Thursday, January 19, 2017

I am not up...or down with the times #notonfleek #atleastiamnotwearingmomjeans

I think my fashion sense has plummeted since I was forced to wear orthopedic shoes
for 4 months.
It has not gotten much better since the doc upped the ante and let me wear tennis shoes.

It is difficult to look svelte when your shoes have rubber insoles and laces.
I told my sister, Jenny, "I am going to be wearing hoodies for the next 3 months."
When I went to a baby shower last month with a silky top and Nikes.
I just told my friends, "Just look at my face. I can't reconcile my shoes and my outfit."
They were kind. But I think a few stole some glances at my shoes.

This morning I woke to an email in my inbox that said,

But are they hot with cross fit trainers is my question?
And do they go with hoodies? Or joggers?
Because that is where I am living.

The other day in the store, I saw a scarf so big it looked like a blanket.
And I thought, "How?" And then walked over to look at more tennis shoes.
Because at least I know how to put them on.

It is not just my fashion sense wavering at this point in life.
My communication SKILLZ with a "z" have taken a hit in the last few years.
I am not down with the lingo.
As you can see by me saying "down with the lingo" which is a
1970's/1980's language hybrid.

Scott listened to a podcast the other day talking about the current slang.
He has been introducing these new phrases into our conversation so we can relate to the children. #notreally#hesaysthemtomakethechildrenangry #theycantstandit #parentfun

The other day he told me, "Sue, you look FLEEK."
Jack said, "What did you just say?"
I told him, "Scott, it is ON FLEEK not FLEEK."
Jack looked at me and said, "Dad, Mom is right but Mom. Don't ever say that again."
Scott answered, "This place is about to get TURNT."
Jack may have thrown up a little in his mouth.
I asked, "What's TURNT?"
Scott said, "It's like LIT. Like IT'S ON."
Jack was desperate, "STOP TALKING."
Who knew you could torment a child just with words?
I said, "#FUNNY!"
Apparently, my hash-tagging made him want to die inside.
Jack left the room.

It is a fine line to walk between staying current and not looking like an idiot.
I'm just saying.
I am slowly transitioning to wearing Doc Martens Mary Jane's...
the shoes I wore in my college years. #retro
Super supportive soles.#toehealing
But are they fashionable? I say yes.
But Addison looked at me the other day like I was wearing clown shoes.
When I ask Will what he thinks about my style choices he says, "You're my mom."
Which means, "You look horrible and I can't look you in the eye but I love you anyway."

All I know is that I will not be picking the boys up from school in a choker top.
Or a scarf/blanket/tarp.
Because I would probably trip on the excessive fabric and break another toe.

But I think I may be able to pull off some cute outfits with my Docs that don't involve hoodies.
So in other words....
It's about to get TURNT!

p.s. don't tell Jack that I said TURNT so many will make him cry.
p.p.s. if you haven't signed up for my GOOD THINGS NEWSLETTER
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