all girls) is only 10 months and I'm itching for that experience again... I love the way you express things, and your blogs have blessed my heart numerous times since I started coming here. Thanks!