Monday, September 20, 2010

it has come to my attention that toothpaste is my enemy

When one is living with 3 small boys and one large one,
one must come to the realization that one is in a battle.
A battle against dirt and grime and apparently, toothpaste art that is cemented onto the bathroom sink like a peppermint mural.
Every morning I come into the bathroom and find a half a tube of toothpaste left on the edges surrounding the sink.
I have never thought it was difficult to get the toothpaste on the brush...
merely, open the cap, give it a small squeeze leaving a small ball of toothpaste on the bristles of the toothbrush and commence brushing.
But this does not seem to be the case in my home.
It seems that maybe the children are forming minty lassoes out of rings of toothpaste and flinging them up over their heads and seeing if by chance, the toothpaste MIGHT land on the toothbrush.
If it doesn't, this is okay too, since the contrast of blue toothpaste against white sink is highly fashionable and forms nice patterns.
Or maybe it is more of a territorial act, like how a dog leaves it scent behind for other dogs.
One child's toothpaste leavings symbolize to the rest,
"I have been here. I may or may not have brushed my teeth but this is my corner of the sink."
Or perhaps the children have forgone toothbrushes all together and are squeezing the toothpaste directly onto the sink itself and then are licking it up.
I would not put this past them.
But inevitably, no one...NO ONE...thinks that once the toothpaste is on the sink, it should be wiped up.
Maybe they think there is a small chance they might lose a hand if they tried to get it off of the counter before it hardened into a stucco like mass.
I can see one child turning to the other and saying,
"Once it hits the tile, it's toxic. Back slowly away from the sink."
I have given up addressing the toothpaste issue to the children.
It is a lost cause just like wearing matching socks or licking fingers at the dinner table.
So each day, I wander into the bathroom and take out my chisel to try and get the toothpaste off of the sink.
But on the upside, most mornings my hands smell minty fresh.

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Belle said...

You are so funny. This is a great blog.

BARBIE said...

Oh my gosh, this is the most hilarious thing I've read in a while. I can so relate!

Girly Muse said...

OH!!!! This is an extreme frustration of MINE too!!! If you figure out any sort of answer to defeating this enemy, let us know!!! hahaha

Lora said...

Oh.My.Goodness... Laughed out loud! I, too, did not know it was so difficult to put toothpaste on a toothbrush and then put the top back on!!