Thursday, September 18, 2008

feeding frenzy

Last night, Scott went out to dinner with Brett, my brother-in-law.
They go out and talk about ministry, vision for the church, outreach, set up, etc.
So Jenny and I decided that we would go out, too.
When we go out we talk about...nothing....because we tend to have my 3 boys in tow.
I say things like,"How was your day...Get up off the floor!
I don't care if there are pennies under the table."
Or "Is work going okay? Your knife is not a sword! Stop playing with the ketchup!"
and things of that nature.
Last night, we ate at the loudest restaraunt in the world.
It was completely scrumptious, but difficult to enjoy any ambience as
Addison kept yelling above the din, "Too yeowd! Too yeowd!" (Too loud! Too loud!)
Jenny, being the fantastic aunt that she is, suggested that we get dessert.
We are always down with dessert. Especially when that dessert is chocolate cake.
We decided to share a piece between the 5 of us.
The waiter assured us it was large.
But, tsgs, you have never seen my children so focused as they were
when that piece of cake arrived. Which, by the way, was not so large.
It was something akin to watching the discovery channel during
shark week when they throw chum in the water for the hungry beasts.
Chocolate-lust filled their eyes and each became amazingly adept at
weilding their cutlery.
Mind you, these are small children who frequently want to use their fingers
to eat yogurt at home because spoons are just too hard.
A clashing of forks ensued, each small boy vying for THE MOST CAKE
consumed in THE LEAST AMOUNT of seconds.
Several times fork tines became violently intertwined.
All attempts at conversation by Jenny and I were abandoned in hopes of securing
a small bit of cake for ourselves.
At one point, I held Jack's fork down with my own and said,
"Back..BACK...BACK! You have had enough cake! Leave the crumbs for Aunt Jenny!"
Because truly, she was trying to use the back of her fork to pick up
some miniscule cake crumbs so she could taste the cake she had so generously bought.
Beads of perspiration popped up on our brows,
so crazed was the chocolate cake frenzy.
Jenny and I only managed 5 1/2 bites of cake between the two of us.
I say "1/2" because a part of a bite of mine dropped on the table and Addison
gobbled it off the table top like a baby vulture.
This all took place in about 57 seconds.
By the time the waiter had set down the cake, crossed the restaurant to take an order
and made his way back to see how we were doing, the cake was gone.
As if holy fire had come down from the restaurant heavens and consumed it.
He stopped at our table and said,
"How are you enjoying your....may I take your plate?"
So we bundled up the kids and headed home, trying to recall the taste of the cake
because it was gulped down so quickly Jenny and I are not sure it actually made contact with our tastebuds.
It's always fun to go out with my sister.
But I believe next time we venture out it will be by ourselves, sans kids.
And we will each get our own piece of cake.


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9 comments:

Steph at The Red Clay Diaries said...

Sue,
I love this story! I am with you on trying to go anywhere with anyone and do anything if I've got the kids with me. I've spent the last 11 years interrupting conversations with "Do NOT give the dog peanut butter!" or "I know you love your sister, but sitting on her is not the way to show it!" They're all in school now, and I feel like a whole new world has opene up for me. Good luck on the sister date sans kids. Sounds like you need it!

Kim said...

We were out with friends to a steak house (can't remember the name of it now) and we were STUFFED but the other wife really, really wanted a little bit of chocolate to end the meal. So we decided all four would share the chocolate cake. Oh.My.Word. It was actually two LARGE pieces of cake, four scoops of ice cream and chocolate sauce poured over everything. We.Could.Not.Finish.It. How sad is that? And I still wonder if servers tell single diners how big it is if they should be so clueless as to order it? 'Cause I'm sorry but even if that was all I ate, I couldn't finish it by myself. And I am a dedicated chocoholic!

henryjz said...

I'm still laughing!

Kara said...

That was a hysterical story Sue! I couldn't help but picture poor Jenny using the back of her fork to obtain even a small morsel of the coveted chocolate cake. Makenna is the same way with her chocolate and when I tell her "Ok - one more bite and then you are done", she immediately starts shoving in bite after bite after bite as if because she is doing it so ferociously and quickly that I will count the 8 bites as only one.

These kids sure love their sugar highs - don't they? :-)

Jodie said...

I LOVE that you used the word sans. I have loved that for years! :)
Great story - very well told, as per the usual. ;) Your conversation in the restaurant sounds strangely familiar....

Bronwen said...

Oh my goodness I love this part:

When we go out we talk about...nothing....because we tend to have my 3 boys in tow.
I say things like,"How was your day...Get up off the floor!
I don't care if there are pennies under the table."
Or "Is work going okay? Your knife is not a sword! Stop playing with the ketchup!"
and things of that nature.

Oh so accurate!

Kelly @ Love Well said...

This is just so STINKIN' BRILLIANT that I have no additional words. (And that's saying something, sister.) I have lived this scene before, and you captured it perfectly.

I'd bake you a cake and ship it to you -- for JUST YOU AND JENNY -- but I think we both know the kids intercept packages with sweets in them.

Chel's Leaving a Legacy said...

This is one of the funniest posts I've read lately...OH I can so relate! Very well done, tsg!

I still can't stop grinning!!

I'm hungry for some chocolate...

Erica said...

Sue,
I read this to Mom and Dad and Josh and Evelyn last night when we were all together, and we all got a good chuckle out of it....can't stop laughing about the violent intertwining of the fork tines!
Love you, Erica