Not on purpose.
They just seem to flood over me as the sun begins to crack the sky on a new day.
Pictures float through my mind of the wrong things I have done like being impatient with my kids or dropping the ball with planning an outreach for church or not loving Scott the way I should or forgetting to buy cheese at the grocery.
In a mere matter of seconds, I am teetering on the brink of depression and I am thoroughly disgusted with myself.
This all goes down before I manage to brush my teeth.
And this morning, as I woke up in a haze of self-incrimation,
I had the thought to ask Jesus what he thought about it.
All my failures and short-comings and less-than-ness.
And He brought this scripture to mind.
Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:13-14
So then I had to go read the whole chapter to see what Paul was referring to.
He is talking about his stuff and as believers, where we come by our confidence.
And that he doesn't come by righteousness on his own.
That it comes through God and our faith in him.
I keep forgetting that Jesus didn't call me to a life of perfection,
he called me to a life of faith.
I keep forgetting that I am to keep my eyes on who he is in my life today
and that there is not a single thing I can do to change yesterday.
So this cold foggy morning, I am grateful for a chance to take my eyes of my past and a good reminder to chase after what he has for me today.