Tuesday, September 14, 2010

something strange is a-foot at the target

I love Target.
Heart and soul. And pocketbook.
They have all the great Pottery Barn knock offs that I love to decorate with and
I can buy underwear there in a pinch if I have to.
I can get a photo album and an upholstered chair if I want to.
But my Target has turned against me, people.
They have crammed half of the existing store into a crowded mish mosh and
have added a grocery section.
Not just a small convenience kind of grocery section but a
I'm-trying-to-be-a-Walmart-superstore-but-with-not-enough-space kind of grocery section.
And to be honest, I don't really want to buy produce from a place that sells me
tennis shoes and bathtub caulking.
I saw a bag of apples directly across from a celery green faux croc trunk.
No, thank you, Target.
And in all the renovating they have paired items together in the same row that are very distressing to me. Very. Distressing.
Kitchen and office together?
What is next...auto accessories and stationary?
Where is the logic here?
And the boys clothing section was so cramped I had to suck in my gut to just squeeze in between the racks.
There should be enough room for both me and my gut in between the clothing racks.
That goes without saying.
I had to call my sister, Erica, last month as I wandered in horror through the mis-organized aisles.
Target used to soothe me. But I was so beside myself all I could say to her was,
"There are blenders next to the expanding files....EXPANDING FILES!"
And no one knew where the sunscreen was...because it was near the cookware.
Because obviously there are a lot of ultra-violet rays in kitchens nation-wide.
Is the whole world mad? Mad, I say?
(deep breaths, Susanna, deep breaths)
I am hoping all the crazy at Target will die down.
But when I called my sister, Jenny, she said they put groceries in her Target, too.
Apparently, it is an epidemic.
So with that said, I am greatly disappointed in you, Target.
You with your waxy vegetables and your large aisles of needless canned goods.
But I still love you. And I guess I half-way forgive you.
Because I can't stop thinking about that celery green faux croc trunk.

It would look perfect in my living room.

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8 comments:

Pamela said...

Oh, Target...the color is too red and yes, it is crammed and yes, I am bothered by the change. The good news is I no longer find wandering the aisles of Target soothing (unless it is of the old variety) and therefore, my pocketbook is not depleted because of finding some deal I just couldn't live without.

lyndabyrd said...

The Redwood City Target has gone full circle. When it was first built, the whole back section was food and it was as big as a regular Safeway. Yes, I've been here for a long time! I actually miss the garden section that they closed in the last remodel. Maybe it will get straighten out once they finish rearranging.

Angel said...

We have groceries now at our Target too!! I don't really like it either. I really just liked Target the old way!! Your post is hilarious though!!

Love and Blessings

danielle said...

True confessions- I LOVE the grocery section at our Target (Walnut Creek-it's pretty big so not much cramming happened to install the section- it takes up the entire back wall). The prices beat Safeway almost every time- cereal, at least $1.00 cheaper, peanut butter- at least $1-2 cheaper! .
It always takes me about 6 months to recover from a Target remodel (we've had so many!) and living through the constitution is excruciating! In the end though- I still come back.

Cristin said...

Boy did you hit a nerve! Couldn't agreee more! When ours was remodeled a few months back it seemed like everything in the store was moved around every few days. Drove me crazy dragging a 4 year old and 1 year old to every corner of the store to find what I was looking for. I would never buy "fresh" produce or meat there. I stick to buying just cereal and juice there.

Michele B said...

Oh gosh, reading these comments now I'm getting really nervous. On my last visit to our Target (Turlock) I saw that they are also are now preparing to close the garden section. I just thought it was because it is right next to the Home Depot garden section. But could it mean they're going to do this to us here, as well? I tend to get panic attacks when my favorite stores get rearranged. No joke.

Laura said...

Sometimes it is best to just leave well enough alone! I'm with you...we don't need our produce purchases taking place along side our bath towel buys. But I'm also willing to give Target a second chance to come to their senses. I love them too!

Kelly @ Love Well said...

I live inside the Target Mother Ship (also known as Minnesota), and I hate to tell you, but this is happening on purpose. And it will eventually happen to every Target everywhere.

If it makes you feel any better, not all Target stores are so cramped. Once the remodel is done (and things stop shifting around and being all crazy; I know that brand of crazy), it's actually a lovely thing. I shop at Super Target fairly regularly for groceries and shampoo. But if I can't make it to the Big T, I'm happy to know I can snag some bananas and milk and cheese sticks at the Target down the road.

(Minnesota's new slogan should be: A Target every 5 blocks. Because -- almost.)