Monday, February 2, 2009

it is ground hog's day after all

If you ever watched ground hog's day with Bill Murray,
you know that he gets stuck in some freakish time warp where
he keeps living the same day over and over again.
That would tend to grate on one's nerves I would think.
Doing the same things every...single...day.
Even as I am typing this I have a sense that my life is not that different.
That getting ready for school each morning is a bit like a perpetual ground hog's day.
Monday morning....
1. Wake up. Put on my robe.
2. Make peanut butter toast.
3. Put on the coffee. (Oh, sweet heavens, thank you for the coffee.)
4. Wake the children with soft tender good mornings.
5. Check to see if lunches are made. Put them by the door.
6. Wake the children with a cheery hello and flip the light on.
7. See why there are no clean socks when you have been doing laundry for 4 consecutive days...apparently, the sock fairy has stolen them and left gray balls of lint in their place.
8. Yell at the children and give them a shake, "Get up already! Do you want to be late?" Apparently, they do.
9. Clutch at the coffee cup like it is a sweet nectar of heavenly light.
Because it is.
10. Apologize to the children,"I'm sorry mommy is so angry in the morning but I was only angry the last time I called you. The other two times I was all sunshine and roses....why are you not up yet?"
11. Dress the toddler. Pick up the toddler from his early morning I-disapprove-of-your-underwear-choice-for-me tantrum and carry him to the table for breakfast.
12. Call half dressed children to the table.
13. Tell them, "This is not a diner. I am not a short order cook. There are no eggs available or pancakes or frozen waffles for that matter. Why do you think we are having peanut butter toast?"
14. Resume search for socks. Mismatched pairs will do.
15. Re-dress toddler. He is wearing his peanut butter toast.
16. Refill coffee cup.
17. Inspect children. They are all alive. Decide to let the crazy hair and
mismatched socks go for the sake of ones sanity.
18. Begin the toothbrush chant. "Brush your teeth! Brush your teeth!"
19. Make sure children have backpacks, homework and lunches in hand.
20. Breath check at the door. Unload children of their backpacks, homework and lunches. Resume toothbrush chant with more vigor.
"BRUSH YOUR TEETH! BRUSH YOUR TEETH!"
21. Re-load children with backpacks, homework and lunches.
22. Load into van. Pass off the torch to husband who will take the children to school- bless his heart.
23. Collapse on couch amidst a pile of mismatched socks.
Monday morning routine?
Complete.
Tuesday morning?
Repeat.


post signature

9 comments:

Jekissa said...

You are so amazing! I love that you make me laugh at my life. When I'm living through the "Monday morning routine" it is NOT funny!! But when I read about it here and look back at it, all I can do is laugh. So...thanks! :)

Lois Lane II said...

LOL!! Sounds like my morning with my very chipper morning person husband.

BTW, I LOVE your book. It's so wonderful!

Kara said...

Such a familiar routine Sue! My child is actually seeing a song to me right now with the words "booty. booty. booty." being recited over and over. And she's a girl for heaven's sake!!! The only difference would be that my husband doesn't take them off my hands and rush them off to school just yet. At least we have our coffee!!! :-) Love you. Love your book girl!!

BizzieLizzie said...

Oh, HILARIOUS - thanks for this - my morning is so MILD compared!! Thank you God!! =0)

{Jodie} said...

So great!! I laughed so much and laughing? It's my favorite! :)

And I heartily agree with clutching that 2nd cup of heavenly light! :) Sweet Mercy, thank God for coffee!!

This was fantastic! So much like my mornings. I loved #17. Inspect the children. They are all alive. At that point, that is all that matters. :) And the coffee. More coffee.

I'm gonna link to you today b/c this is just fantastic and so funny!

*~*Pilgrim*~* said...

Yep... sounds very, very familiar, except that is my sister's life, thankfully.
Mine involves no children, just dogs.
Let them in. Let them out. Let them in. Feed them. Play ball inside. Let them out. Play ball outside. Let them in. Feed them. Let them out. Let them in.
Every day. Repeat forever....

Auntie Jan said...

You just reminded me... I'm so happy to be at work before Rose (my 20 month old grandaughter) wakes up..... her mom can deal with all that stuff. She has curly hair and I am glad I'm not there while it's getting brushed!

Erin McGraw said...

My mornings seem to be filled with a standard routine as well. Except my kids are waking me up. I have always hoped for the day that they would wake up after me but after reading your post that might not be a good thing. Congrats on your book!!

Just Me said...

That was funny. I am sure my husband deals with that in the mornings:) He deals with the children in the morning and I get them after school. I think he still gets the better deal. He does not have to pull his hair out doing homework and the constant whining of how they don't want to read and don't need to know how to do math *lol*