There are hand prints on the sliding glass doors and smudges on the windows
where small sticky hands have slid past.
The handle to the microwave is hanging on by a small thread of plastic.
The globe to the 70's light fixture above the kitchen table is long gone revealing
a very green and very ugly fluorescent bulb.
The striped beach glass colored throw rug in the living room sports the
remnants of a coffee stain, some ground in orange playdough and the portions where it should be white are more beige than anything else.
And in the re-painted magazine crate that is missing the handle, there sits a copy of
Decorating by Better Homes and Gardens.
Brett and Jenny got it for me last week.
After a long perusal, my mind is working, churning over ideas and thoughts of new colors and rugs. Rugs sans playdough.
Scott caught me perusing rugs on line a few nights ago and began asking nervous questions. Like why was I looking at rugs?
And where did I think money for new rugs would be coming from?
And would I mind if he threw the computer and its rugs out the window?
Okay, he didn't ask that but he LOOKED it.
But it is not so much about getting a rug (that will not be happening anytime soon) as it is about the possibility of there being a rug out there. Somewhere.
Somehow the seasons of my life are reflected in the placement of my furniture and the colors of the throw pillows on my couch. I'm not sure how this works.
Some girls need a new hair cut to propel them into a new frame of mind.
Some start a new hobby to launch themselves into a fresh way of looking at life.
Some glom onto a new song on the radio, a theme song that frames how they are feeling at the moment.
With me it is textiles. Go figure.
This last year, the season that I am hoping is petering out, has been a bit tempestuous. Uncertain. Exciting. Depressing. Miracle ridden. Doubt filled. All at once.
As this summer is coming to a close, I am ready for a new thing.
A measure of calm. A fresh dream. A stronger faith. A renewed purpose. A deeper joy.
And maybe a new throw for the couch. I'm thinking peacock blue.