And I am a fan of books. And books on writing? That is some definite fun.
And books on writing by Madeleine L'engle? I didn't even know there was one.
So I ordered A Circle of Quiet. I thought it might aid me mentally.
And I love the musical way that Madeleine L'engle writes. It inspires me.
And also the title drew me right in. How lovely is "A Circle of Quiet"?
I don't really refer to anything in my life as a circle of quiet.
I may come up against a triangle of despair or a hectagon of chaos but
you can bet that a circle of quiet is rare.
I also got a book called Rest: Living in Sabbath Simplicity.
Because I would like some sabbath simplicity.
But I sat down to read it the other night and feel asleep.
Maybe it is already working it's magic.
So last night I got in bed at 8:15 because I am that tired
and began A Circle of Quiet. And while it is a book about writing and
syntax and technique, it is more a book about life and thinking and mothering
and how to live and work and breathe and all those things that we do.
Madeleine doesn't play.
In one part she quotes Emerson,
"What you are speaks so loudly over your head that I cannot hear what you say."
And goes on to say,
So I know, with a sense of responsibility that hits me with a cold fist in the pit of my stomach, that what I am is going to make more difference to my own children and those I talk to and teach than anything I tell them.
It is a good thought to start the day with. Not the fist in the stomach part.
But the part about who we are as mothers.
That being a mother is more about the showing than the telling.
It is more about being than saying.
More than saying "I love you".
It a strong sweeping up in the arms and covering with kisses.
It is a tending of scraped knees and rubbing of little shoulders.
It is a bent ear and shared book on the couch.
It is shared cookie and snuggle before nap.
Or a helping hand with some difficult spelling words.
So with that thought while there may be no circle of quiet in my house today,
I'm intending to speak loudly with who I am.