Heart and soul. And pocketbook.
They have all the great Pottery Barn knock offs that I love to decorate with and
I can buy underwear there in a pinch if I have to.
I can get a photo album and an upholstered chair if I want to.
But my Target has turned against me, people.
They have crammed half of the existing store into a crowded mish mosh and
have added a grocery section.
Not just a small convenience kind of grocery section but a
I'm-trying-to-be-a-Walmart-superstore-but-with-not-enough-space kind of grocery section.
And to be honest, I don't really want to buy produce from a place that sells me
tennis shoes and bathtub caulking.
I saw a bag of apples directly across from a celery green faux croc trunk.
No, thank you, Target.
And in all the renovating they have paired items together in the same row that are very distressing to me. Very. Distressing.
Kitchen and office together?
What is next...auto accessories and stationary?
Where is the logic here?
And the boys clothing section was so cramped I had to suck in my gut to just squeeze in between the racks.
There should be enough room for both me and my gut in between the clothing racks.
That goes without saying.
I had to call my sister, Erica, last month as I wandered in horror through the mis-organized aisles.
Target used to soothe me. But I was so beside myself all I could say to her was,
"There are blenders next to the expanding files....EXPANDING FILES!"
And no one knew where the sunscreen was...because it was near the cookware.
Because obviously there are a lot of ultra-violet rays in kitchens nation-wide.
Is the whole world mad? Mad, I say?
(deep breaths, Susanna, deep breaths)
I am hoping all the crazy at Target will die down.
But when I called my sister, Jenny, she said they put groceries in her Target, too.
Apparently, it is an epidemic.
So with that said, I am greatly disappointed in you, Target.
You with your waxy vegetables and your large aisles of needless canned goods.
But I still love you. And I guess I half-way forgive you.
Because I can't stop thinking about that celery green faux croc trunk.
It would look perfect in my living room.