There was some high pitched keening and tears.
Tears of loss. Tears of remorse. Because of yogurt.
Yesterday I went grocery shopping and there was a sale on yoplait.
10 for $7. And that's not too bad. So I stocked up.
And the way the children reacted, you would have thought they won the lottery.
There was a lot of "ooh"ing and "ah"ing.
But what I was unaware of is that they started claiming yogurts.
Like staking a claims for a homestead...except on a dairy product.
Apparently, there was some haggling that went down.
You get the strawberry custard. Tomorrow I get the orange.
I get the key lime pie. You can have lemon delight tomorrow.
I did not realize this. This vast love of yogurt.
So today when Jack asked if he could have yogurt for his after school snack,
I said yes, and he snatched the orange yogurt that Will had previously tagged.
And than he proceeded to taunt his younger brother with his orange yogurt.
"Wow, I really love this ORANGE yogurt. I've always wanted ORANGE yogurt.
Will, did you see I have ORANGE yogurt?"
Which sent Will into a fit of hysterics
that would have done the tasmanian devil proud.
I couldn't interpret his screeching so well but I began to see that these
were no ordinary yogurt circumstances.
And I had loads of patience in dealing with Will. I think I said,
"You are not allowed to cry over yogurt. IT'S YOGURT!"
To which he pitifully wailed, "O-r-ange Yoh-gurtttt!"
So he then proceeded to go to the freezer where Jack had frozen a lemon
yogurt to eat tomorrow and began to peel the foil off that yogurt.
Which sent Jack into the hysterical abyss as that was his yogurt he
had specially frozen. And I found myself saying things like,
"You cannot have 2 yogurts, for goodness sake. You took the orange.
Will gets lemon. This is not difficult. Can everyone stop weeping?
You are absolutely not allowed to cry over YOGURT! YOGURT!"
To which Jack wailed, "It's not fair!" To which I answered,
"Which part? The part about you taunting your brother with the yogurt
he wanted or the part that he taunted you back?"
And then I began saying things like,
"We will never have yogurt in this house again! EVER!
And no computer time for anyone crying over YOGURT!"
Because of course, that makes perfect sense that the children
should not be allowed technological privileges if they torment
each other with dairy products.
And clearly, I have helped my children work through their conflict
in a totally mature way by denying them fruity yogurts for their lifetime.
So you can see we are all on a completely sane and even keel over here.
Really, we are.....
Down with dairy.
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