photo by The Nite Tripper
2. The process of trying on swimsuits is enough to break down the strongest of women.
3. If you go too tight, people want to claw their eyes out.
4. If you go too loose, there is often a free show and people want to claw their eyes out.
5. You reveal your upper thighs in all their glory.
6. If you wear a one piece, there is a good chance that there is a wedgy in your future.
7. If you wear a two piece, the probability of losing one of those pieces goes up significantly.
8. You must remember to suck in your stomach at all times and still pretend you are having fun.
9. If your swimsuit has ties, the elements of wind, water and wave will join forces to try and untie it.
10. You will inevitably see someone wearing the same swimsuit who actually looks good in it.
11. Your children will feel free to comment on what they see, shortening their own life span.
12. In your heart of hearts, you know you are just wearing really shiny underwear out in public.