to a woman's conference this weekend at my Aunt Mary's church.
We were looking forward to the prospect of some time focused on Jesus and of
course, the offer of free childcare.
But by the time Friday rolled around, I was wondering if I really
needed to spend my weekend at a conference.
Not because I am holy and filled with wisdom and don't need time focused on Jesus,
but just because I was tired and feeling worn down by living
and thought maybe I would like to focus on sleep instead.
My friend, Rodney, used to say, "I am THROUGH!" And you knew he was. He was done.
And tsgs, I have been hovering in around "through" for a little while now.
Like life is running rough shod over me and I can't quite keep a hold on it.
But Jenny said that she thought we should go anyway. Even though we were tired.
That maybe God had something for us this weekend
if we could get ourselves to the conference.
And she was right. You should always listen to your sister. Sisters are smart.
Over Friday night and Saturday,
in the sessions and the prayer times, the chatting with cousins and friends,
God gave me a fresh word. Something I could hang my heart on.
He is with me. I am not alone. He has not forgotten me. He loves me.
And he would like to give me some rest...would I like to hand over the
47 gagillion things that I have been worried about, the 32 issues of the heart
that I ponder and agonize over, the fears that I am clinging to, and the desires
that I am harboring deep within my soul?
And as I have been thinking on this, I think, yes, I really would.
I've had a lot of cares lately. Cares. Things that mean something to me.
Things that I care about.
Like people who so sick they can't stand it and would like to get better.
Bills that would like to be paid.
Small boys that are growing and changing and need some attention.
Friendships that need tending.
Deadlines that need meeting.
You know, cares.
And this weekend, I felt that God reminded me,
"Hey! I'm right here. Hand 'em over."
There are moments when we realize that life is impossible.
And then there are moments when we realize that
that doesn't concern God in the least.
He's all over it.
And do you know what that does for a tired supergirl who is feeling through?
It cracks a window to the soul, so some hope can creep in.
And it breathes some peace into a body that is tight with worry.
And opens the door for some grace and then some more grace, to fill in the cracks.
I thought maybe you needed a fresh word, too.
God is with you. You are not alone. He has not forgotten you. He loves you.
And whatever cares you are clinging to, whatever it is that has you all bound up
(and if you are not bound up, pray for those of us who are, for goodness sakes)
hand it over. God loves the impossible. He's all over it.
That's something you can hang your heart on.