Sunday, May 19, 2013


This morning in that half way haze between sleep and wakefulness,
I was mulling over all of the things that have been weighing on me.
Work. Writing. The boys. Summer plans. New opportunities. Relationships.
I'm a ponderer. Or if I am honest, a worrier.
You should know that the blessing and the curse of a writer's brain is an overactive imagination.
When uncertainty arises, I can tend to think the worst might happen....
when in fact the best could happen.
Last night, talking things over the things I have been worried about with Scott,
he looked at me with compassion and said,
"Sue, you have got to start telling yourself the truth.
You have got to start telling yourself a different story."
The man is a rock. Let's just be honest.
In the face of problems or fear, he brings truth and usually some comic relief.
Because he loves me. He wants me settled in a place of peace.
Mostly, because he knows if Mama ain't happy....ain't nobody happy.
It is to his advantage to have me embracing truth and laughter.
So back to my pondering this morning.
A scripture came to my mind as I was laying in bed,
Psalm 39:7.
I pulled my Bible from the dresser.
It was already underlined along with the date February 1991.
The words of David read,
"But now, Lord, what do I look for? My hope is in you."
Clearly, in 1991, I was in need of the same words that I was in need of today.
It is is the best verse, isn't it?
A reminder verse. Like David has had a morning of anxious pondering himself
and he is remembering who is on his side, saying, (sue paraphrase)
"What in the world am I worried about, God? How could I forget?
I find all my answers in you!"
We do that. We forget. But God in his mercy reminded me again today
where my hopes belong. In Him.
So I have decided to mull that over, instead of worrying about things that are
out of my control.
Because He loves me. And He wants me settled in a place of peace.
That is enough to make Mama happy....and hopeful.

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