Monday, January 18, 2016

the heart is a great mystery...especially in teenage boys

The other day my friend Angela and I were discussing our teenage sons.
And how they are completely unwilling to share the states of their hearts with us.

What girls do they like?
Who do they think is cute?
What girls do they think are great friends?

In fact, this is nothing new.

The last time I remember hearing who Jack liked was in 2nd grade.
Will, the kindergartner, was about to reveal this great secret and
Jack had him in a violent head lock on the floor in the hall.

Once they were separated, Jack told Will, "I am going to tell who you like."
This comment unleashed the beast in Will.
The thought of his own heart's affection being said out loud
sent him into a rage as he attacked Jack and they were back on the ground
grappling like a Grecco-Roman wrestlers.

As I peeled them off of each other,
I believe I yelled out something, full of truth, like,

That being said, I spent a good 20 minutes the other night trying
to get Jack to tell me if he likes anyone.
Because I am interested.
But the boy was a vault.

He sat passively on the couch while I peppered him with questions.
"Come on, Jack, just tell me if you think there are any cute girls at school."
"There must be someone you at least like to hang out with."
More silence.
"I liked SO MANY guys when I was your age."
(Now it is a given, that I never not once told my parents who these guys were....
but then again...they never asked.)
Deafening silence.

"You dad was in love with every cute girl he saw."
Jack looked across the room at Scott.
Scott just grinned.
"Jack....I promise I won't tell anyone...I just want to know."

At this point, Jack turned and looked at me and said,
"Mom.  Go to bed."

Clearly, he was super close to revealing his heart to me in that moment.
He couldn't be in my presence anymore with my penetrating gaze and constant questions.
He was about to crack.
Or not.
(Well played, Jack. You win this time around.)

So I went to bed.
But don't Angela said, "If at first you don't succeed, try...try again."
I won't hound him relentlessly but I will keep checking in with him.

Partly because it is fun to see the look on Jack's face when I ask him these questions.
But mostly because I want him to know that whatever is important to him?
Is important to me.
The state of his heart most of all.

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