the new plan

It's funny to me how I seem to go through seasons in my life.
How I see Jesus move and stand amazed and think to myself,
"That was fantastic! Now, Jesus, let's talk because I really think if you want to make
an impact what you should do is this...."
And I give Him my spiel about how and why He should carry out my plans.
The truth of the matter is, I want to bend his power to my will.
I want him to move where and how I want him to.
Now you may be thinking, "Sue, that is crazy lightening bolt kind of talk,
you had better be careful what you say."
But isn't that what we all really want? For God to do what we want him to do?
We ask for his forgiveness. We beg for his mercy. We stand on his grace and his grace alone.
And than we think, "Great! Now I will take it from here....and I have a few pointers on how I
would like You to arrange my life for me, Oh Creator of the Universe."
Well, I am finding that really doesn't work.
When you ask Jesus to be Lord of your life...he kind of wants to be Lord of your life.
He calls the shots. He clears the path. He makes a way. He heals your heart. He gives you peace.
And you? You are not in charge. You are the recipient of his glory and goodness and strength.
You get to experience a huge way of living because the God that is working on your behalf is
the God who shapes stars with his words and breathes galaxies into existence.
Lately...I have been trying to be the Lord of my life.
And I have this picture in my mind of Jesus sitting back on his heels taking in my chaos and
my sorry attempts of controlling my circumstances and my astounding lack of resources and
saying, with a kind of cheeky grin, "So how is that working for you?"
Of course he knows it is absolutely NOT working for me and mostly I am a wreck.
But He is waiting. For me.
He is waiting for me to turn over my petty plans and my deep concerns to Him so that He can
do what He needs to do.
And this past week as I have been wrestling with life, I have had the thought over and over again,
"Your prayers are too small."
I think it is the Holy Spirit trying to get my attention.
I am asking the God who can make molten lava spew at his command
and shift tectonic plates with a snap of his fingers for good deals on groceries.
And it is not that He doesn't care about groceries or that he can't move on the hearts
of those who print coupons...He does. He delights in the details of our lives.
But He wants to give us our daily bread and more.
It's almost as if He is challenging me, "Give me a prayer that I can sink my teeth into."
When my prayers are small, I limit Him with what I am believing for.
Why am I not upping the ante?
When did I stop believing that He wanted to do the miraculous in my life?
Why am I not giving him the opportunity to do more than I could ever possibly hope for or imagine?
The truth is this...when I am in charge of my life...my life is small.
When I let Jesus have at my life....even the sky isn't the limit....the possibilities are endless.
So I have a new plan.
It is this.
I don't have a plan.
I am asking Jesus to let me in on his plan.
I am asking him to give me his dreams, his thoughts, his hopes
and to do whatever He wants with my life.
I have no idea what is going to happen but I have a sneaking hunch it's about to get good.