Thursday, November 6, 2014

the thing about prayer

I am not the best pray-er.
Just being honest.
I have prayer dementia.
I will hear about someone or something I want to pray for and 2.3 seconds
later the thought slips from my mind and is replaced by the thought,
"We need light bulbs" or " pants feel tight."
But I am keeping at it. I am trying new ways to pray.
Because I believe that prayer links me to heart of the Creator of the Universe.
And I want in on what He wants for me and for those around me.
I have a chalkboard in my kitchen that I used to write the boys chores on.
Now I use it as a physical reminder of all the people I am praying for.
Don't worry....The boys don't miss the chore board. At all.
But I have started lighting a tea light candle by the chalkboard and standing in front
of it when the boys leave for school.
Then I mention the names that I have written there to the God who loves us best of all.
I let him know who is hurting, who is hoping, who is needing healing and who could
use a divine reminder of his presence.
I know that He knows this already.
But I want Him to know that I am on his team.
I am standing in the gap for the people that I love.
I want what He wants for the people that He has placed on my heart and in my life.
I am saying the words that sometimes they are too sad or tired or flattened to say.
I am hoping the hopes that they are afraid to speak out because
they don't want to be disappointed...
I am telling Him of the dreams that have gripped them but that only He can bring to pass.
Or the crazy circumstances that have them stuck and could He please step in
because He is at his best in the craziest circumstances.
Sometimes I cry. And sometimes I get caught thinking about all the amazing ways that
God could come through and I get excited.
I tell Him what I think He should do.
And then I realize I don't really know what He should do and He always does it better
than I can and so I tell Him that, too.
I think God loves it when we talk to Him on behalf of his kids.
I think He wants to squeeze our heads off because hearing that his kids love each other
gets Him all whipped up.
I know this because I get all whipped up when I see my kids loving each other and He
made me like Him.
The other night, I walked into Jack's room and found all three boys curled up on his double bed,
arms flung over each other, feeling safe and close.
I wanted to throw myself on top of them because that much love is beautiful and I
wanted in.
I think God wants in on the action when He sees us loving and caring for each other,
inviting Him into the midst of our lives with our thoughts and our words.
I think our prayers for each other keep us feeling safe and close.
Knitting our hearts together with love.
Bolstering us up on the dark days.
Holding us in the palm of the One who loves us the most.
Filling us with hope and peace and strength in the midst of chaos.
And that is a beautiful thing.