Saturday, June 21, 2008


Suppose that someone went away for 4 days to Colorado.
And suppose that person right before they left, bought a gallon of milk.
And suppose they left it in the back of van, where it was hidden away
under a beach blanket and not noticed when this person took all of the
other groceries out of the van and put them in the refrigerator where they belonged.
Suppose this milk sat in temperatures of upwards of 94 degrees for
all those long 4 Colorado trip days.
And than could no longer contain the ripeness which was happening therein.
Suppose that on the day this person was arriving home from Colorado
all the ripeness decided to burst forth and empty into the back
cavern of one very unlucky Honda Odyssey.
And this persons husband came to pick this person up in this Odyssey.
How long do you suppose it will smell like a small heifer
died in the back cavern of this poor poor van?
And how long do you suppose it will be before this person
can sit in the car without their eyes watering?
And how long do you suppose it will be before this person's children
will stop whimpering and gagging while they sit locked into their booster seats
inhaling the heifer smell?
And how long do you suppose it takes to crack through an arm and hammer baking soda crust that hardened on the back cavern carpet because people didn't read that it said "use on dry carpet only" and definitely do not use on wet carpet?
And how long do you suppose the dust buster will smell faintly of the
rotten milk death stench? 1 month? 3 months? A lunar year?
And how long do you suppose this person should wait before they call in the
Just wondering.

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Tracey said...

I FOUND YOUR BLOG WHILE HOPPING....This was so funny I almost peed my pants.!

Bets said...

Aw - of all things - I have had almost this exact thing happen - and unfortunately I never found a home remedy that worked- I suggest calling the professionals! I'm so sorry!

Marie-France said...

I am gagging because I kow that familiar smell

Grateful Gramma said...

Don't know if it will work on this or not but....Greased Lightning took the smell of cat urine out of a quilt. If it can do that, it might help with milk! Good luck!

Kara said...

GIRL!!!!!!!!!! Oh man. I have spilled a half gallon of milk in my wonderful Honda Odyssey and cleaned it up within 24 hours and it wreaked for weeks, even after I had it professionally cleaned. I am not quite sure what the longevity of rotten milk smell would be, but I can't imagine a quick spray of scented lilacs is going to help you here.

Maybe I could pray your noses go "out" on ya for a few months. Sorry girlfriend.

amy said...

Call the professionals NOW!!! One of our kids spilled a sippy cup of milk in our old Jeep and every time it got hot out the smell returned! Good luck!

Elaine said...

My friend once vomited in my car. She had been drinking large quantities of raspberry vodka. She loaned me a can of special car wash stuff guaranteed to remove the smell. I can't remember the name, but I'm sure a car shop will have it. Did it work? Well, after using that and copious quantities of Febreze, the car was mostly smell free. But on a hot day, there was always the faint smell of Febreze with an undertone of vomited raspberries...