Friday, March 14, 2014

just call me little miss muffet

This morning as I was trying to get the boys out the door for school,
they made an exciting scientific discovery on the fireplace mantel.
In a lacy pocket of spider web between a starfish and candlestick,
a mother spider had birthed...hatched....deposited about 50 tiny spiders
the size of a straight pin head.
They were crawling all over the web...apparently, testing out their tiny legs.
My thoughts...Ew.
My boys thoughts?
"That is so cool!"
"Awesome!"
"Awwww! They are so cute."
Jack breathed a sigh of happiness, "This is life."
"No...," I said, reaching for a nearby magazine,"This is death."
There was a communal outcry.
"No! Mom! Don't kill them."
"Mom! You can't! You are so mean! They are babies!"
Jack started singing Toby Mac's song...."Speak Life! Speak life!"
He was using Christian lyrics against me.
They were mesmerizing, so tiny and delicate.
But I would not be fooled...tiny spiders become big spiders.
I think they were planning a broad move
of how they would spread out and make every nook and corner of my home
they own personal spider playground.
But I couldn't start out the morning with my own version of arachnid genocide.
I slid the magazine under the starfish and ran to the sliding glass door.
If just one of those tiny spiders would have crawled on my hand,
I could have not been held accountable for what happened next.
But I deposited the magazine on the floor of our outdoor room....
which, I am sure, is full of spiders already.
It was my own version of Charlotte's Web.
Be free, little ones. And please find your way out the garden and
don't ever come back into my house. Or you will die.
Okay. I guess it is nothing like Charlotte's web.
But the children were happy. And I have only been super itchy about half the morning.
So we're good.....for now.

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